More distant and more solemn than a fading star

Mike:
Christ, I thought the Yankees were stahting Randy Johnson last night … Who was that skinny old hillbilly with no control they dragged out then booed off the field?

 

---

Bill:
Heh. You know in the old days before we were taken to the mountain top finding the Sox in an 0-2 hole in the first behind a seemingly shaky starting pitcher I'd have been totally Don Knotts in The Ghost and Mr. Chicken …

 

---

Bill:
But last night I was all Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction, a totally cool, calm, collected bad ass motherfucker.

 

---

Mike:
Everything has changed, guy. Last night the Yankees looked old, tentative, and rattled, while the Red Sox seemed totally in control from staht to finish.

 

---

Bill:
You know what was the most awesome thing about last night's game? Every Red Sox playah made a significant contribution to the outcome, Harris, Saenz, Mohr, A-Gon launching a bomb.

 

---

Mike:
Well, you certainly could say the same thing about the Yankees, except it was a contribution of, er, a different kind: 5.52 runs given away on sloppy play.

 

---

Bill:
You know if it were possible for me to feel any compassion for a Yankee, which it most certainly is not, I might feel badly for E-Rod. On top of his history of struggling and ball slapping against the Red Sox, he commits two errors on an 0-fer night and gets called out in public by his nut job boss.

 

---

Mike:
Yeah, whenever the crazy old bastard starts referring to you by your position and not by name, you know you're on his double-super shit list.

 

---

Bill:
After Steinbrennah's eruption, you can bet a more energized Yankees club will show up tonight.

 

---

Mike:
And with Schilling on the mound you can bet you'll hear some noise.

 

---

Bill:
Meh. The Yankees fans can boo and hiss all they want for in the end they are quiet and meaningless.

 

---

Mike:
As wind in dry grass.

 

---

Bill:
Or rats' feet over broken glass is their dry cellar.

 

---

Author's Notes
The title and lines in the final two panels are from "The Hollow Men" by T.S. Eliot.

Comments

[Follower of Tito]

Stick a fork in the Big Eunuch...he is done...reminds me of a line in Major League: "Wish we had him 5 years ago..."

Also, I have a new product idea: "Mistique-be-gone" sold at the concession stand.

[Big Papi is my co-pilot]

I never want to hear another Yankees fan give RSN shit for booing Johnny Damon at Fenway, after hearing the boos rain down on Randy Johnson last night. Real classy...

[tessie]

Listening on MLB.com, it was great to hear Joe C. say, "The Yankees would have been out of this inning if not for that error by Alex Rodriguez." I'm pretty sure Joe liked saying it too. :)

[stratomaticboy]

S-e-a-n-e-z, you transposed the 'e' and the 'a', hb. Otherwise you get an A+

[IkeG]

That 11-level booing for Johnson, first heard last year in the playoffs and repeated in triplicate last night, is the greatest thing to hear on the radio. Whatever tomorrow may bring, today is a great day.

That wasn't the Yankees they played last night. It was some minor-league substitute. The pro team will be back tonight against Schill, you can be sure of it. Let's hope Curt brings his best.

What's up with Melky Cabrera? I keep hearing how good this guy is and he keeps making me wonder who they're talking about. Does he have the Jose Contreras thing going?

[yazbread]

I was sort of hoping that Marty would make an appearance this morning - maybe he had recalculated those run differentials overnight. Love the pitching match-up tonight. Shilling - who wears his heart on his sleeve, against Moose - who has no heart. Hopefully, Torre won't tell Mussina to plunk Ortiz (or A-Gon), because Mussina would tell Torre that it's not in his contract.

[james]

Isn't "Saenz" maybe Seanez with a wicked accent, guy?

[Carlos]

You can quote sad poetry all you want H.B. but last I checked your beloved Sawx have a one-game lead in May. Don't worry, come October, you'll have plenty of time to time to pick up that copy of Finnegan's Wake you were always meaning to read and also realize that "The Holllow Men" could be a reference to your Mendoza-line-loving middle infield.
p.s. When it comes to Eliot, you should stick with "Cats."

