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Only one chance to make a first impression

Another mid-week interruption to the flow of the season after the wash out last night. Of course, we could discuss Jason Grimsley and what impact this might have on another Jason whose last name also starts with a G, but, you know, there's nothing funny about human growth hormone …

Doug:
Ding dong Zarqawi's dead, another jihadist nutjob's dead.

 

Mike:
What I want to know is was al-Zarqawi wearing those bright white New Balance sneakers with fatigues when he got his airmail special delivery?

 

Doug:
Seriously, what was he thinking with that ensemble? Dude, you represent the Axis of Evil for fuck's sake. C'mon dress like you mean it.

 

Mike:
Yeah, you don't try to take over the world wearing old lady mall walkah sneakahs. You gotta represent and shit.

 

Doug:
Absolutely, I mean look at Osama Bin Laden. The friggin' long white robes and blanket thingy draped over his shoulder is totally pissah.

 

Mike:
Yeah, it's a look that says, "Listen up, bitches, I ain't playin' by your rules."

 

Doug:
And look at Kim Jong Il. Dude's totally got that evil coat-shirt-jacket Doctor No thing going on. That so works for him.

 

Mike:
You know, I'm really liking the suit and no tie look Ahmadinejad is sporting.

 

Doug:
Yeah, it's subtle. Not an in your face nutjob kind of thing but a more of a Cool Hand Luke or Vegas card shark look which fits his M.O. totally.

 

Mike:
Right his look is all "What me build a bomb? Get out. I'm just looking for an alternative to fossil fuels for energy, you know? C'mon let's go hit the hookah and cruise the bar for easy, infidel chicks."

 

Comments

Funny stuff. Normally I wouldn't do this and you guys probably dont like Simmon's but this was a great column by him... check it out.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060607&campaign=rsssrch&source=bill_simmons

Pleasure. Even when there no ball game its fun to read you blog!! thanks again. I really wish I could comment with wit but as far as wit goes I am probably just below the mendoza line and don't want to embarass myself. I will tell you that my barber was estatic that the killed the guy. But I think they are just like roaches and there will be more of them showing up in a month or so once they figure out the new org chart.

Going all Blackwell on the terrorists/rogue nation leaders ... nicely done, successfully walking the thin line between funny and inappropriate.

I know many on this site will assume that Jason Gi is one of the HGH-users, but was he ever a teammate of Jason Gr? I'm not really looking forward to hearing who he has implicated.

//Even when there no ball game its fun to read you blog!!//

You mean these guys aren't real? I had no idea I was reading a blog. Hole-ly shyte!


lc

If only you had a clip art of Steven Cojocaru. (the fashion critic with the freaky hair)

I was definitely hearing "Cojo's" voice in my head when I was writing today's dialog.

Also that other guy from the recent red carpets, the one who felt up Scarlett J among others and got reprimanded for it.

Not, of course, that I was imagining groping any of these despots. Ewww... :)

Bill Simmons is a farkin' idiot.

Grimsley pitched for the Yankees in two WS-winning years. Not that those wins were anything but legit, I'm sure.

Giambi admitted to a grand jury that he used steriods and HGH. Anyone believe that he stopped using HGH?

Hilarious. There may be a bit too much respect for Kim Jong Il's evil look there, though. I mean, the dude wears Ambervision goggles and a pompadour. He ain't heavy, baby.

http://www.asiaburning.com/images/r_kim_jong_il.jpg

So true about Kim Jong!

But I think any other outfit would make him look worse, so, in that sense, he's doing the right thing in trying to limit the damage.

Let's also put on our thinking caps and realize that Grimsley's naming of any player is called "hearsay."

After either unfriendly coercion (particularly motivated to save one's own ass) from law enforcement, there is a substantial probability for people to say some pretty wacky shit, like for example I was gang raped by a bunch of guys in Central Park, or there's no question that Richard Jewell was the olympic park bomber or Wen Ho Lee stole secrets from Los Alamos, there are only about 67,540 more examples.

Since they don't test for HGH either, it's a moot point anyway.

I'm also in the camp that isn't especially bothered by the whole performance enhancing thing.

But I do enjoy picking on the big lug Giambi whenever I can.

Grimsley pitched for the Yankees in two WS-winning years. Not that those wins were anything but legit, I'm sure.

Yep, 1999 and 2000. Those WS victorires are completely thrown out now as far as I'm concerned. Some might say this would cheapen the 2004 victory, but I think the Yanks should turn over their rings from those years to the Sox.

Giambi joined the Yanks in 2002.

Right, hb....My extremely libertarian attitude toward drug use (although I do not use anything stronger than alcohol) conflicts with a desire to see a level playing field across the decades.

