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Mr. Wakefield goes to Washington

Mike:
You know because he throws the floaty-dopey fluttah, it's easy to forget just how ballsy Tim Wakefield is.

 

Steve:
No kidding his pitches may float in like a paper airplane, but Wake's just as fucking nails mentally as any 98 mph flamethrowah stud.

 

Mike:
Absolutely. I mean that bases loaded, no outs situation in the 6th last night was the gutsiest pitching I've seen all season from a Sox startah.

 

Steve:
He hits a guy then walks a run in but never flinches, never breaks a sweat. Then it's S.O. swinging, S.O. swinging, and a pop out to end the inning. Totally fantabulous.

 

Mike:
And, thankfully, the offense didn't let him down — A season high 17 hits. Righteous.

 

Steve:
Seriously, there hasn't been that much Boston action in Washington since Barney Frank fired his "houseboy."

 


Steve:
Heh. I love the guy's premise: "to keep those New Yorkers in New York, and keep them away from our Boston girls." But I'm a little gun shy about the whole online matching thingy.

 

Mike:
Had some bad experiences?

 

Steve:
Are you kidding me? The last time I used Match.com the chick didn't look anything like her profile pic and all the bitch wanted to do was arm wrestle*.

[*NSFW]

 

Mike:
Ooh. Scary, dude, very scary.

 

Comments

Hate to break it to you, but that armwrestling 'chick' is really a guy.. those are definately mean-breasts!

Hate to break it to you, but that armwrestling 'chick' is really a guy

Like I said, I've had bad luck with online dating! Nobody is whom they appear to be fercrissakes.

But, fuck, at least she/he was a Sox fan! Bet your ass.

If it's true that she's a man, man, those are just the perkiest moobs I've ever seen! Such dainty nipples!

Today's column was a bit eerie for me...I'm marrying my match.com.spankee.fan fiance in August. We're going to bypass the 'passing of the baseball torch to our children' thing altogether...I'd like to stay married this time.

When Wake gets the lead (which unfortunately, is rare lately), he can be almost unhittable. Obviously, with some runs behind him, he can be less concerned with perfectly spotting the knuckler, or with passed balls, and just let it flow. Even the Nats were impressed. From the Washington Post:

"He just has a nasty knuckleball, man," first baseman Robert Fick said. "He doesn't fall behind too much. . . . Shoot, he's been doing it a long time, and he is pretty damn good."


I'm a Yankee fan, but Wakefield is nonetheless one of my favorite baseball players. It's just a blast watching him pitch, especially when he really has the knuckler dancing. Plus, you just have to respect his versatility and total team-focus. The guy's a throwback in so many ways.

I wish that more knucklers could make it in the league...it's such an interesting pitch, and makes for a real change in approach to the game on both sides.

There is something creepy about tessie's kid being born the same day that this winning streak has begun.

Kid's 5 days old...so's the streak. Let that magic baby shine!

The wrestler shim link isn't working for me, it comes up "e-blogger not found."

Judging from the posts above, I am glad for an 8am broken link. I'm not sure my caffiene-depleted brain could handle it.

Tessie's grandson has yet to see the Sox lose- may he live to be a hundred and fifty years old!

The damn link changed on me since this morning. Fixed now. Enjoy!!!

h.b. thanks, I think.........

Dave S., your comments usually make me shudder, but today's was especially cringe-worthy. May "moobs" or any parts thereof never be described as "dainty" again!!

Hey congrats and good luck, jdog71. My sweet match.com husband was a yankees fan, too. Took one trip to Boston and Fenway to make everything right, just as I knew it would. 5 years and it's pure happy.

Wakefield is the greatest. Thank God he finally got some run support, 'casue I really like Mirabelli's pure Sox vibe and I would hate for that to be all for naught.

heh heh heh... online dating.

I signed up for Chemistry.com, which is supposed to be this guided matching system. My username indicates I am a red sox fan, which seems to be the only thing anyone ever notices after reviewing my profile. Things have been good - not great, just good.

I live in the southwest and there are a lot of northeasterners who moved here and miss the way things are back home. For whatever reason, I keep meeting women who are all into the Yankees and think that gives us something to talk about. A typical date goes like this: yeah, nice to meet you, you're looking nice this evening, yes I do like the Red Sox, oh you like the Yankees, that's great Johnny Damon isn't injured yet, you're right, Torre appears to be smart for a Yankees coach, yeah I remember Buckner, oh that is the Yankees logo tattooed right over your asscrack, I realize we ran up a large bill here with all the drinks, boy were those appetizers delicious, excuse me while I relieve myself, I will be right back then we will settle up...

* leave for the car *

This has happened twice and I have headed it off at least twice more. It's great chemistry.com doesn't make you give dates your email or any other personally identifiable information.

M

Hate to keep bringing this up but whatever works, right?

Sox are 5-0 since my grandson was born!

The on-line dating thing can be hit-or-miss, much like swinging at the knuckler (hey?! perhaps h.b. intend the metaphor). When I moved back to Mass after my divorce, I tried a few...holy crap, can people lie or they are severely self-deluded...either way, those were some scary encounters...not as scary as the link posted, but close. My current girlfriend, however, is a keeper...just had to have some discipline at the plate.