[Pond]

I agree with the strip, it's hard to feel bad for the third baseman, but that Steinbrenner sure is a hell of a guy. Talk about class.

[harwich rich]

"Aura and mystique" my ass

[h.b.]

Carlos,

You sound like that whiny and decrepit Tiresias from the Wasteland, you know the old man with the wrinkled dugs.

Datta.Dayadhvam.Damyata. Bitch.

[Kluv]

Wow, here I was, going to jump on in with some choice words for Carlos...

But, you really couldn't put it any better than h.b. did right there.

Fabulous strip today, sir.

[Carlos]

H.B.: You're not even a pair of claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas...Your mighty beaneaters are going out with a whimper tonight.
Good luck with that campaign to make Rum Tum Tugger the Sawx's new mascot.

[Jason O.]

Re: May 9...Congrats to BOS

Fallaces sunt rerum species
(The appearances of things are deceptive)
-Seneca

Est autem fides credere quod nondum vides; cuius fidei merces est videre quod credis
(Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe)
-St. Augustine

[BB]

All Sox fans,

I'm going to type this s l o w l y because I know you guys can't read very fast. There is DIFFERENCE between booing Jonson at Yankee Stadium and booing Johnny Damon (as a Yankee) at Fenway. And here's the difference:

D A M O N was instrumental in winning you a W O R L D S E R I E S. He was cast aside by Y O U R front office. He was R E T U R N I N G to F E N W A Y for the first time. Tip your cap and show the guy some love AT LEAST during his first at bat.

Johnson was B R O U G H T to NY to win. He not only lost last night, but pitched like shit while doing so. Not even CLOSE to what was expected. You get booed for shit like that in the Boogey Down Bronx. Always have. Always will. Ask Yaz or Rice if they were ever booed at Fenway...

[h.b.]

FWIW there really was no gloating on the part of the characters today. I tried to make that especially clear via Bill's "you can bet a more energized Yankees club will show up tonight."

It's a great win for us Red Sox fan but it is just that, a single win in a 3 game series. There's every reason to believe the score tonight could be reversed.

There is a reason why the two clubs are dead even when they've gone to head to head the past 3 years.

This is what makes the rivalry fun.

Though it doesn't seem like many Yankees fans are having fun anymore. Guess it was only fun when the rivalry was lopsided, eh?

[DenverSoxFan]

What's with all the Yankees fans in here today? And what's with all the smoke blowing out of their collective ass? My eyes are watering up over here... someone open a window.

[COD]

I wish my employer would cast me aside by offering me $40 million dollars. Somebody please call BB's mommy and ask her to go unplug the DSL connection in the basement.

[d56]

BB -

Sorry boss, but you're missing some facts . . .

-Damon was NOT 'cast aside' - he was offered a fair-value contract, and turned it down for a marginal dollar-value increase from the Yankees (who most certainly overpaid for the last 3 years of that contract).

-Johnson wanted to come to the Yankees - Damon claimed he would never go to the Yankees.

With those two elements in mind . . . I think booing Johnson is as bad, or worse, than booing Damon - was Schilling torn apart by the Sox fans, front office etc. last season?

[di]

Judging by the way both teams played yesturday I certainly feel good about the Sox. The good news is that we did well without Coco. Coco will definately be an upgrade to an offense who has started to heat up (finally).

Now that Beckett looks more like himself and less like D-Lo, the rotation is looking better too.

So Yankee fans if you feel the need to go to a Red Sox fan site and post, I hope that makes you feel a bit better about yourselves.

-di.

[Redsauce]

Here's a quiz for all the Yankee fans out there:
Which is more helpful to your own team, the team you root for?
A) booing players on the other team
B) booing players on your team
I'm tired of BB...he just spouts off without checking any of his facts. Hide behind a@a.com all you want.

