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Coke Heah, Plattah Balls Heah

Mike:
OK, hands down this is the best line of the summah so fah: "I want his balls on a platter."

 

Doug:
Yeah, now that's what I call a "soccah mom"!

 

Mike:
Heck, and they say kids today only want to sit inside playing Nintendo and looking at porn. Not in these pahts, at least.

 


Mike:
Of course, now that this story is out, you can bet that'll be end of the shimmy undah the fence stuff.

 

Doug:
Well, what do you expect. The Globe is owned by the New York Times. They couldn't keep a secret if lives depended on it.

 

Mike:
Meanwhile, you've gotta love this — The All Stah has been in the books for an entiah news cycle now, yet we still have columns in each of the city's papahs discussing Manny's absence from the game and the ominousness of it all.

 

Doug:
I wait for the day when Manny's mom comes out and says, "I want their balls on a plattah."

 

Mike:
Of course, a plattah is proper overkill in this case. A demitasse saucer would surely do.

 

Comments

Young Mr. Earle is an idiot. Not so much for giving his story (which frankly I admire; who amongst us hasn't snuck into Fenway at one point in our lives?). But for allowing his picture to be taken. The gig is up, Peske-neck.

They did guarantee that they will be the last two kids to ever sneak in under that fence. I'll bet it's "fixed" within a week.

Excellent point about how numb they were for agreeing to be interviewed.

In that sense, these kids are not throwbacks but are very much a part of our current culture, where people will do just about anything for a little time in the spotlight.

Wish I would have saw that angle, as it probably would have made a better topic for the strip. I blame waking up even earlier than usual (430am) as I'm now starting to workout in the mornings before work as well as the evenings after work. May take my brain sometime to catch up.

Why don't you just stop sleeping altogether, HB? You could sort of treadmill sleep-walk.

Those kids will be hated by their peers and generations of teen miscreants to come. It's always sad when another bottle of gentle teen-brewed recklessness gets stoppered up. It just seems to pressure cook their adolescence that much more, and show up later in, say, meth use, or other not-so-gentle teen-brewed recklessness.

In a way, I love that Manny's knee is actually an issue. Not at all because I want to see the guy hurt, but just because the whole wolf-crying thing from All-Star Games of Yesteryear completes a circle or sorts: it's quite clear that the guy can't win. Off the field, that is.

Maybe its the cynic in me, but I wonder if those kids were offered some sort of enticement (i.e., $$, tickets, etc.) to share their story. One a sort of street urchin level, I could understand that. But if they gave up the "secret" for a view measly pictures and words in the Globe...they were dubbed.

As far as Manny's knee, I think it should be much better after being tended to by the always lovely Mrs. Manny...(in Austin Powers voice): Yeah, Baby!

I realize I'm a little late on this, but as a Red Sox fan living in Chicago, I thought you might be interested in the local take on the Sox vs. Sox series (or, as the Hawk puts it, "The Carmines vs. the Pale Hose").

To put it succinctly, the general reaction by the sports columnists, talk shows, etc. is "Damn! That's a good ball club". The local sports folks think that their team (i.e., the White Sox) has improved over last year's World Series winners offensively, but the pitching has slipped a bit. They think that the White Sox are still a strong threat to repeat as World Champions.

However, the general consensus was that the Red Sox are much improved over the team the White Sox faced in the ALDS, especially the pitching and most especially the defense. The White Sox were lucky to have not been swept. It's the only home series that the White Sox have lost all year. An ALCS of the Red Sox vs. the White Sox is generally considered quite likely (unless the 'wild card doesn't play it's own division leader in the ALDS' comes into play). Everyone in town was very impressed.

The game broadcast teams were also quite impressed with Red Sox fans. Their estimate was that 20% of the fans at the Friday and Saturday games were Red Sox fans, and that they were disproportionately loud in supporting their team. I was not surprised to hear this from them, as when I listened/watched the games and a Red Sox player got a home run or a double, the crowd reaction made you ask "Is this in the Cell or at Fenway?"

