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Zoning out

Bill:
OK, I do buy into this whole positive thinking, powah of the mind stuff, so why does it amuse me to no end to picture A-Rod walking around chanting ";I hit solid with an accelerated bat head"?

 

Mike:
You know, every time I tell myself, OK, that's it, no more making fun of A-Rod, something like this comes along that proves irresistible.

 

Bill:
Imagining A-Rod as Stuart Smalley is just too funny. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."

 

Mike:
Heh. And after another 0-fer in a clutch situation: "I am a human being, not a human doing."

 

Bill:
So is it me or has The Rivalry hype been turned down a few notches going into tonight?

 

Mike:
Well, as much as I hope to take it to the Spankees and gain some ground in the standings, emotionally it's a no-win situation for Sox fans …

 

Mike:
I mean if we win it's all "Well, the Yankees have half their guys on the DL, so it doesn't mean anything." And if the Sox lose it's all "hah, you guys lost to the AAA Yankees team, losahs."

 

Comments

"I'm good enough" Are Ya?
"I'm smart enough" Are ya?
" and doggone it, people like me." Do they?

Just go away, ARod.

ps Is the L.DiNardo era over yet?

lc

Yeah'he's workin' on a bat head allright:)

Freakin' Lenny DiNardo is killin' me! I'll take the Fatman on TWO bad knees...and sick with the bird flu instead of DiYardo!

On a happier note, I would like to congratulate the UMass-Amherst lacrosse and softball teams...moving on in the NCAA tournements...nice!

Just heard that the wind is supposed to be blowing out over the Monster at around 20-25 mph tonight.

I'm going to the game; it could be a VERY long one if balls are flying out of the park on every pop-up.

"So, who is this mustachioed, tall man who plants thoughts in A-Rod's head?"

I'm guessing his name is "Johnnycakes", and he has a nicely accelerated bat head.

"So, who is this mustachioed, tall man who plants thoughts in A-Rod's head?"

I'm guessing his name is "Johnnycakes", and he has a nicely accelerated bat head.

In ARod's defence, if I was paid that much money and consistently failed to produce runs in the playoffs, I would be in therapy as well. Except mine would be more like job therapy, there's something dishonest about being the highest paid person on a team and consistently failing to perform when it counts.

M

Where's Marty?

Had enough of Lenny D. Hope his miserable attempts at pitching don't come back to haunt us this fall. We coulda had a few more W's with Brandon on the staff. And I was one of those who liked the trade at first. I have "waffled" on this one. I secretly hoping for a sweep so I could talk some smack to my Philly friends.

"I mean if we win it's all "Well, the Yankees have half their guys on the DL, so it doesn't mean anything." And if the Sox lose it's all "hah, you guys lost to the AAA Yankees team, losahs."

Thank you, Mike for that preemptive strike. Now that both sides of the MFYFs argument have been taken away, I'm sure we'll be getting a healthy dose of "26 rings, baby!" or some other tired mantra. All I ask for tonight is that Schill stop missing his spots on two strike counts and pitch like he can. Oh, and a Papi walkoff. That'd be nice.

Re: A-Fraud. Watching the game last night, two on, one out, MFY trailing by one. The second Mrs. McBluelips walked to the plate I said to myself "Inning ending GIDP". I must be nostradamus...

Hey, hb - did you catch this headline on Call of the Green Monster:

"Lost" Season Finale to Reveal Real Reason Why Theo Left Sox

Hmm...maybe some ideas for Thursday's post?!

Yuck the Fankees. I've seen a few Fankees in their NYY logo gear wandering through Kenmore already today...

The rivalry definitely seems to be down a notch. Today's smacktalk volume is disappointing so far, considering there were like 70 postings the day of the series in NY. Maybe the Spankfans are actually working this morning, hoping to take off early and watch the game?

Stuart Smalley .. nice. "I'm going to refer to you as Alex R, to protect your anonymity..."

Watching Sportscenter on mute this morning, the closed captioning referred to Nomar Garciaparra as "Golden State Warrior Parra". The who now?

