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Lostaholix (Every Man for Himself episode)

Bill:
I'm repeating myself but each week of Season 3 of Lost more and more resembles the second half of season '06 for the Red Sox …

 

Bill:
I mean the story is going nowhere, there's no sense of momentum, the plot is full of holes and yet, and yet, I continue to watch for reasons unknown.

 

Tara:
Yeah, well, at least with the '06 Red Sox you knew it'd be over at game 162, unlike Lost where there is no end in sight.

 

Bill:
I remembah how when I first read they were going to split this season in two and only do 6 episodes in the first paht, I was all "6 episodes? Man, I'm going to be jonesing for more."

 

Bill:
Now, howevah, it feels as if I've already watched 60 episodes so fah.

 

Tara:
Absolutely. And of those 60 hours 40 were commercials. I think I tore my rotator cuff last night from repeatedly reaching for the remote to fast-forward thru the ads.

 

Bill:
So let me get this straight: The Othahs have a frickin submarine?

 

Tara:
Yeah, I heard the reference to the sub and I was like, what the hell, are the Others on Steinbrenner's payroll or what?

 

Bill:
So the Othahs have subs, have aquariums, have fully-equipped surgery facilities, have close-circuit TV's and cameras, but, alas, they are totally impotent and infertile when it comes to making babies.

 

Tara:
When you put it that way, it really does seem like the Others are the Yankees of desert island dwellers — A bunch of high dollar resources lavished on aging thugs who really believe they are on some higher plane of existence yet, in the end, just can't produce.

 

Bill:
Othahs Su-uck. Clap. Clap Clap-clap-clap. Othahs Su-uck.

 

Comments

Wow, GREAT second-to-last panel, H.B. You connect popular culture to the horrible Skankees better than anyone.

I really don't get it at all.

1. A "jail" that you can climb out of?

2. Does the polar bear drive the "sub"?

3. During Paolo's 30 seconds of screen time, Mrs. lc turned to me and said "Who is that?"
"Paolo", I retorted.
"Who"?
"Paolo".
"Who the hell is he?"
"No Idea".

4. Sawyer/Ford's prison mullet is sweet.

5. Does Desmond have, as Yogi Berra might say, Deja Preview?

lc

Second to last panel - another Guiness moment in Soxaholix history.

"Brilliant!"

lou - "deja vu preview". Good one!

I have started watching Heroes from this daily "blog," but I think I will skip Lost.

Love the clap, clap, clap H.B.

Got rings, bitches? 26 of 'em?

The Others DO like to talk about the distant past at every opportunity, too.

Got rings, bitches? 26 of 'em?

Oh, Benry, did we hit a nerve? Are you going to shake your #8 bunny now in anger?

Poor, you.

Three words to cure those who are lamenting Lost's sudden fall from the pinnacle of TV.

The Adama Maneuver.

That is a classic Soxaholix quote ("aging thugs who really believe they are on some higher plane of existence, but in the end can't produce") coming the day after Jeter wins the Hank Aaron award. (Before you diss the award, think about who else has won it.)

Classic Soxaholix!

Wait a second, Billy, I thought the Yankees party line was "we are NOT about individual honors; we are only about winning pennants?"

Guess not so much now, eh?

So, yeah, go treat yourself to a fish biscuit in honor of Jetes.

No nerves touched here, funny guy.

At least you recognize the futility of watching "Lost," and your sad little baseball club.

Individual honors? Oh, we accept them humbly, but we don't campaign for them.

Eh, what? I'm not actually part of the Yankees organization, so my touting an individual award to point out that, well, it looks like the aging thug Jeter actually sort of produces doesn't really change the meaningfulness of the Yankees' party line.

hey Billy- check this out and tell me Jeter deserves it..

http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/

Wow, I was mislead by this: "According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Jeter became just the fifth player in the past 75 seasons to hit .340 or higher, drive in at least 90 runs and steal 30 or more bases in the same season. The others were Larry Walker (1997), Ellis Burks (1996), Willie Mays (1958) and Jackie Robinson (1949)."

That blog set me straight though. Not only did he not deserve the award, he didn't produce at all last season!