The Red Sox fans weren't shy around town, either. There was a major festival, "Taste of Chicago", going on at the lake front. 6 blocks of a major street downtown, next to a major downtown park and just 2 blocks from the lake and parallel to it, was closed. A 100 food vendors from all over the area were selling food, 6 music stages were set up, etc., etc. There were about 2 million attendees over the week, and on the weekend days there were at least 200,000 people there at any one time. And everywhere you looked Saturday night when I was there, you saw people with Red Sox hats, T-shirts, game jerseys, etc. I'm including the young lady I saw wearing a red t-shirt emblazoned with "I'd get it on with Paplebon". Given the ... ah ... distension of the top of that T-shirt, he might find it an enticing offer.

The White Sox have a series with the Yankees starting tomorrow, so I'll be cheering them on. Let's go White Sox!

I think it's totally ridiculous that Tony Massarotti likens Manny skipping the All Star game to a postman taking April 15th off. Come on now, who really cares about the All Star game? It may decide home field advantage in the World Series...but that means nothing if your team doesn't make it to the World Series!!!

Oh hey...there was something up with Typepad yesterday...just wanted to say one thing to Griffin and Devine on Manny's defense: assists are part of the calculations I referenced that describe Manny's low defensive value. So his arm and instincts which apply as positive in these calcs, as good as they might be, just don't make up for his shabby range. (Of course, with him, it's all really nitpicking: Manny's a flat-out great, great ballplayer.) To me, it's a lot like Jeter. People will argue that he's a great defensive shortstop- hell, he even has a couple of GG's- but by any objective measure, he's really not that good. Jeter has some great components, including his arm (cutoffs), his instincts (shovel pitch, anyone?), and ability to get to fly balls (extra-inning affair against the Sox in the seats). But his range isn’t so good, and that's the real day-to-value of a shortstop. It may not come up that much…say, one missed grounder every other week…but over the course of the season, it adds up to runs and losses. The same with Manny and those singles and doubles that he lets in: they may not come often, but in a 162-game schedule, they add up.

Thanks very much for that report, Ron. Very interesting to get the Chicago perspective.

Tony Maz is a whiny twit.

As for Manny, I never said he was a great outfielder. I said, and I'll stand by that statement, that he is an ERRATIC outfielder. Great at times, terrible at others. But there is one thing - if I'm a baserunner, I'm respecting his arm/release. Too many baserunners don't; it's like petting a cute, sleepy puppy to all of a sudden finding a ferocious dog leaping up and lunging at your face.

That's all well and good, but " a demitasse saucer would surely do" has to be one of the funniest things I've read lately. Nice to be back from vaca and catch up with the 'holix

Ron thanks for the excellent recap from Chicago, gives me a warm fuzzy.

And so true about the Apr15th/postman comparison being so poor. A better one would be to say Manny's not wanting to play in the ASG is like a postal carrier not wanting to deliver letters addressed to "Santa @ The North Pole," i.e., it's not real mail that counts.

Moreover, just shows what dinosaurs these print guys are: They've never heard of e-filing I guess. 55.8 million e-filed this year and it grows every year.:)

"Given the ... ah ... distension of the top of that T-shirt, he might find it an enticing offer."

Nice use of words, Ron. Unfortunately (for him?) Paps is a happily married man. Judging from the pix that have run rampant on the internet, Mr. Beckett seems to be available though...

Materazzi...Massarotti...

Same difference. I think it's time to call in Zidane.

"Materazzi...Massarotti...

Same difference. I think it's time to call in Zidane."

Excellent Call. PMSL

Back to ZZ's mom...doesn't "I want his balls on a platter" sound like something a terrorist would say?

Zidane sucks. What a selfish play. His Mom wears combat boots too.

Mazz. sucks too. Manny taking the game of is like skiping the company picnic. Totally not a big deal to everyone except the type A personalities.

The Yankees signed Sidney Ponson! Seriously! I feel like I must be reading this wrong, there's no way the Baseball Gods are feeling this generous. I only pray he lasts in the rotation long enough that the Sox get to face that fat tub of goo at least once this year.

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