[DenverSoxFan]

Also, here's a heartwarming story from the bleachers the the Bronx last night, where Yankee fans are apparently incapable of acting like decent human beings:

http://community.livejournal.com/redsox/2559626.html

[jdog71]

From the NY Post...pillar of fair and decent reportage:
"They're pitching to me, they're going to get me, sometimes I'm going to get 'em, simple as that, not like that stupid bastard right there that said that they have to drop off Ortiz,"-Ortiz

Then the Post goes on to basically defend its article....Regardless of what the article said (Jackie "I should get that sex change operation, grow that mullet and coach girls High School basketball" MacMullen actually defended it as well...)

[jdog71]

I wasnt finished....The Post defends itself over the "Drop Papi" article. The headline is the issue here, not the article. When you print something in a size 50 font, people tend to notice. The post also ripped Schilling this morning for calling the author of the article out on WEEI. Resorting to name calling and bullying. So classy.

[Jeff]

Didn't you Yankee fans boo David Wells, who helped the Yankees win WS rings when he came to pitch in a Boston uniform last year? Or is that different?

[tooeledave]

BB,
He's an old man giving you the best he's got. That's what you get for building by acquiring old free agents with contracts that keep them there long after they're not the same player. You should thank Randy for helping keep you in practice for they last couple of years on JohnNY's contract.

"instramental in winning a world series" "cast aside by your front office" Ask David Wells how it is coming back to Yankee stadium as a member of the Red Sox.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A24029-2005Apr3.html

[Roger]

I love Soxaholix and read just about every day. It's great stuff. What would make it better would be if you could refrain from using the Lord's name in vain. That, I think, would make a lot of people happy;-)

Thanks for the great work

[pawsoxpop]

Jeff, don't waste your breath on BB. You could just type the exact same words he typed "David Wells, cast aside by your front office." In the case of Wells, he really WAS cast aside by the Yankers, not offered $40 million. BB is like the caracature of the drooling, infantile loudmouthed jerk who throws batteries at players and shakes down little kids for their lunch money. You might as well try to talk sense to a guy standing in Times Square shouting through a bullhorn that the world is coming to an end...

Great win last night. I'm glad Foulke kept the ball over the plate and in the park, to save the rest of the bullpen for when they'll be needed -- which I'm pretty sure they will be in the next two days.

Excellent strip today HB. Hopefully Papi's bat wakes up tonight and the Moose will learn "WHAT THE THUNDER SAID"

"What is that sound high in the air...Who are those hooded hordes swarming" through the upper decks to get a souvenir?

[Aaron]

Would I be correct in assuming that "BB" is an fact a devilishly clever acronym for the comedic genius that is BigBri? If so, welcome back, sir. You are a master put-on artist, and your note perfect imitation of the sterotypical braying ass Yankee fan is, as always, pure comedy gold. Bray on!

[americantrotter]

I've been in the bleachers at Fenway for Yankees games. They probably throw out as many sox fans as Yankees fans.

The sox have some bad fans, but Yankees fans trying to win the better fan contest is hilarious.

[birthofasoxfan97]

Jason O - you've really become an intriguing part of this strip. No offense to HB and yankee haters everywhere, of course. I admire the level-headed perspective.

In the sprit of your classical bent, may I offer this favorite as my commentary on the overall Rise of the Sox: Abeunt studia in mores. (Pursuits change to habits.) Decimate this post as you will.

[Bergs]

Roger, hb didn't use "the Lord's" name in vain; one of the characters in the strip did.

Jesus.

[scott12xu]

DenverSoxFan: That story was horrible and made me so upset, not only for the fans' actions but for the pigs (both cops and other yankee fans) who did nothing and went out of their way to make the Sox fans' experience even worse. But considering the brutatlity of NY's finest - shit, look at the caliber of Yanks fans that post here or Survivng Grady (Jason O excepted - though he has been a little nastier than usual in yesterday's posts).