Three words to cure those who are lamenting Lost's sudden fall from the pinnacle of TV.

The Adama Maneuver
Damn skippy.

And the yankers trolls are always funny. "Oh yeah, well well - YOUR STOOPID!"

Fish biscuits for everyone!

h.b. tsk, tsk, tsk. Slipping backward again, I see. This 'connection' you are attempting to describe, through the thin veil of your characters, between the Othas and the Yankees is a ridiculous stretch.

As usual, these comments say more about SAWX fans than they do about the NY Yankees. I'd call going to the post season 11 straight years 'producing'. have they always been ULTIMATELY successful? No. Are they a successful organization? Absolutely.

I always enjoy your 'Lost' commentary. However, this week, I believe we are looking at a case where your commentary is plain ol' lost.

P.S. Season 3 has been superb.

Oh, boy, another Yankee troll...

At least we have a sense of humor, unlike the myshitdontstink Yankee fan.

See Link

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2637244


lc

ho ho ho

I love all the Yankees fan contortions and explanations. It's like watching a game of Twister.

I also love the arguing with comic strip characters.

Look, dudes, the fucking purpose of this site is to have fun, often that fun comes at the Yankees expense.

It's not accurate. Hell, often in the strips there is a little rhetorical device known as hyperbole and another known as sarcasm being employed.

I'm sure you've heard of both, of course, being how smart you all are. (Hint: that last sentence was an example of sarcasm.)

So, really, lighten the fuck up and take a look around at the set and setting.

But if you insist on coming over here to prove that we are wrong and you are right regarding some throwaway laugh line in the strip, by all means continue to knock yourselves out.

I enjoy the show.

Sorry, forgot about the ".340/90/30 Club". Anytime you're on a list w/Ellis Burkes and Larry Walker it's pretty cool.

I agree BB, season 3 has been superb.

But for the umpteenth fucking time, I don't always agree with what any given character says or thinks in any panel. It's not "me" speaking.

Seriously, I really shouldn't have to explain this.

For fuck's sake, how did any of you twats ever pass English 101 in college?

"For fuck's sake, how did any of you twats ever pass English 101 in college?"

hb, hb. Don't you know? Because of their advanced intellects and 26 rings, they didn't HAVE to take the course. They were of the impressions they should be TEACHING it. (I believe Mystique and Aura were the TA's for the class. or was that T&A's? ahem...)

Jesuz Mohammed! Would you (Bronx) bums stop being such a buzzkill? Wah, wah, wahhhh! Go start your own Skankaholix site or something.

Sarcasm, twats, "it's the characters!"... once again h.b. hides behind walls.

Smartypants, it seems to me you're the one who's taking it all too seriously.

And what makes you think I passed English 101?

Billy, I'd really spend more of your energy going after someone like Stephen King. You ever read his stories? The guy is depraved and, let's face it, there's no way, no fucking way he could ever write about vampires unless he was one himself.

Man, that's scary. Hold me.

Nice, now that made me laugh.

I'll admit, I'm just bummed because I thought the strip today was going to be all about how awesome it was that Jeter won the award. I guess I'll have to save that for the Skankaholix.

King's "'Salem's Lot" was damn near the scariest thing I ever read. I read it in the middle of the day sitting in an airport during an interminably long layover. Damn book scared the crap out of me. More than once I had to set it down for a while to reduce my heart rate ala Sawyer. I kept looking around at everyone else in the terminal trying to figure out who was from NH.

Billy - take your Hank Aaron award and shove it up your nose (assuming you can pull it out of Jeter's.) You are an asshat; boring and completely predictable.

Now this is the Soxaholix I know and love.Our Yankee foils have been far too quiet lately :))

Salem's Lot also scared the crap out of me. I read it in 7th grade which was probably a big mistake. I mean I went many nights scared out of my wits in my bedroom, thinking every branch scratching on the window was actually one of the hotties from 7th grade turned vampire and wanting me to let her in for a suckle. And, of course, how could I resist considering that the non-vampire hotties barely knew I existed.

It didn't help that, like many of you, I grew up not too far at all from where the fictitious Salem's Lot was located and had traversed those roads many times on day trips with my family.

