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Hey now, don't that make you feel a whole lot better?

Doug:
You know what's one  of the greatest things about being us? If the Red Sox entah the realm of crapitude, as they did this past season, we only need wait for the Pats to pick us right back up.

 

Bill:
Seriously, aftah that performance last night I'm happiah than Randy Johnson withholding a child support check.

 

 

Bill:
That 6 pass, 94-yadd drive to staht the game was the best thing I've seen since the days of the Bloody Sock.

 

Doug:
Watching Brady move the ball like that is like watching porn. You know it's going to end with a money shot in the endzone, but you're mesmerized by the rhythmic, all business action like you're seeing it for the first time in your life.

 

Bill:
What an offensive explosion. 430 yahds and 25 first downs. Mercy.

 


Bill:
They're here. They're austere. Get used to it.

 


Comments

Wow. Just wow. That was the best I've seen the Patriots play in some time. Could it really be that they're performing another midseason come-together routine (just to stay in the porn realm)?

BTW, I'm a season ticket holder with a dilemna. My best buddy is having a baby shower for his wife. (BTW, since when did this evil busness of husbands throwing baby showers start? It's just plain sick.) Anyway, it's this Sunday evening. Naturally.

So...H.B., you want two tickets to Pats/Colts at face value? You have first chance at them.

Incidentally, the last time my buddy had to ditch a game for a wifey-thing?

A little game called the Snow Bowl.

But this time, I'll be with him instead of in Foxboro. I sure hope his child is a masculine child.


I thought the spouse throwing the baby shower was a huge etiquette no-no? After all, since he personally benefits from the gifts received, he is in effect throwing the shower for himself. Maybe you can get a ruling from Ms Manners and use that as your excuse to not attend the shower. After all, the civilized Sox fan can't be party to an egregious violation of etiquette. Much better that you attend the Pats game and keep your soul clean.

Oh, I agree 100% COD. But this certainly isn't the first "husband-sponsored" baby shower I've heard of. It's catching on from what I've witnessed.

It's just plain revolting.

But he's my best friend in the world, and as even Lou Clinton can attest, that means a lot.

I myself am indifferent to football. But I respect those for whom it is their weekly sacrament. And so, Bob, your friend is asking too much of you. WAY too much of you. To miss a game against the most hated? For a BABY shower? For MEN? You're not the same Bob with bitch tits, are you? "We're still men. Men is what we are" and all. Somehow, I think that deep down, your friend wouldn't respect you if ditched the game for a shindig that included a Diaper Genie.

Bob,

Oh, man, thanks so much for that generous offer, but I just can't do it as much as I'd like to due to previously made plans.

Having to say, no thanks, to this is like being at the mythical "Star Date" bar and having ChipSix and Kara from Orgellius II approach you for some complimentary attention in the VIP room and having to say, "Sorry, gotta run."

Worse even.

BTW Bob, I admire your loyalty to your friend. But, man, he's owes you big time.

...Bob: would a best friend really want you to miss this game? Really? I suppose it is possible. It'll probably be tough in the trenches there. Seriously. I hope he's plying you with liquor and a free ride home.

This trend you speak of reflects the further Hallmarkization of our culture: we have husband-sponsored baby-showers. It's bizarre, the strange social pressure that comes with newly invented holidays and events.

HB...worse even is right. It's more like having the power go out in your holodeck harem with, oh well, insert your alien female of chice here.

I think you are all missing the point. No, my buddy wouldn't want me to miss the game. He's told me as much.

BUT...

His wife would love me forever if I attend.

My buddy adores his wife. Get it?

My friends mean everything to me. Yes, even more than the Patriots do.

The Red Sox? That's another story.

All that said, I DO appreciate your honest opinions. And while I could easily give these tix to any number of friends, they all get to go to games during the year anyway.

So...

First one to send me their address to my personal email gets two Pats/Colts tickets at face value ($178 total).

My one caveat: as you know, the Krafts have seriously cracked down on hooliganism. Or even the occasional curse. And definitely against blatant drunkeness. So whoever gets the tix must promise with that if they do anything to have my season tickets tacken away, they will jump off the observation deck at the Pru.