Sorry I'm late, I'm still hungover from Mayor Nagin's victory party...man, those sazeracs can really wipe you out.

SUPERBOWL Monday!! I'm really looking forward to the commercials and a Playboy models PPV halftime show.

(Red Light never disappoints)

Did Jason see the video from last weekend? Take off your mask, drop your glove, and then throw the first punch...

Never underestimate the Yankees fans, it's a Monday and they are still probably recovering from their weekends. It was a Sunday, and cheap Gin and Thunderbird appears to be what passes for the Eucharist in Brooklyn. A few of them will crawl out from under their rocks later in the day to start making noise this afternoon.

In the meantime, I am going to pretend to be a Yankee fan. Let's see if anyone here can tell the difference:

"Haw Haw All our players see psychologists to give them an edge, that is why we are better"

"Haw Haw We got Johnny Damon for a few million extra - you guys' management must hate you not being willing to pay for the best batter ever"

"Haw Haw Joe Torre is a Genius, Tito is a spotted lesion on my sore foot"

"Haw Haw Jason Giambi and Gary Shefield are the greatest physical specimens on Earth and win based on natural talent, just like Bonds"

"Haw Haw Mariano Rivera is the best closer ever, I bet you guys wizz your pants when you hear 'Enter Sandman'"

"Haw Haw You guys let all the wrong people go, J.T. Snow will be a Yankee within a month and we will sign Manny, Ortiz, Lowell, Loretta, Youkilis, and Varitek before long too"

"Haw Haw Beckett is a joke, thank goodness we got Pavano"

"Haw Haw Look at all our classy rings, you can buy souvenier replicas outside the stadium for $5.99"

"Haw Haw Look at all our classy rings, they go so well with my gold chains and man bracelets"

"Haw Haw Look at all our classy rings, they were all won honestly"

"Haw Haw The mystique for our team is so thick you can spread it on toast, your team smells like a Citgo station"

"Haw Haw We win more games than you each year because spending outrageous amounts of money on talent guarantees better performance"

M

Here is a nice one-liner I used on a Spankees fan I know. It is open source, so everyone can use it on their own Marties without giving me credit:

"We always say 'Yankees suck', but it isn't as fun when they do suck this bad. The Chokees are so broken, I heard Joe Torre is going on the DL."

Okay, it's a two-liner, but the first line is setup for the second one.

I am never responding to any more talk of that Jason Varitek armor crap. It's just pointless to discuss. Pure baiting on Mr. O's part.

And there had better be no "You didn't beat the real Yankees/Haha, you lost to the fake Yankees" crap. Though, of course, there inevitably will be. It's like the Varitek thing; something's just stuck in their frickin' craw.

In all fairness to A-Rod, Timlin used the guy too, when he was in Baltimore. But he stopped. A-Rod has been using his "binkie" since 1996 though :-)

Cape Codder -

There is nothing wrong with seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist, period. There are plenty of reasons to see one that have nothing to do with mental illness. Even if someone is seeing a mental health professional to deal with a mental illness, that's great he or she is getting treatment. It is wonderful we live in a world where you can get your sanity checked without resorting to the ways of the ancients (trephony, exorcism, ritual stoning).

In the case of ARod, we can only guess at the soul-tormenting sins that keep bringing him back to be evaluated again and again. If it really is that he wants to be a better player, that is one thing. If it is that he wants to get past this whole regressive slapping thing and get back into his whole dropping the shoulder move, that is another. If it is something far more sinister, like he yearns for the flesh of the innocents and feels the need to sleep in a coffin filled with the dirt of his native soil, that is another thing altogher.

Again, it is nice that we don't have to resort to the ways of the ancients to deal with guys like this. At least he is not spending that time on the streets.