True story, a day or so after reading Salem's Lot, I was in school, 7th grade, sitting at my desk when over the intercom the secretary from the principal's office came on with, "Miss Marsten, Miss Marsten, please come to the office. Miss Marsten."

I nearly pissed in my pants. (In case you don't know or remember it was The Marsten House in Salem's Lot where vampire 0 started the whole thing.)

There was a blurb on the news this morning about Stephen King in the process of writing a "romantic" novel. Yeah right! and monkeys are gonna fly out of my butt.

I always thought "The Shining" was very romantic.

HB - Your prescience exceeds even that of our Scottish friend, Desmond. Most of the 7th grade hotties did turn out to be blood-suckers. At least that was my experience... :D

ahhh hb...I like it when he has his "Maureen Dowd" moments and stirs shit up for the express purpose of attracting Yankees fans.

Salem's Lot...scary. This time of year I also like to re-read Poe. Particularly how he works you over with suspense as the narrator shits his pants in "Tell Tale Heart."

Now that I think about it Rob,Shelly Duvall bears more than a little resemblance to our Lisa. What do you think lc?

Hmm. Rich, you may be on to something here. The only wood shrinker there is that every time I think of Shelly Duval, I get a picture of her as Olive Oyl in that damnable "Popeye" movie with Robin Williams. I drop my salute every time I think of it.

Come to mention it, has Williams done anything worth watching since his filmed stand-up gigs of 10-20 years ago? My how far the mighty have fallen. Kinda makes him the Yankees of comedy, no? Or maybe the Skank's are the Robin Williams of beisbol.

The more I think about it, I refuse to put Duval in the same thought-sentence with Lisa. Louses up my three-way fantasy with Megan the Vegan.

I liked Williams quite a bit in that movie where he played the weird photo developer guy, was that One Hour Photo?

I guess... He actually was pretty good in Good Will Hunting too. But they pale in comparison to "RV" or "Man of the Year", etc.

I guess "1 Hour Photo" equates to the Yanks winning the '05 ALDS after the humiliation of '04. Too few people saw it. Too few people cared.

FWIW, the scariest King novel to me was Pet Sematary.....nooooo happy ending at all. "Rachel's voice was grating, full of dirt, 'Darling,' she said"
But, The Stand was the best.
h.b., it's a pity your brand of humor flies over the heads of our friends from Da Bronx and, as you say, it shouldn;t need to be explained, but, it livens up this dreary nethertime of the postseason

Rob in CT - it's not too tough to take criticism from someone who fantasizes about having sex with animated characters.

I actually went to school with Stephen's son Joe. And no I'm not jo-king.

My favorites are the Bachman Books.

King and Poe are excellent, but I am partial to Lovecraft myself. Great stuff today as usual.

"But, The Stand was the best."

No doubt about it. Not the scariest, but definitely the best read of them all. Either that or I just read it at a very impressionable time in my life (high school). Kinda cool that I was living in Denver at the time. King referred to a lot of places that I knew of and could easily picture in my mind in the midst of the action. Made it very real to me.

More real than polar bears driving subs anyway.

By the bye, anyone else of the opinion that Juliet REALLY needs to get laid?

LOL, Billy. Kinda cool that you went to school with his son. Regular guy, or was he pretty f'd up?

What makes me the writer I am is that I have the heart of a child -- locked in my desk drawer... (or words to that effect) - Stephen King.

It's very funny to me that so many Yanks fans bother to regularly read Soxaholix. And then to comment. As if to point out some flaw in our fandom that will make us...what? change our minds? To take something that is fun and get so touchy. Or maybe it is as it appears and they have not been trained to understand the different literary devices used herein. IMO they might benefit from reading a little Stephen King. Might I recommend Different Seasons. oh and hb...I loved the clap-clap-clap. sooo funny.

Weird Stephen King connections on this board. Billy went to school with the dude's son, and I mowed his lawn during my college summers up at UMaine. (Yes, the man's house is every bit as freaky as you'd think it would be. Stone gargoyles everywhere, turrets, etc.)

