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If I hear that 'Had a bad Day' song one more time today, I'll pull a Tavarez

Sometimes you just have to take your beat downs …

Marty:
Ah, nothing quite like being disgraced in a nationally televised game is there Billy boy?

 

Bill:
Yeah, you'd know best, Mahty, seeing how you've seen your share of that the past half dozen years or so, eh?

 

Marty:
Thing is Callaghan, while your team and fans seem content to cling to one infinitesimal blip in history, and seem perfectly willing to slide back into your "wait until next year" submissiveness, the Yanks are out there making things happen.

 

Bill:
Is that so, Mahty?

 

Marty:
You know it, Billy. You're whole sham is perfectly symbolized by the world's worst actor cum world's most famous Red Sox fan Ben Affleck pulling back like a sissy in his box seats letting the Angels' first baseman just reach in unchallenged to snag a foul out. You wouldn't see that from Yanks fans at The Stadium.

 

Bill:
-------?!?!

 

Unknown Yankees fan:
Face the music. You guys just have no fight, no, how you say it, "desiah."

 

Unknown Yankees fan:
And fercrissakes can we finally put to rest any claims that Theo Epstein is a better GM than Cashman?

 

Bill:
Don't you mean "cash" sans man?

 

Unknown Yankees fan:
How predictable. Always the money, always the "pity us we were outspent" sorry-assed whine. But the truth is while your Boy Wonder had his hands on his guitar neck worrying about his next rock and roll benefit and is going around whimpering how this is a bad year for trades, my man Cashman goes out and gets Abreu and Lidle for a steal.

 

Bill:
Hey, we got Bryan Corey.

 

Unknown Yankees fan:
Heh heh. Glad to see you've still got a sense of humor about your sinking Sawx ship, Bill. That'll come in handy come September when you finally hit bottom.

 

Unknown Yankees fan:
Oh, and you did see that Johnny Damon went upper deck twice yesterday, right, Bill? Bill?

 

For the rest of the day …

Bill:
Grrrrrr…

 

Comments

Went to bed when it was 6-1. Best extra 2 hours sleep of the year.

As for MFAbreu and Lidle, the fact that all the Yanx had to give up was 4 single A prospects finally determines that there is NO next year for the yanx.

Good luck, bro.

lc

I always hated the American Idol song too until I saw this http://www.google.com/url?sa=U&start=2&q=http://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DBYgpA8ZQ0UU%26search%3D&e=9797

The worst part is, the yanks fans are getting energized and flipping me sh*t every day now.

Keep the Faith (Inshallah)

I knew...absolutely knew fucking Marty would show up! Papi's big clutch hit, and the big eunuch/MFY being stomped by TB worked to keep him off the phone for an entire 36 hours. Pretty much like my MFY fan co-workers...awful quiet for long spells this year.

Actually, as lame as Theo's trade seems, the most glaring shortage on these '06 Sox is middle relief (aside from starting pitching which everyone is lacking). I just hope Theo shows the wisdom/restraint he has in the past. 7 hours and counting...

HB...it must suck having Marty living inside your brain: betrayal by homunculus.

BRAVE Schill! by death delivered, take thy flight
From Prussia's timid region. Go, and rest
With heroes, 'mid the islands of the Blest,
Or in the fields of empyrean light......

....until your next start.

(Thanks to Wordsworth for the assist.)

I was in Damon's upper deck yesterday. But the worst part of the day was probably when I got hit by the puke of the young girl behind me. Yes friends, I have been puked on at Yankee Stadium. This is going to be a low self-esteem day for me.

Also A-rod got booed thrice by his classy fans.

Oh, forgot to mention the link "gets Abreu and Lidle for a steal" to Sporting Brews blog came by way of Dave Pinto as Baseball Musings.

Maybe I'm crazy, and maybe Abreu will turn his season around and become the catalyst the Skankees need, but, uh...

If you told me a week ago that the Skanks BIG, HUGE, AMAZING trade would involve getting a guy hitting .275 with 8 HRs, I think I'd smile.

HB - I think Mahty's an asshole too. Any chance you'll add a Yankee fan who doesn't exist mainly to reinforce the lowest prejudices of the Nation? Sure, 1% of the time he's not the biggest asshole on earth, but only about 1% of the time.

Yes, have been wanting to introduce another character within the office who is a Yankees fan and who is less of an a-hole.

// another character within the office who is a Yankees fan and who is less of an a-hole//

h.b., you are a genius, but that seems an impossible task.

A Yankees fan who is less of an asshole, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Mahty are all sitting around a table and a $100 bill is in the center.

The lights go out and when they come back on, the money is gone. Who took it?
.
.
.
.
.
Mahty. The other 3 are figments of your imagination.

There are some decent Yanks fans out there. Oh, they still may infuriate me at times with their smugness, but they are at least decent people.

Alex and Cliff who do BronxBanter come to mind.

h.b., just tell me that whatever year the Yanks finally lose the division to the Sox, Marty will get his lumps. Please tell me it shall be so.