Perhaps, it's just the general feeling of the world now - everyone hates everyone and we are in a state orf permanent war so why not just carry the bad vibes everywhere, even to a freakin' baseball rivalry than now looks like it'll become the new "100 Years War" with blood being spilled (eventually someone's gonna get killed - as in dead - wearing a Sox shirt in MFY stadium).

I'd like to see cooler heads prevail but based on that article, I'm not holding my breath.

That article was one of the main reasons you could never drag me back to NYC, baseball-related or not.

Or as Fear said, "New York's Alright If You Like Saxaphones."

[Griffin]

Mike Lowell > Alex Rodriguez.

That is all.

[supermysteriousguy]

Roger, I'm assuming you're a Christian... it's up to US to not take the Lord's name in vain. You can't expect non-believers to play by our rules. I know I don't.

[David B]

Wonder why the yank fans are so interested in soxoholix? Just one more thing the nation has they are jealous of? Nice strip hb.

[Zeke Hunkaburning]

Take heed O yankee fans in peril.

"There is no good in arguing with the invetible. The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat."

And about George:

"It was a pity he couldna be hatched o'er again, an' hatched different."

- Eliot

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

Wow, DenverSoxFan, that's pretty shitty treatment - unfortunately it seems to be the rule and not the exception that yankee fans are gutless toughs who talk a lot louder when they're in mobs. I remember hearing it from one little shithead in sec. 41 a couple years ago who wouldn't say anything unless his three friends were around.

D A M O N was instrumental in winning you a W O R L D S E R I E S. He was cast aside by Y O U R front office. He was R E T U R N I N G to F E N W A Y for the first time. Tip your cap and show the guy some love AT LEAST during his first at bat.

Hey BB, I can play too:
D A V I D W E L L S was instrumental in winning you a W O R L D S E R I E S. He was cast aside by Y O U R front office. He was R E T U R N I N G to Y A N K E E S T A D I U M for the first time. Tip your cap and show the guy some love AT LEAST during his first inning.

[BB]

Dewey's Bastard Son -

You are friggin' kidding me, right? Wells Spit the Bit against the Marlins - walked off the mound after ONE INNING cuz his 'back hurt'. You better have necrotizing fasciitis that COMPLETELY devours your pitching arm before you beg out of a WS game. The guy goes to San Diege or someplace, I don't know and I don't care cuz he's dead to me, and then pops up in a Sox uniform a couple of years later talking shit about the Yankees before the season even started. You are goddamned right we booed him and rightfully so. Dewey you have to come correct or don't come at all.

Don't want to forget my manners - Great game last night for the Sox. You gave us a good ol' fashioned ass-whupin'. Hats off to you. But this IS the Boogie Down Bronx. We'll pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and kick your ass tonight. If I were you, I'd pray for rain...

[scott12xu]

Just wondering - do Red Sox fans go onto Yankee boards and start shit with Yankee fans? Just wondering if that's a tit-for-tat thing that's gotten out of hand or if Yankee fans have cornered the market on talking smack against their rivals on their message boards.

[pawsoxpop]

See Dewey, just like I said. The smelly guy with the megaphone in Times Square: "The world is coming to an end!" Trying to talk sense to somebody like this will just ruin your day.

[pawsoxpop]

The Empire has nothing to compare with the wit and creativity of soxaholix, so the storm troopers come over here and try to cause trouble. But like Obe-Won at the bar in Moz Eisley's Spaceport, HB slices off an arm and sends them on their way...

[Kaz]

I'd just like to point out something that I posted after last night's game.

Not only did the Yankee fans boo RJ, but they didn't have much *reason* to do so (except that the *rest* of the team was killing him on defense).

RJ: 2 ER, 3.2 innings, only 2 of his 5 walks actually crossed the plate.

His line was made horrible by horrible defense and then the bats decided to sleep (you're not going to win many games with only 3 runs on the board).

[Jason O.]

Birthof, I agree with the idea expressed in that quote. As it relates to BOS/NYY, we can now all enjoy baseball without the Shaughnessy/FOX Sports/et al manufactured hype.