King may be the current King of Horror, but the true O.G. is Providence, RI's own H.P. Lovecraft. Cthulhu fhtagn, Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

I flew from Los Angeles back to Boston sitting right next to Stephen King. I was reading one of his books at the time. I never said a word to him or he to me. But when we were waiting for our luggage, I asked him to sign the book.

He refused. I said, "cool, whatever." Then he signed it.

Rob in CT - yeah, he seemed pretty normal, but very quiet and introverted. He had a few close friends and that was it. I hardly knew him but was on a "hello" basis with him for awhile. He wore all black, had a cool look.

Who knew that Yanks and Sox fans could share so much interest in horror (or maybe that makes sense). I love Poe and Lovecraft as well. Some of the images that Lovecraft has put in my head will never go away.

jen in HI - Yeah, I love Different Seasons too. I've read it at least twice. It's been awhile. That's some great writing.

Oh, and, I always heard he was a good fiction writer (non-horror) in school.

Now he's definitely in the fantasy/horror biz: http://joehillfiction.com/

Stand was definitely the best single book, but the entire gunslinger series was incredible. Even if it did take umpteen years to write! King romance novel, I dunno. Wouldn't someone have to die from mysterious causes?

I think SK could write a good romance novel. His novella "The Body" (made into "Stand By Me") was a really nice tribute to great friendship and really had very little to do with a body.

I like The Stand a lot as well, but recently I've been coming to think of Insomnia as one of his classics. I've avoided early King for some reason...probably because I hate unhappy endings...

...why did I become a Sox fan again? (only 2 years removed, I know, I know)

I always have thought SK was a hack.

lc

I'm suprised no one has mentioned the Dark Tower series as being one of Kings best works. Once you get past the Tolkein wannabe feel of the first book, the series really takes off into some interesting territory. Pet Semetary scared the hell out of me as well...though not as much as the very real End Of Days premise of The Stand.
I'm also a little surprised that no one mentioned the reference to Pulp Fiction during the massive-needle-penetrating-Saywer's-flimsy-breastbone scene...or the fact that there are now two islands involved in this mess...the sub driving polar bear must make the rounds between the two. Hell, he managed to get a fishbuiscuit faster than Sawyer...following the convoluted logic of the show, he must be capable of driving the taxi sub during the day and spending his nights Wampa'ing it up with Echo Adabisi.

Best airplane flight story I've got:

I was upgraded to a 1st class seat on a flight from Denver a couple years ago, and sat next to this guy who was clearly pretty buzzed. Oh great. After we got up to cruising altitude, he starts ordering up drinks fast and furious. After 2-3 pops he strikes up a conversation. He's bragging about his house in CA, his cars, blah, blah. I'm like, yeah, great for you, dude.

After going on for a while he gets around to giving me his name, "Kevin, Kevin Eastman", like I am supposed to know it. I've got a pad of paper for notes on a contract I'm reviewing on seat tray, so he asks me if he can borrow it. Pulls a charcoal pencil out of his jacket pocket (wtf?) and starts doodling. Passes me back the pad, and there's a signed picture of a teenage mutant ninja turtle. Holy Shit!

My boy was a HUGE TMNT fan, had all the character toys, etc. We talk and he's telling me all about how much in love he is with his wife, Julie Strain. Have I heard of her? Nope, but good on ya for being happy together. We continue to chat, he's buying the drinks, and we had a very pleasant flight together.

Next day at the office I'm telling this story and we look up Julie Strain on Google. Porn Star! Wound up getting in trouble with the Web Gestapo. Thank goodness my boss was in on the conversation. He bailed me out.

My son still has that sketch framed in his apartment.

I sat next to a booze-saturated Rick Middleton (Tricky Rick of the 80's Bruins and current NESN studio "analyst")on a flight to Orlando when I was a kid. He was nice enough, when he wasn't snoring. He signed a napkin for me, which I used to wipe his sleep-drool from my right arm.

lou..I think that the love of Stephen King comes from his ability to write for the everyman. It's not like he's David Foster Wallace or anything.

Couple of Lost observations:

1) We do not, in fact, know what where Sawyer, Jack, and Kate are being held is an island. We only know it overlooks another island.

2) We do not know if Benry was really telling the truth when pointed to the island in the distance and told Sawyer that was Sawyer's "home."

