I no longah have any words to describe Big Papi. He's entered some super semiotic realm that exists beyond mere signifiahs and their measly signified.
Are you kidding me, Papi dwells in the ancient ethah before light and dark were separated. He's the fucking Big Bang, cosmic launchah of the universe.
You know I was feeling all mopey yesterday, all feeling like Lindsay Blohan after a 3 day coke binge over the Abreu to the Yankees news …
But then David Ortiz knocked the skanky feeling right out of me.
Yeah, it's worth remembering: David Ortiz has fahts with more powah than Bobby Abreu.