BTW, the United States after WWII and The Early Roman Empire (1st c. AD) are similar, hence the classical bent. Read Juvenal's satires about life in Rome and its amazing how little has changed in 1,900 years. Right, we have jets and computers but the basic human social organization is identical.

Enough of that shit. Is Red Light going to float down in a parachute for the first inning or some similar PR stunt?

[Jason O.]

Birthof, I agree with the idea expressed in that quote. As it relates to BOS/NYY, we can now all enjoy baseball without the Shaughnessy/FOX Sports/et al manufactured hype.

BTW, the United States after WWII and The Early Roman Empire (1st c. AD) are similar, hence the classical bent. Read Juvenal's satires about life in Rome and its amazing how little has changed in 1,900 years. Right, we have jets and computers but the basic human social organization is identical.

Enough of that shit. Is Red Light going to float down in a parachute for the first inning or some similar PR stunt?

[Oy!]

1) Of course the Post isn't classy. They're a yellow rag that likes to try to stir up controversy to sell papers.

2) I never want to hear another Yankees fan give RSN shit for booing Johnny Damon at Fenway, after hearing the boos rain down on Randy Johnson last night. Real classy...

Players are not like interchangeable parts on a car. A lot of Yankee fans got disgusted in the 80s because Boss Steinbrenner treated them like spare parts, and kept on building teams that didn't win.

Then he was banished (Hallelujah!) and Stick Michaels built a home-grown, pre-Moneyball team with selective, reasonably priced extra parts as needed.

The homegrown, of course, were Mo, Pettite, Derek, Bernie, Jorgie and company. The reasonably priced extra parts, some of whom came in trades and some as free agents, were guys like Tino, O'Neill, Brosius and Justice. They all stuck around. We came to know them and love them. Win or lose, they were our guys, partly because they gave us so many great wins.

Clemens never really fit in. He just seemed too much of a mercenary. Johnson is obviously a mercenary, but he's never performed. From day one he's been erratic, and he's usually at his worst in big games. He is trying, but it's hard to warm up to the guy.

Sox fans can understand this. Pedro, Manny, Papi, Schilling, Damon ... none of them started with the Sox. But they all made themselves Sox. Who is more of a Red Sock than Papi?

I started watching the Sox play in 1968, so I know there's been plenty of booing over the years. This double-standard Sox Yankee BS is just that - bullshit. I don't boo Johnson, and I don't like the booing of Johnson, but I don't like Johnson either. And real baseball fans know why he was booed and that it has nothing to do with Yankee fans being different than Sox fans.

[Redsauce]

Again, A@A.com (BB) seizes on one issue and ignores that he's been wrong all along. The Randy Johnson booing last night? Ignored. The David Wells booing? Totally different than the Damon booing. The Damon booing? Red Sox fans are shitty, horrible people.
Nice job, BB. Making a heck of a case for the intelligence of Yankee fans.
And scott12xu has an excellent point--are Red Sox fans out there trashing the Yankee forums? Is there something going on here I don't know about?

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

yeah yeah, I know pawsox, don't taunt the asses. But it's really fun, especially the morning after a blowout like that. He's obviously been listening to that new K-fed hotness when he's talking about "coming correct" in the Boogie Down (as if he's ever set foot that far uptown outside of the Toilet or the 6 stop that wasn't in a full-out sprint going for one or the other).

Well BB, you have your reasons, we have ours - you still sound just as stupid trying to call out Sox fans for hating on a guy going to the other side.

[sean]

Hey BB - yea, you big bri: what - are you sick of having your ass handed to you at surving grady, so now you have fled over here? You giant fucking pussy.

[Pond]

Dwight, don't knock the full out sprit off the 6. That's just common sense sometimes. On the other hand, my guess is BB isn't so much from Boogie Down Bronx. I think he's from Boogie Down Chappaqua and talks like he's from Boogie Down Bronx.