M

This is kinda disturbing (especially the animation; gives me the hee-bee jee-bees):

http://www.bostonist.com/archives/2006/05/22/sox_get_animated_with_arthur.php#comments

Damn, all o' y'all just spend your time bitching about how much Yankee fans suck. It's so...meta...this preemptive attack on Yankee fan excuses. It's like you all actually worry about Yankee fans opinions and sit around reassuring each other that, don't worry, at least we're not like them. And you'd be jokin'. So many of the Yankee fans I know perfectly complement their Sox counterparts. Both are boorish, self-righteous, insufferable, and vindictive; certainly deserving of each other. I'd say about 75% of the fans on both sides of the rivalry fit this mold. The difference, and what makes them complementary (and what's most hilarious to me about both) is:

1) Sox fans' the notion that the Sox are some kind of underdog, and that they (the fans) are magically less bandwagon-esque, truer, somehow grittier and possessed of an intrinsic, superior moral fiber. This is often, and humorously, expressed by the notion that the Sox's spending habits aren't excessive.

2) Yankee fans' constant and sad fallback on the Yanks' historical success. Yes, the Yankees are a great franchise, and they've had some tremendous years. But they ain't won diddly in 6 years, and any smack-talking that focuses on their track record is pretty embarrassing.

Anyway...the idea that beating the Yanks this series should be any less gratifying because they're a walking triage center is ridiculous. Come on, kick 'em when they're down, and laugh. You ought to. But suck it if the Yanks beat you. If a team can't be built to survive injury, they aren't that good. I for one won't sit around and blame injury if my Yanks tank against the Sox again this year, nor will it make the sting of the Sox beating up the Yanks any less painful.

"Take off your mask, drop your glove, and then throw the first punch..."

Jeez, JO- you're better than that. If you're going to talk out your ass, at least watch the highlights with your brown eye. Barrett's mask was knocked off by the collision. His glove was on his hand. Tek responded to some dipshit repeadetly telling him "Fuck you". Barrett sucker punched Pierczyinski (?sp).

"It's like you all actually worry about Yankee fans opinions and sit around reassuring each other that, don't worry, at least we're not like them."

Uhh, not really Dave. It's just that all of the insufferable MFYFs are so predictable that it can easily be pointed out what their self-serving reaction to the next three games is going to be, regardless of the outcome.

The only thing worse than a "boorish, self-righteous, insufferable" Yankee fan is a boorish, self-righteous, insufferable, hypocritical Yankee fan.

In all seriousness: Admit it NV, if the Yanks win this series in their depleted condition you're going to feel like an opportunity slipped away.

My realistic hope is win one out of three, and tonight is probably the best chance: Wang's sinker has been good lately. The big eunuch is pretty much done and Wright is still a crapshoot, albeit a little better in the last 3 starts.

The Yanks stay within shouting distance and then the Sox will crumble in Tampa in a crucial late season series when it counts...

BTW: Will Red Light be doing NESN interviews every half inning, calling WEEI and liveblogging on SoSH during the game?

I just can't stop coming back here today. The conversation reminds me of an old joke.

A New York family of Yankees fans heads out one Saturday to shop for the youngest boy's birthday. While in the sports shop, the son picks up a Red Sox jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Red Sox fan and I would like this Boston jersey for my birthday."

His big sister is outraged and whacks him and says, "Go tell mom!"

He takes the jersey to his mom and she says "Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."

She whacks him on the head and says, "go tell your father!"

"Dad?"

"Yes, son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Red Sox fan and I would like this jersey for my birthday."

He whacks his son in the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

On the car ride home the father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today."

The son replies "I sure did! I've only been a Red Sox fan for an hour, and I already hate you Yankee bastards."

M

"if the Yanks win this series in their depleted condition you're going to feel like an opportunity slipped away."

Unquestionably. I don't see any reason we cant sweep (with the exception of one Matt Clement pitching on Wednesday).

FWIW, Curt has a high-speed internet connection in the dugout and a live mic feed to Don and Remy AND Joe and Trup. I think we'll be all set with the up-to-the-second updates...

Not to cast doubt on the science of visualocology or whatever, but why is it it only works on people with talent?
People who suck visualize and - shazaam! - they still suck. I'm visualizing people are reading this and are appreciating my wisdom.

Heya NV...my bad. I should have remebered that there were those crazy, unpredictable Red Sox fans to contrast MFY/"Yucked Fankee"/Spankee fans with. It's real hard to guess what those feisty proletariats are going to do next! Viva la resistance!

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