It's difficult to craft a middle ground given the conflicts and hypocrisy, i.e., it's difficult to say that pot should be legal but a pitcher can't use hgh to recover to full strength 24 hours faster than normal.

//Let's also put on our thinking caps and realize that Grimsley's naming of any player is called "hearsay."//

Not if he's the supplier. That would be called "client."

Hot damn! Zarqawi and Bush's bullshit gay marriage ban both get croaked in the same day! It's a great day to be alive.

When is the makeup date for last night's washout?

Makeup date is August or September I think.

Only five current Sox players have played on the same team with Grimsley: Rudy Seanez, Mike Holtz, J.T. Snow, Julian Tavarez, and Manny Ramirez.

If anything, I think that Grimsley's list will move some of the scrutiny away from Giambi and Bonds. He was talking about a lot of guys, from what I understand. We all know that Giambi's been on all sorts of juice, the same about Bonds.

OK, but The Babe or Ted Williams never had the opportunity to have laser surgery on their eyes, or a multitude of other medical enhancements that helps today's players.

(Ignore the fact that Teddie Ballgame had 20/10 vision naturally.)

It'll never be a equal playing field.

Lawyer here. When a witness testifies to acts by others that he personally observed, that is not hearsay, it is direct evidence that the acts occurred. Hearsay is evidence of an out-of-court statement intended to prove the truth of the statement, i.e., if Grimsley said that someone else told him that they saw so-and-so using HGH. If he saw it himself, and he so swears, and a jury finds him credible, that's enough for a conviction. Gotta move on now... if I stop, I suffocate.

Still pissing here in NYC. Could be another effin' rainout.

Why don't they just schedule all the Yankees-Sox series in September when it really matters anyway?

Also, even it it WAS hearsay (which as NN points out, it isn't), one of the many exceptions to the hearsay rule is making a statement that goes against your own self-interest. Admitting you're a user and supplier certanly fits that bill.

On another, more important note, why the hell aren't the Skankees starting Big Unich tonight? I mean, I understand the Sox not wanting to disrupt Schilling's place in the rotation, but do the Skanks really give a flying f-bomb about Jared Wright and his "rhythm"?


He testified to events he personally witnessed, counselor? Have you read the affidavit, counselor?

From the relevant affidavit:

1) "Grimsley identified several other MLB baseball players by name WHO HE SUSPECTED of using either anabolic steroids or human growth hormones." (capital letters mine)

2) "Although Grimsley has NEVER REFERRED ANYONE to the source he got from (name redacted), Grimsley stated that he is sure that "boatloads" of players in baseball use this same source. (again, capital letters mine)

Counselor!! Come out, come out, wherever you are!!
-Robert De Niro, "Cape Fear"

Counselor!! Come out, come out, wherever you are!!
-Robert De Niro, "Cape Fear"

Reminds me of this one:

"Warriors... Come out and play-yah." [Clink clink clink]

That is one of my fave NYC movies ever.

That friggin gang in the shiny Yanks unis weilding the bats still scares the crap out of me.

Oh, and the killer lesbos who lure you into the lair. Freaky.

JO - My post made no assertion about what Grimsley did or did not say. I just described what hearsay is, and suggested that it would be hearsay IF Grimsley's statements were not based on personal knowledge. Which now you say they are not. But since the feds valued his cooperation enough to make a deal with him (which he later backed out of), he probably has more direct knowledge than the newspaper reports indicate (btw, press articles are also inadmissible hearsay).

I just noticed you cite an affidavit. Whose affidavit is that, and for what purpose was it given?

Yeah...that bit where the baseball gang is running down the street in their spikes is pretty sweet. Clack clack clack clack! Creepy.

One of my favorite tangents in the Warriors is how unnavigable the NYC subway used to be, such that even the salty native members of the Warriors are wondering where the hell they are as they look at the old map. This city has gone through some serious change.

before:

http://images.nycsubway.org/logo/recent-bimg_3346.jpg

after:

http://www.globalgraphica.com/main/archives/031605_nyc_subway_w498.jpg

Check the smoking gun.com...you'll find the affidavit of the "IRS-CI Agent Jeff Novitsky in support of search warrant."

"Were you aware that I discharged counsel and began representing myself when I was on the inside, counselor?" -RDN, "Cape Fear"

...hey hey, rain's stopped. Hopefully it'll stay that way and we can talk some Sox/Yanks baseball on the morrow!

I figured it was in support of a search warrant. They will craft that kind of affidavit to meet the minimum needed to show probable cause and secure the warrant, while revealing as little about their case as possible. I would bet your entire collection of Yankee miniballs that Grimsley's evidence is far more substantial than that carefully chosen phrasing suggests.

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