Like a Virgin (Hey!) Touched by Mohamed Atta...

Doug:
Well, as is often the case, Schilling proved actions speak loudah than words when dealing with his critics.

 

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Mike:
Nothing like an eight-inning, five-hit, one-run mastahpiece to say, "I've got your hurt from a 133 game pitch count right heah, a-holes." Beautiful.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, and Francona took the words out of my mouth in describing Ortiz's single on that 3-0 pitch that got things going in the 3rd: "That was a gorgeous swing."

 

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Mike:
That's the thing about David Ortiz. His grace with the bat is phenomenal. His singles look every bit as perfect as his moon shots. Viva El Papi.

 

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Doug:
And that he's followed by Manny? I mean how sweet can life get?

 

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Mike:
When the Manny Ortez comes up to bat, everyone, no mattah where they are or what they're doing, stops to watch.

 

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Doug:
You know, bitches like Lindsay Hohan and Parasite Hilton wish they could be as a hot as the Manny Ortez.

 

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Mike:
Thank heavens for baseball stahs, because they just don't make celebrities like they used to.

 

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Doug:
No kidding, even Madonna is tarnishing her legacy by dragging her fit, but still ridiculously haggy and shop worn, ass all over the stage in her Confessions of a Tired Vagina Tour.

 

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Mike:
Note to Madge: The whole cross thing is way the fuck overdone. That crap might get few Cardinals all pissy, but for the general public it's not edgy, it's not shocking, it's boring.

 

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Doug:
These days, fucking around with Christian iconography is about as edgy as buying a "Speak Truth to Power!" t-shirt at Wal-Mart.

 

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Mike:
Seriously. If Madonna really wanted to create a stir she'd skip the cross and the crown of thorns bullshit and get up on the stage in a see-through burqa and start dry humping one of her gay dancers impersonating the Prophet Mohammed.

 

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Doug:
Yeah, and she'd rework her song "Like a Prayer" into "Like a Beheading."

 

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Mike:
Now that's the hizzy shit that'd get her edgy street cred back.

 

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Doug:
You know, Madonna is so old and washed up, I'm surprised the Yankees haven't signed her to a long term contract.

 

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Mike:
Yeah, she and Redneck Randy could sit around watching old VHS tapes of their greatest moments last Century.

 

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Comments

[louclinton]

"Madonna is so old and washed up, I'm surprised the Yankees haven't signed her to a long term contract."

Terrence Long? Paul O'Neil still has more game than that guy. I'd like to say it's sad that the MFY's look so shop-worn, but fuck 'em.

lc

[NV in SD]

"Madonna is so old and washed up, I'm surprised the Yankees haven't signed her to a long term contract."

6am is much too early for me to be spouting hothot coffee out of my nose. Thanks, hb.

Terreence Long looked 100% overwhelmed last night. My money says he won't be seeing any time roaming LF tonight (or tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that...)

[harwich rich]

Madonna-the Saloman Rushdie for a new century? :]

[Bob]

Kind of weird Sox-Yankee game last night, fan-wise. In my bleacher section (39), there are usually at least a couple of Skankee fans rattling their faux gold chains and shaking their Gotti boys hair gell all over the place. But last night, not a one.

Surmise away.

[harwich rich]

The Moronic Verses Tour ?

[yazgoesbacklookingupitsgone]

"You know, Madonna is so old and washed up, I'm surprised the Yankees haven't signed her to a long term contract."

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. And genius as well.

[Geoff]

Why does this otherwise great blog about the sox fandom feel the need to constantly fallback on anti-Arab racism to get a laugh? Come on guys…

[h.b.]

Why does this otherwise great blog about the sox fandom feel the need to constantly fallback on anti-Arab racism to get a laugh?

What no complaints about the misogyny in making fun of successful woman like Madonna? What about the chauvanism explicit in the idea that women in their 40s are "hags" and can't be sexy?

If you're gonna go all politically correct on my ass, at least bring your fucking A game.

:)

[louclinton]

"Why does this otherwise great blog about the sox fandom feel the need to constantly fallback on anti-Arab racism to get a laugh? Come on guys…"

um, the "characters" in the "strip" are equal opportunity bashers. I am sure they have an equally poor opinion of Hebes, Wetbacks, Polacks and Crackers.

Also, just on an fyi basis, the people who flew into the towers turn out to be Arabs.

lc

[louclinton]

I am sure the "characters" will get around to cougars one day, won't they h.b.?

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/Health/story?id=731599&page=1

[h.b.]

Oh, crap, Lou, that Cougar idea is a good one.

I've actually been planning to introduce an older female character to the strip. I have her name and bio sketched on a postIt on my home computer.

I think I'll set her up with a younger boy toy based on this cougar phenomenon.

[Rob in CT]

<< um, the "characters" in the "strip" are equal opportunity bashers. I am sure they have an equally poor opinion of Hebes, Wetbacks, Polacks and Crackers. >>

...and if I'm not mistaken, have the characters not also taken to addressing the issue of certain pedophilic priests and the Boston Bishops that defend and protect them as well?

Hate and bashing are always okay here, as long as it's equal opportunity bashing. Even better if you can toss in a MFY angle on the hating. :-)

<< If you're gonna go all politically correct on my ass, at least bring your fucking A game. >> Heh...

Anyone else remember the line from Blazing Saddles? "Okay, we'll take the n-gg-rs and the chinks, but we won't take the Irish!"

[h.b.]