Oh, and pay me $100,000.

I think Bob's gesture, both in putting his friends first and in offering the tix to Soxaholix readers first, is creating some really awesome karma for the future.

And at face value, no less. That's serious karma generation.

Bob, I'd do the same thing. My tongue was pretty firmly planted in my cheek, just a little ball busting. You do have balls, right? No no no, just kidding. Plus, your buddy's going to be a dad...as a relatively new father myself, I can say that any and all celebrations around that event are rather beyond memorable, and your participation is something that I'm sure you didn't question for a moment.

The hallmarkization of our culture is real, though, and creepy. I found out this year that there's a Boss's day. What, we're celebrating the Man now, too, with cards and cake?

Ah, Carl Monday. Since I'm way behind in watching The Daily Show, I just saw the story they did on him last night, as coincidence would have it. They did it just right, too. Deadspin did a great job staying on that story.

Bob, nice job standing by your friend.

Boss's Day? Seriously? That's not an episode of The Office? (It will be now, I'm sure.)

"Hooray for not firing me!"

Speaking of holidays, isn't it weird (it is to me at least) how Halloween has gone from a kids thing to now a kids thing AND and adult thing with the adult thing seeming to take precedent such that Halloween is now 2nd only to Christmas in spending?

Count me among those who don't get it. I was into Halloween when I was like 6, but as and adult, the concept and what goes with it (e.g., costumes) doesn't much interest me.

Maybe I'm missing something?

Tickets are gone, folks. Buckner snagged them by literally 30 seconds over a couple of other people. (It's nice to see Buckner actually snag something instead of letting it go through his...not gonna say it.)

HB, I think that masks and costumes in general have a way of allowing people to break down certain inhibitions. So some people take it as "dress-like-a-slut" day and others take it to look like the whatever-du-jour (Napoleon Dynamite, Monica Lewinski, etc.) Others still actually go for genuine scare factor or real alter-ego creation, which I think is pretty cool in its own right. I've personally scared rather a few people on Halloween, and when you see genuine fright on the other side of the mask eye-holes, it's pretty gratifying. I think it is for those scared, as well. It can be a creative event, done right. We don't have masked balls so much anymore, but Halloween I think appeals to whatever drives our interest in the carnivalesque and the macabre. Often it can be pretty empty, but it can also be genuinely creative entertainment, laughs, frights...almost a particapatory theater.

h.b., when else does an adult get to dress up as, say, Underdog? Plus, going to a Halloween party that is also attended by a woman who decided to dress up as a naughty nurse is just plain excellent. I'm all for any holiday where that's acceptable behavior.

Some people at work are dressed up today. I'm not. I just tell people I'm dressed as Ron Jeremy.


Doh...well, Bob...that's what I get for not reading to the bottom of the comments first.

Anyone else have Pats tickets available?? I have scheduled my PhD defense for December 4th, so any time after that would be great! I've been to 1 NFL game in my entire life and it was as a volunteer concessioner in the first year of the new Ravens Stadium (profits from beer sales went to the Knights of Columbus...all they had to do was staff the counter). I got to see the end of the 4th quarter live. :p

8 home games a year sucks.

Halloween is the only holiday that isn't all about somebody else. Christmas is all Jesus, or Santa and gift giving. Either way, it's about somebody else. Easter - somebody else. Thanksgiving - giving thanks to somebody else. Valentine's - somebody else.

Halloween is the only holiday where you don't owe somebody something.

Plus slutty nurse outfits are always good too.

I've always looked at Thanksgiving as the the one where you don't really have to do much. Yeah, you give thanks, but, no presents, no stress, just lots of eating and watching football.

4th of July, too, is easy.

Halloween seems like too much work for me. I have enough trouble just assuming my regular persona each day without finding and costuming a new one for one night of the year.

hb- I tend to agree with you about Halloween being too much work, although I confess I am a bit envious of those whose creativity allows them to get into it more than I. And, fwiw, I think assuming six or seven personae each day as you do already would leave anyone a little tapped out....

And on another front- RIP Red. It's impossible to be a sports fan in this town and not feel your monumental influence. This Cusano's for you....

