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New York, we've got your back!

OK, people, you know what happens when the Red Sox have a travel day in the middle of the week and there is no game to discuss. Yes, it's time to pop out of our all Red Sox world and take a look around elsewhere …

Bill:
Bad day to be a New Yorkah, eh? First they hear the DHS is cutting the rotten apple's anti-terrah funds because, get this, they don't have any monuments worth protecting … Heh.

 

Bill:
Then the Fruit Bat hurts his fruit back "putting on his left shoe," (you can't make shit like this up!) so is unavailable to pitch and, to add insult to injury, the Spankees blow a 5-0 lead over the Tigers when Farnsworth implodes.

 

Doug:
This tarnishing of the City of New York's "Mystique and Aura" status is truly heinous, which is why, being the compassionate guy that I am …

 

Bill:
Oh, boy, here we go …

 

Doug:
Listen, guy, let me tell you something — compassion nevah goes out of style. So, even while I'm a proud Bostonian, I'm not going to let something as "trivial" as a baseball rivalry stand in the way of doing, you know, the right thing and all.

 

Bill:
Absolutely. I mean priorities and all …

 


Bill:
You're a helluva a guy.

 

Doug:
Hey, when it comes to national security, there's nothing to joke about.

 

Comments

Adding more injury to the insult, ESPN Radio is reporting this morning (via Peter Gammons) that Sheffield looks to be out (possibly for the balance of the season) with torn ligaments. Apparently, they are going to try just rehabbing it first before broaching the surgery question.

HUH?

Talk about cart before the horse. "er, yeah Boss, we thought we'd see if those ligaments would magically reattach themselves in the whirlpool. We'll use the surgery route as Plan B."

Didn't Wade Boggs injure himself taking off his boots one time?

He once tore a muscle getting into his Margo.

Hey, considering that the Sox didn't play, was last night a great sports night or what? Detroit comes back against the Skankees, Dirk goes all Jordon on the Suns, and the next coach of the Bruins guides his team to a comeback Game 7 win.


Didn't Wade Boggs injure himself taking off his boots one time?

Well, that was the story Chicken Man put forward. I suspect it might have involved a wee bit more. You know kind of like the time "he fell out of the jeep and his wife 'accidentally' ran over him."

Either way, the big difference when comparing any of Boggs' weird injuries with this one from Rivera, is that Wade injured himself while in the "prime" (just ask Margot!) of his life, while Rivera's is indicative of a body getting pushed past its prime.

While, IMHO, compassion is way overrated, the fucking honks in DC ought to wake up and smell the Peets. Terrorists in Yankton? I don't think so...maybe terrorists yanking it on PalTalk, but that's a whole different story. Come on you fat humps, give NYC some $$. They are not coming after the moose here in Maine.

Checking in on Boomah at the Crankees game last night on ESPN (after watching the ersatz Whalers get to the Cup Finals) was a bonus, getting to see Kyle Farnsworth going all Kyle Farnsworth on the mound in place of the Silken Assassin, Mariano Rivera.

Did anybody notice that the Rangers called up "Way Back" Wasdin from the minors yesterday? That makeup with the Rangers can't come soon enough.

lc.

Speaking of gripping competition last night - did anybody catch any of the spelling bee? I watched the last hour, and am very proud to say I even spelled one word correctly! I was figuring with the night off HB would come up with a way to weave the kiddo spellers into the strip today.

Spelling Bees make me way too nervous. Can't watch at all.

noticed that Yankee stadium was not on the list
" The Clinton and King cards - depicting the Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge, Shea Stadium and Metropolitan Museum of Art - began with, "Dear Secretary Chertoff, Just a quick note from one of New York's many national monuments and icons."

This I love:

"Each New York state resident is getting $2.78 in homeland funds - including the substantial but reduced funds for New York City.

But each resident of tranquil Vermont gets $17.24, while snowbound Alaskans get $11.54."

I mean, the Ben and Jerry's plant is a national treasure and all, and the pipeline is a potential target, but seriously? You've got to protect New Yorkers from dangerous shoes and shoelaces.

Sigh.

I guess they will have to tap into other funds for all that overtime this coming fiscal year...

The message the DHS is sending to New York is telling, but as Ryan points out, the DHS funding is a boondoggle among boondoggles. It's essentially no-strings-attached money for states and municipalities to do whatever they want. Technically it's supposed to be used for "anti-terrorist training, staffing and equipment" but some states spend it on all sorts of nonsense.