3) The Others Village at Wysteria Lane seen in the first episode of Season 3 doesn't appear to be located on the same piece of land where Benry and the cages etc are currently located. The crashing 815 jumbojet was much closer to the village. It was implied as well that two Others sent to "infiltrate" the Lostaways could get there "in an hour" and they split on foot in opposite directions. Yeah, maybe there are two submarines, but even then, an hour seems unlikely. (Not that anything in Lost needs make sense, though.)

Ah, the baggage claim line at the airport: the great equalizer of men.

I had always thought that SK's appeal came from the tremendous yarns he spins, as well as from his excellent grasp of psychology: his characters behave very believably in very unbelievable circumstances. He's a fun, wet read. But, as louclinton has said, he's often kind of a hack.

I once peed next to Chuck Colson in the Atlanta airport.

lc

Chuck Colson. Now there's a blast from the past. You should have peed ON him.

I have the BEST urination story. I peed on Franco Harris's shoes outside O'Brien's in New Orleans a few days before the Pats-Packers Super Bowl.


And yes, he was wearing them at the time.

I peed next to Vernon Reid of the band Living Color at Great Tweeter Woods in '97.

I'm not sure if I agree with the hack sentiment. You ever read any of the stuff the literati (NYT Book Review etc) put forth as the "best and brightest" new works in literature? For the most part the stuff is unreadable dreck. Rarely do you find anyone in that crowd who can tell a story.

I think people will still read Stephen King and John Grisham 25 years from now, maybe 50 and beyond in the case of King. Meanwhile the people getting churned out of MFA programs and writer's workshops and getting their stamps of approval from self-anointed gatekeepers of the the literary canon will be long forgotten.

I guess it's the nature of art criticism that anything popular must also mean it's bad. This seems more pronounced, though, with books than with music or film.

Writers of detective fiction, fantasy fiction, western fiction, sci-fi fiction and the horror genre are never ever given much respect, but, I personally think that in that group are the best writers of our age.

Bringing it back to the Red Sox - I met Nomar in line at the Wendy's in Perimeter Mall in Atlanta - winter after his rookie season IIRC. Must have been back visiting his GA Tech buddies or something. He was wearing a Red Sox hat and jacket, and I appeared to be the only person in the mall that had a clue who he was.

Didn't pee or spill anything on him though.

I liked Grisham for a short time, and then found all his stuff formulaic. I liked "Time to Kill" best.

I really have enjoyed Chuck Palahniuk, who wrote "Fight Club," and thought "The Diary" was the best.

King 25 years from now, for sure. Grisham...errr....not so much.

I refer to King as a hack entirely in regards to the quality of his language. I love King. The Stand is a blast, "It" is wonderful ("We all float down here!"), The Dark Tower, The Bachman Books, Different Seasons, his various short story collections, The Shining...his reads are tremendous. I would totally agree that King is vastly underrated by the snobs a la ivory tower. But it's hard to say that he's really a great master of the language. It's in that that his hackiness lies.

I tend with literature more towards your take with history, HB: we really won't have it boiled down for rather some time.

I always thought of King as being along the lines of Mark Twain. The fact that he is primarily a horror/supernatural writer should be secondary, but unfortunately it never will. Its a shame because he is a very gifted writer and his love of the craft really shows. He cares more about the tradition and practice of story telling than he does about his critical reception by the "self-anointed gatekeepers of the literary canon" (great phrase btw). I think he is assumed to be bad by the gatekeepers because of his subject matter more than by his popularity though. As you say, genre writers are never given much respect by those of the upturned-nose ilk.

I respect your opinion, h.b.

SK is just not for me. I have read only a few of his novels, read his book "On Writing", and his little league baseball stories in the New Yorker. (Odd that, to the best of my knowledge, he never sold a piece of fiction to the New Yorker). Like all the rest of us, I received on Christmas '04 three copies of his '04 RS Book, which was basically a bunch of emails slapped together. Of course, I ate that shit up.