I love it...the curse of the bambino was CHB-hogwash but now "the kid's a good luck charm."....

On the off-chance that there is a connection, I recommend checking the child's scalp, and make sure neither Gregory Peck nor William Holden are around...

Hey BCIB...I'll take it as a compliment.

Really, though, I'm surprised that this conversation in total hasn't included a single "bro" or "mansierre" reference, and instead has become a semi-serious discussion of the virtues (few) and pitfalls (many) of online dating.

I sort of figured that HB was anticipating a free-for-all of sorts on Pat, or Chris, or Sean, or well...whoever it is trashing the old fella in arm rasselin'. I guess I must be the knuckle-dragging, youse-guy Yankee fan type, because instead, I said "moobs", and actually thought it was kind of funny...now if only it was over a cup of Manhattan clam chowda...?

Aw, J.O....poor widdle fella rooting for the Yankees lost his Mystique and Aura?

Get some perspective, man. The "grandkid era" is just a put-on...a joke...a minor comment in a blog intended to lighten the mood considering the extreme coincidence of his birth and the current win streak starting on the same day.

The day CHB tries to write a book called "Tessie's Grandkid: How the Red Sox streaked in late June 2006 on the birth of a babe" and the major media outlets run with the story...then you can start considering that we're all hypocrites instead of just having fun staring at the cosmology of it all. Geez, man, get a grip.

Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick, Kazoo, I'm just fucking around...

And Mystique and Aura got the day off from Scores for the DiMaggio auction...

"The offered collection consisted of thousands of items and was intended as a tribute to and celebration of "The Yankee Clipper". The auction results were nothing less then astounding with numerous record prices set in various categories."

M & A are just fine, thanks for asking.

Now worry about your own team and cease these futile attempts to denigrate the greatest franchise in professional sports, i.e., a sisyphean task if ever there was one.

Kaz...breathe with me: in with anger, out with love, in with anger, out with love...I'm afraid you rise to J.O.'s bait.

But just as you say: even if the Sox streak ends tonight, I'm sure that Tessie'll remember this streak as a harbinger of goodness, her family's happiness aligned with joy in her baseball world, and good on her for it. What's better than family? If, however, the Sox streak continues past 30 games, I may be forced to retract my rosy assessment and enlist "Dog" to find the littl'un. Nothing personal, of course.

My own grandmother said regularly, "You love your kids, but you adore your grandchildren." Even though I'm pretty sure she was talking about my brother, the sentiment seems pretty true across the board. For example, ever since my daughter was born, my parents seem pretty indifferent to me. Congrats, Tessie!

Here, the replier brings back an oft-used variable one-liner from his teenage years:

The Yankees are a good team...to throw rocks at!

Dave S. - Following on your line of thought, I'm surprised reading down through the threads here this afternoon (was out all morning) that nobody went after the "Hey, Phil Mickleson is training for a professional arm-wrestling career!" track. And I did chuckle at your "moobs" comment...

Uh, by the by, New England is the only real variety of clam chowdah. Leave it to a NY'er to screw up vegetable beef soup by putting clams in it.

Kaz, Dave S. is all puppy dogs and ice cream, whereas you know that I'm shooting you straight.

Anyone as conciliatory as that dude has a hidden agenda, like Iago or David Stern...

I'm actually surprised that nobody has commented on what, in my mind at least, is the funniest line to appear on the strip in weeks:

"There hasn't been that much Boston action in Washington since Barney Frank fired his 'houseboy.'"

You guys remember that right, the "houseboy" was running a gay prostitution ring out of Congressman Frank's Georgetown brownstone?

Ah, well, yet another of example of how little handle I have on what will get people laughing.

Dave S., trust that "moobs" are always funny. And always gross.

Yeah Hb, it was the funniest and I forgot to comment on it. Cause I got all distracted, when because I was laughing at the comment I decided to share it with my cubemate who decided to go all PC on me cause he thought I was denigrating homosexuals and he is one of the "I will be so supportive of peoples sexuality that I won't even make a joke out of it" people. It was funny and thanks for helping me expose him for what he is. He just didn't get it that it wasn't about Barneys (or the houseboys) sexuality, it was about running a prostitution ring right under the congressman's nose. (with (?) or without his knowledge)

and the associated action.

I lament the death of sharp, but not over the line, ethnic/religious/sexual humor with vasoxfan.

The lifestyle/thought/speech police are no less fascist than Pat Robertson.

Go Tessie Aura! Most baseball true baseball fans can associate special times in their lives with baseball events. Just ask George Will "All I remember about my wedding day in 1967 is that the Cubs lost a double-header."

Hey Jason...I hate the Red Sox too...I just try not to be such a dick about it on a Red Sox blog, or rather, I aim for subtlety. And miss. But the effort's there. Not that I don't appreciate your general combativeness, but it's just not my style.

And hey...how did you know? I DO like both puppy dogs AND ice cream! Am I that transparent?

I think Dave S actually likes puppy-dog-FLAVORED ice cream.

I see we got Jason Johnson --- guess it's throw-everything-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks time. If/when he pitches against Randy J, then we'll find out which team has a better performing Johnson.

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