Yeah, um, no monuments in New York? Riiiiiight. No monuments in the Bronx, that's for sure.

h.b. I like the A-Rod card - especially the little 'achtung' icon next to Mienky's head. As if to say, "wtf?" You should definitely branch out more like this.

Watching Farnsworth implode was delicious. As the old Pirelli slogan goes, "power is nothing without control".

h.b. I like the A-Rod card - especially the little 'achtung' icon next
to Mienky's head. As if to say, "wtf?" You should definitely branch out
more like this.

Thanks. The little 'achtung' is actually iPhoto's way of warning me that the photo is of low quality (probably 72dpi) and won't actually print very well.

But I left it in there because, like you pointed out, it just seems to fit so well with the scene.

Again you have proven there is beauty in clipart! I guffawed.

WCBS just reported that at the Detroit Marriot all-you-can-eat buffet this morning, Jason Giambi accidentally bumped into the sausage grill and sent in flying in the direction of A-Rod and Mussina. Both suffered severe scars and lacerations and are expected out for the season. In the ensuing mayhem Giambi slipped and fell into the syrup tub and scalded his ass. He is day to day.

Hey, who says New York doesn't have any monuments worth protecting?"

Riveria's troubles in D-triot last night brought to mind a movie quote...of sorts (apologies to MIB 2):

Rivera = Old and busted

Papelbon = New hotness

I think we are witnessing the passing of the torch (or flame-thrower, if you prefer). Say hello to the heir apparent Uber-closer in the AL East and MLB.

"'We had our chances,' said Terrence Long, who went 0-for-5, stranding nine and going 0-4 with runners in scoring position."
Well, sure you did, buddy. But you (and your team's) chances are getting more and more slim as more of you fuckers break down.

COD, you're right. That spelling bee was great theater- or was it theatre?

Sure, our nation's political and financial capitals may be taking huge cuts in their security funding, but at least DHS is recognizing the massive terrorist threats faced by Ft. Lauderdale, Orlando, Louisville, Charlotte, Memphis, and Milwaukee.

Yer doin' a heckuva job, Chertie! Now watch this drive.

"while Rivera's [injury]is indicative of a body getting pushed past its prime."

Whistling in the dark again h.b. Whistling in the dark...

Another way to look at this season so far is to say, "Holy shit! The Ynakees have suffered a TON of injuries and they are only a half game back! The much maligned Yankee farm system keeps producing guys who can, well...produce.We (SAWX fans) might be FUCKED!"

But that's just me...

I misspelled Yankees. But I'm sure you all will forgive me. LOL!

Not even worth the effort

//noticed that Yankee stadium was not on the list//

Of course not. Most normal human beings would PAY the terrorists to blow that shithole up.

//Not even worth the effort.//

Word.

I checked out the Detroit game while changing DVDs last night and said, "Ah, the hell with it," when the Tigers went 1-2-3 in the bottom of the eighth. That's the reason why the Yankees lost - because I didn't watch.


Re: The Fruit Bat's problem.

Do you think they make velcro, or loafer type, cleats? That might be a solution.

Or, Steinbrenner can hire someone to tie the Yankees shoes every night so that they don't lose anyone else...

(Tip of the bowler to the friend who emailed me the suggestion.)

Along the lines of freak injuries, I seem to remember Carlton Fisk in his rookie year splitting a toenail (required time on the DL, I think) while horsing around in his hotel room with some teammates in some sort of water fight/towel slapping/ass-grabbing endeavor. I don't recall the press exactly chasing that story line. HB would have had a field date with that injury. At least Boggs injuried himself with women. Meanwhile, is anyone else entertaining the fantasy of making it to the playoffs and hoping two strong pitchers can carry the team?

//is anyone else entertaining the fantasy of making it to the playoffs and hoping two strong pitchers can carry the team?//

No. I'm entertaining the fantasy that Theo will conjure up a third starter without selling out the future.

Lester starting 6/10 Saturday at Fenway v Rangers????

WEEI 1pm interview highlights

COD, remember the words of the wise Warner Wolf:
"The future is now!! Come on!!"

And don't forget: "The Russian is cut!!"

Amusing strip, particularly given that Boston should run a clinic for all other cities on how to suck taxpayers nationwide dry with the fantastic Tip O'Neill boondoggle that will flood during rush hour someday....

You're a bit off. The characters were not making fun of NY for boondoggles, but rather for not, according to DHS, having any significant "monuments."

To the characters, this is funny in the same way as the NYMFY not having any bling bling this Century.

Hence the tying it altogether with the A-Rod ball slap.

Excellent fun if you ask me, but your mileage may, of course, vary.

Sadly, I have too much mileage. But it was fun.

lc.

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