Give me "Elements of Style" by Strunk and White anytime. That mofo was a hoot.

lc

One of my favorite EB White quotes:

"The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war. "


lc

Good points, all. Grisham has definitely waned. I should have given a better example. At one time, it seemed Grisham had "the great American novel" capability in him, but not so much now.

Probably King wasn't the best example either.

A better example comes from the world of poetry is Charles Bukowksi. When he first hit the scene most of the literati and critics dismissed him out of hand. But a few folks (including Sartre of all people) saw immediately that he'd go on to be one of the most influential poets in any language ever. And so he has. To this day, though, he's only grudgingly accepted, and usually with lots of caveats, by the academics.

The thing that makes Bukowski so great, and this is what I was trying to get at with the King bit earlier, is his work is immediately accessible to everyone. His language, too, is often brutal, raw, unadorned, indeed, simplistic.

Ah, Strunk & White. A brilliant hoot indeed. And the "peeing near famous people" stories are totally cracking me up. My only brushes with celebrity have been fairly lame. Sold Girl Scout Cookies to Judith Light-1979. Jim Neighbors- used to water his house plants (1995-96).

Good news story of the year especially if you're a Dilbert fan.

"Jim Neighbors- used to water his house plants (1995-96)"

Well, gooooolllllllllyyyyyyyy! :-D

Holy Cow, hb...That is an amazing story. Thanks for passing that along. wow. rob...you wouldn't believe how many of those Red Skelton clown paintings he's got. creepy. (LOL)

I'm still trying to get that image of Olive Oyl out of my head :(((

Sat next to John Gruden's brother on a plane once. He's an Arena Football League coach, and he was doing a crossword with the gal in the seat in front of him (she was flirting terribly). He comes to a three-letter word for "football scores", and he was given T_S. He and the girl are totally stumped and I'm chuckling about it, and I finally let him off the hook and tell him it's "TDs". He says "Thanks ... pissant".

I grew up with James Van Der Beek. (okay, not that exciting)

and I coach youth baseball, and every years someone noteworthy walks in our parade. this year it was Papelbon and Delcarmen. Had a chat with Jonathan. Got a couple of pictures with him and my team.

That is the extent of my brush with fame.

Wow. Sox/Yanks, polar bears in submarines, Stephen King, Olive Oyl, urination, brushes with fame...

This is the best forum ever! :D

Where would we be without you, hb?

A little late to chime in again on King, maybe, BUT...

My problem with King (despite reading a couple dozen books of his, I'd say, so he must be doing something right) is that there's often great, great build-up and tremendous suspense...and then the ending comes and spoils it. I mean, maybe half the time, maybe more, I feel all "THAT'S what you brought me here to see."

*spoilers, though trying not to be too spoily*

IT (a wonderful book otherwise, I think) sort of loses some of its power when its (ITS?) final form is revealed--this applies to both the monster IT, which is a good thing literarily, and the book IT, which is not. I don't know how he could have made it work better. Maybe make the final form not quite so lame, so that it still boils to one thing, but is a little more scary. But I love the symbol they all see on the door near the end and how it means a different thing for each of them. Admittedly echoing the power of the monster itself, but still a good concept.

But anyway, yeah, I think that happens a lot in his books. It's been a frustration of mine for years. I feel he's a very good writer, but that perhaps his problem with endings (as I see it) keeps him from being a great writer.

A little late with the "brushes of fame" stuff but here we go:

My band opened up for Sonic Youth in 1986 at the Anthrax in Norwalk, CT. Conversed with band before and after show - all nice people.

Drove Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore (of SY) from New London, CT to Thurston's mom's house in Bethel, CT (literally from the SE part of the state to the western part near Danbury) after a SY gig in New London about 8 years later. Still nice guys.

Met Pete Shelley (Buzzcocks) in a Tower Records in NYC in 1985. Interviewed him and fellow 'Cocks guitarist Steve Diggle for my fanzine 10 years later.

Bands that have stayed overnight at my apartment/house: Lisa (Suckdog) Carver, Pansy Division, Tar, Government Issue.

Meeting Michael Stipe and Mike Mills (R.E.M.) at the 40 Watt Club in Athens, GA (at Gang of Four and Robert Pollard shows, respectively)

Having an interview I did with Sebadoh posted online at their website.

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