It's nothing personal, Oy!, Jason, and Dave, just a matter of having Yankees fans like that in my life and wanting them to get the severe dressing down they have earned. I'm friends with some decent Yankee fans, but man, those jerks...

Who is Van Buren? Why is he pitching for the Red Sox? Could he have done any worse? Put him on the same train out of town with bat-shit Taverez and Seanez.

I knew ESPN was going to jinx Shil's perfect home record since they mentioned it approx. 4,296 times.

I hate those guys.

Fatman on the mound tonight. Any odds on him making it pass the 4th inning?

Against the Indians he'll probably throw a no hitter just to mess up everyones heads

FWIW, I was at Citizen's Park (what a gorgeous place, too) in May to see Sox-Phils, and the consensus of the Philly fans around us was that Abreu is a total fraud, a bigger dog than Manny can be, and they couldn't wait to get rid of him... 'course that was before Mystique and Aura do the lap dance on him

You're too kind Devine...I guess I sort of thought that 2004 was dressing down enough.

But yeah, any Yankee fan who puts real stock in winning the division (certainly in this Wild Card era) will merit a big helping of humble pie.

The ESP Network was in full swing, wasn't it, Scott?

Bottom of the first...for whatever reason they start discussing the Angels being prone to errors and how the Red Sox are not...bing, error on the throw...bing, stupid play by the pitcher.

Later in the top of the third, they're talking about how when Schilling leaves his pitches high as he had done in the first 2 innings, they'll usually become HRs...bing, bing, bing.

Schilling never lost at home...bing.

It was just a hit parade for them to prognosticate and then bing.

Mahty couldn't be a better representation of your typical MFYF:

pompous blowhard- check.

absent during the tough times, but the first guy you see and hear when the fortunes of the yankers improve as those of the Sox slip- check.

poor groming habits- check.

first to claim Sox fans hold onto their "infinitessimal blip in history" while wearing his "2000 WS Champs" t-shirt and invoking the number 26- check.

For my part, this ammount of hatred for a clip art character cannot be healthy. I say kudos to you, hb, for so accurately protraying 99.9% of yanker fans.

I went to bed last night muttering to myself, "That fucking Marty is going to appear tomorrow."

It's funny because even though I'm supposed to have "control" over the characters, it's not quite so easy.

Geesh h.b., I'd tell you to take a vacation but you've done far too much of that this summer.


Mahty sucks!

Okay, h.b., that glimpse into your creative process just now was hilarious... :)

What IS that about Yanks fans, the whole disappearing during their tough times and then emerging during triumphs? I went into work this morning KNOWING there'd be some really obnoxious email from my brother and from my buddy Bill (whom I have not HEARD a peep from in months)...and sure enough! Grrrrrrrr, indeed.

Perhaps tonight as you are going to bed, h.b., you can think to send Circle over to Mahty's house to seduce him, tie him up and rob him blind.

Just a thought...

Scott -

Your post is right on. Why is a non-entity pitching when the Sox just cut it to 6-4? Better question: why does Francona repeatedly forfeit games? Bringing Van Buren in at that time is just saying "we'll go all out some other time, but not this particular game". Do that 12 to 15 times per season (as Francona most certainly does) and you get 2nd place. Which is what the Sox continuously receive, and which they will earn yet again. Thank God for the wild card. And thank you Bud Selig. Can't wait for the idiotic posters who will inevitably claim that Van Buren was the only logical guy to be in there.

Losing control of characters? That's a little freaky hb, like the hall of fame twilight zone ep where the ventriloquist's dummy is alive, and homicidal....

....hb, driving to work, looks in his rear view mirror and Lisa the Temp is sitting in his backseat holding a large knife, driven to insanity that hb created her only to embody a life of meaningless temporary drudgery....

....then the characters begin to publish the strip and it becomes at times funny, at times horrifying, and suddenly a hellish nightmare....

Redrum.... Redrum...

OK, I'm LOL'ing at the vision of HB seeing Lisa the Temp in the car. Good one Jason.

Natalie...While I don't doubt the pile-on you get from Yankee fan friends and family when the going's good for them, I'm afraid the same goes for me with my Sox fan friends. A couple years back, a great Sox fan friend of mine in the office walked by my office every day that the Sox were in front with a piece of paper and the Sox's magic number written on it. He was, naturally, conspicuously absent when the Yanks took over first place, but was right back in place whenever the Sox took first place back. At Yankee stadium no less, I have subject by Sox fans I don't know to in-game flips of cocky taunting followed by abject, sullen and despairing silence (the extra inning affair a couple years back with Jeter flopping in the stands is a particularly memorable example). Lest you think otherwise, this is a character trait mirrored by both sides of the rivalry; I mean, how often do you think I hear about 2004 from my Sox fan friends?