//I've always looked at Thanksgiving as the one where you don't really have to do much. Yeah, you give thanks, but, no presents, no stress, just lots of eating and watching football.//

I'm starting to think that "Lisa the Temp"s inner rage stems from h.b.'s subconscious awarement of the deep-seated hatred his wife must have for an attitude like that... :)

I can hear her reading today's comments right now...

"Don't have to do much!? No stress?! Hey, buster, let me tell you where all that 'just eating' comes from! And your family is tearing up my house again! Stop watching football and wash all these dishes, Mr. No Stress!"

Hahaha...

Yeah, HB...Buckner has it right. Every day is Halloween for you. Your masks are Doug, Lisa, Bill...aaaarrgghh!! Marty! Even you don a scary mask from time to time.

Actually, I'm quite the "foodie" (though I hate that term) and wannabe chef. I prepare probably 70% of the holiday meal and, in general, 50% of the meals we consume at home during the year.

Pretty good husband/wife teamwork, really. We each have a particular strengths and things we like to cook that balance each other out.

One of the areas I like are winter veggies (squash, parsnips, etc), soups, and breads, so that's why I end up with a bit more of the holiday meal.

As it goes, my wife is much better with the typically macho role of cooking meats. So she gets the turkey.


:)

I wish I would have thought to have the characters in costume today and make you figure out who is whom.

Next time!

Mulroney? Dillson?

Please tell me you copied and pasted that from another, less informed location, hb...

Thanksgiving, if you succumb to the pressure to assemble with extended family, becomes very stressful in a hurry. We traveled home this year at Easter, partly to avoid the pressure to be home for T-day or Christmas.

Just as long as MTV is Catwoman and Lisa is Elvira

Mulroney? Dillson?

Please tell me you copied and pasted that from another, less informed location, hb...

Jeez, you think? Hmmm, on the interwebs there is this little thing called a "hyperlink" and, what ho, what a coincidence, the list of names is itself a link!!!

Alas, if you take said link (by clicking on the colored text with your mouse) your question will be answered (unless the Globe fixes it in their online edition first.)

Just busting your nuts. :) Honestly, I didn't even reread it and did just copy/paste, but, it's a classic Globe mistake these days isn't it?

Fixed and thanks for pointing it out.

You should write the Globe on the error, too.

H.B., is that a shout to B52's "Dance this mess around"? Love that one.

The only shower I wanna be in w/a woman is the kind where we're both naked and really "dirty".

I kill any "friend" who asked me to go to a womans event.

Ah-Hippy Hippy forward Hippy Hippy
Hippy Shake, Hippy Shake

Do the Aqua-velva
Do the Dirty Dog
Do the Escalator
It's time to do 'em right!

hb, if you need a little inspiration for how to dress up Lisa and Circle (for some reason I see Tara as a bit too serious for Halloween dress up) just watch this.
http://tinyurl.com/tzw6b
Happy Halloween Soxaholix!!

It's SFW though there is some swearing at the end. Does that generally mean it is NSFW? Really, I don't know.

H.B., you ever cook celery root and potatoes for a great mash?

would that be a monster mash? (sorry)

"I have enough trouble just assuming my regular persona each day without finding and costuming a new one for one night of the year. "


Um, H.B., maybe if you assume the persona of an entire of office full of assorted characters who love the red sox, plus a hot dog vendor and a sleazoid yankee lover on a daily basis then you don't need to express yourself with costumes ? Seems like you have absolutely no trouble assuming more than one persona.

//would that be a monster mash?//

Uh, those tickets aren't in the mail yet you know... :)

neither's the check ;-)

Glad to see this is still going to run along through the offseason. My first season following the site, and I just kinda figured it would die off until next season. Good work, h.b.

Now as much as I'm a cowboys fan, I do enjoy the Pats. Right now i'm just hoping Tony Romo becomes half the QB Brady is.

Evan, Romo IS half the QB Brady is.

Unfortunately, he always will be.

:)))

UNcalled for bob! ;)

//Bring on the slit eyed hillbilly with the ginormous helmet.//

laughing...so hard...can't...breathe...

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