Paddy-
Thank you in advance for calling me an idiot, but, truthfully- what option other than JVB did Francona have? You're not going to pitch Timlin or Pap until the end, Hansen had already gone a couple of times this weekend, Manny D has a thumb injury, Batshit was being saved for the 7th and Lopez is a situational guy. Surely you're not suggesting Seanez as a viable option there? And let's not forget that I assume Tito is planning on needing some major bullpen help tonight. So while I don't always agree with his moves, I don't really see how he had an option for yesterday... Unfortunately the ESP didn't work on van Buren, since Orel and Miller were talking about his quality stuff

And now for something completely different: a review of a BBQ joint in North Hollywood (I think David Ortiz's lawyers may be having lunch there soon):

http://www.chowhound.com/topics/show/311918?user_name=&query=big+papi%27s

Oh, Dave. I was with you all through your discourse, right up until you mentioned 2004. I know plenty of fans on both sides of the rivalry who partake of the "good times only" side of the rivalry. But I think all would be forced to agree that 2004 and the collapse of Mystique and Aura and their fall from the Penthouse to the flophouse occupies the highest chamber in the Pantheon of All Bragging Rights. I know I'm on the RSN side of that argument, but all up, that's gotta taste every bit as sweet as your "26 and counting".

Kip Wells inquiry
By Gordon Edes, Globe Staff

I was told by a Pittsburgh source this afternoon that the Red Sox were talking to the Pirates about starting pitcher Kip Wells.

Wells 1-5 with a 6.69 ERA in seven starts for the Pirates this season. In July, however, he has a much lower 3.16 ERA in four starts.

If we chase for Kip Wells, it better be for the rest of the bag'o'donuts that our other Wells hasn't finished off yet.

There is no way we put up anything of value for him partly because he'll also have to contend with the NL->AL conversion suckitude that every NL pitcher seems to go through.

Right on, Kaz. Too bad trade deadline wasn't after Wells the greater had pitched tonight...timing is everything. Actually, the only big trade I think Theo is looking for is Schmidt and/or Soriano, but honestly, we could be in worse shape in the outfield (I like Willie Mo and Gab platooning). It is all about the pitching right now. If we could get a starter and 1 dependable middle-reliever I believe that would punch our ticket to the post-season...45 minutes to go.

Our good friend Todd Walker just got traded to the Padres for a young pitcher.

Looks like the Skankees got Craig Wilson (1B, Pirates). Feh. Career .260-ish hitter with average power.

Texas ended up with Kip Wells.

Just reading some trade stuffs...Borowski and Herges both seem to be dangling at Florida. I wonder if they'd be interested in some slightly used donuts instead of Pittsburgh...

Bah! Funny to Cashman pulling his best Theo Epstein impersonation the past few days. This Chacon for Craig Wilson deal was a good one though, I will say that. Abreu off the juice hasn't had the power numbers this season though that should change once he starts working out with Sheffroid and HGHiambi... "A testosterone patch with your watercress salad, Mr. Abreu?"

Rob...I would never suggest that 2004 is anything other than what you suggest: the right to total bragging rights (for now, certainly; I mean, if the Yanks beat the Sox in the LCS and go to win the Series, it'll get pretty stale). There is only one team in the world that can lay claim to the Greatest Playoff Series Comeback in History, and that's the Red Sox of 2004. I'm not suggesting that Sox fans ought not refer to it early and often; I'm merely pointing out the nature of the rivalry is such that any doggy doo we can find to smear each others' faces with tends to get picked up and rubbed on. It's not a one-way street is all.

Trot's going on gthe DL with a "grade 2 biceps strain."

Depending how how severe his "grade 2" is, he could be out for some time:

"Treatment for strains: Dependent on the grade of strain. For grade I and lower grade II strains, determination of the etiology of the injury is critical. Rest or modified activity, along with anti-inflammatory modalities and medication will foster healing. Friction massage in the subacute and latter phases of healing is also beneficial. Severe grade II and grade III strains require surgery, followed by a period of immobilization, then gentle, active motion, then progressive stretching and strengthening."

Grade II....as in, he's been taking enough steroids in his past to hurt his muscle just by swinging a bat because he's clean now and his balls are shriveled up to the size that they were when he was in Grade 2.

For my part, this amount of hatred for a clip art character cannot be healthy.

F'in hilarious.

You guys think Marty is an a-hole? I thought he was being nice! (hehe)

Kaz -

Glad someone else has the guts to state the obvious. All one has to do is look at photos from 2003 and then current photos of Trot. As for JVB, if you wear your cap sideways, (a la Sabathia), I don't want you in a Bosox uniform - period.

Looks like the Skankees got Craig Wilson (1B, Pirates). Feh. Career .260-ish hitter with average power.

He's an upgrade from Andy Phillips (and he can play outfield), which is what matters. He's over .300 with RISP and vs Lefties.

Paddy,

Bro, I'm totally on board "outting" the cheaters....but I've looked at Nixon before/after pix and I don't get your "obvious".

I know Nixon is subject to a whispering campaign and maybe I'm out to lunch. Bonds, Sosa and Big Mac I can see; but Trot pix, I don't see the big difference?

1996 Rookie Trot: http://i20.ebayimg.com/02/i/05/93/89/75_1.JPG

2002 Trot (middle of his hayday):
http://www.beckett.com/images/pgitems/22140370101.jpg

Telling me those biceps came au natural?

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