Yep, actually if you mouse over the link on "might get few Cardinals all pissy" above you'll get a tool tip reading "The Vatican is upset about a lot things, just not pedophilia."

I try to have the characters bash as many sacred cows as I can. It's one of the reasons I started the strip.

If someone or something doesn't get bashed, it's mostly because I feel it's already being done better elsewhere or it's overdone already.

[Scott]

Great strip today. Loved the transition to Redneck Randy at the end. Perfect!

Great game last night. Even A-Job came thru with a HR when the game was out of reach, just like he always does.

How bout thta DEFENSE. Gonna help us win quite a few games this season. Only going to get better.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

<< um, the "characters" in the "strip" are equal opportunity bashers. I am sure they have an equally poor opinion of Hebes, Wetbacks, Polacks and Crackers. >>

Why would they have a dim view of crackers? They *are* crackers.

<< Also, just on an fyi basis, the people who flew into the towers turn out to be Arabs. >>

Most of them had mustaches, too, just like Stalin, Hitler, Saddam, and my father-in-law! Mustachioed men are the bringers of evil!

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

<< Great game last night. Even A-Job came thru with a HR when the game was out of reach, just like he always does. >>

Oh, yes. I meant to mention this. I laughed a little bit when it happened. Foulke didn't look good at all, though.

[Rob in CT]

<< Yep, actually if you mouse over the link on "might get few Cardinals all pissy" >>

Oooooh... I thought you were talking about St. Louis. :-D

[h.b.]

Most of them had mustaches, too

Actually, no. Only 5 of 12 of those fuckers had mustaches by my count.

[Kaz]

Terrence Long...Scott Erickson...Bernie Williams...Randy Johnson...this team is like Mix-98.5, home of the hits from the 80's and 90's.

[Jason O.]

I've got to give Red Light credit, he loses velocity and develops the curve ball and better location to compensate.

But more importantly, if you haven't been brainwashed by your college professors and/or you think critically:

Then you understand that the unwillingness to show Mohammed is our problem. Those cartoons were published in an Egyptian newspaper in late '05 and no one in the Arab world said a fucking thing for 4-5 months until early '06 when the "protests" (read: organized & calculated by Syria & Iran) began. Did anyone in the West report the 5 month delay until the "spontaneous protests" began?

Dozens of supposed first amendment champion news sources are ethically bankrupt by not showing the cartoons. Yes, this should worry you. If you're not willing to freely express yourself in the face of a threat, the whole concept is worthless.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

On the page you linked to, I count 8 of 19. I checked Wikipedia and went by whether their wiki page showed any photo of them at any time with a mustache. Once a guy a with a mustache, always a guy with a mustache. It's my ridiculous connection, I'll set the criteria, thankyouverymuch :) I probably should've picked something like brown eyes. Or hair.

The sad point is that, of course, evil knows no demographic bounds. Kaczynski and McVeigh were as white as could be.

[h.b.]

I'll give you 8/19 but that's still less than 50%, right? I always think of "most" as meaning, er, most.

Heh, just busting your balls.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

Consider them busted, indeed :)

[Jason O.]

That equivalence is nonsense, because it ignores the relative magnitude of the threat.

Dangerous fringe white people have a fraction of 1% of the capability to kill compared to Islamists.

The sad point, of course, is that some can't let go of identity politics long enough to clearly assess the threat.

[Kaz]

If you're not willing to freely express yourself in the face of a threat, the whole concept is worthless.

Is it free expression if you're somehow mandated to do so simply because you can?

As I read it, most newspapers didn't refrain from showing the images because they felt a threat. They did it because they chose not to print the pictures. This will not be the last time a newspaper has decided against printing something, nor was it the first.

[tessie]

"What no complaints about the misogyny in making fun of successful woman like Madonna? What about the chauvanism explicit in the idea that women in their 40s are "hags" and can't be sexy?"

Yeah! That's right! We're not hags but we can be rather forgetful and a little slow to react...

[h.b.]

I recall several accounts of media orgs saying they wouldn't print the cartoons because of "safety for their staff."

But the bigger point that I was trying to get across in today's strip is that it's not particularly "brave" or "edgy" to make fun of Christianity or to burn the US flag or whatever.

Just as, personal opinion, I don't think it's particularly noteworthy when a celebrity, ala the Dixie Chicks, comes out and slams Bush. (And if Hillary Clinton were pres, I'd feel the same way.)

Now if, say, the Dixie Chicks came out and said, you know, a nuclear armed Iran is dangerous, and giving the death penalty to a woman for "disgracing" her family because she was raped is evidence of a sick fucking society, well, that's a bit braver IMO.

[Ogie Oglethorpe]

Don't get Ogie started about the Dixie Chicks. They start by ripping Bushie to get a "cheap pop" from a foreign audience, then they apologize for it and cry about it, then try to capitalize on the media generated by the whole thing, alienating their bible belt fan base in the process. Since their fan base no longer respects them, and a new albums coming out, they withdraw their apology (because, you know, its cool to Bash Dubya, works for Neil Young, Pearl Jam, Springsteen) so they now market themselves to attract a "new" fan base.

What a disgrace.

[Jason O.]

I would have sex with any (or all) of them, and this Maines chick can sing.

However, I just looked at their website and it mentions the Dixie Chicks collaboration with producer Rick Rubin, who "got Johnny Cash and Neil Diamond back to basics."

Listen up, fuckfaces: No one got the man in black anywhere unless he wanted to go there first.

Trying to keep the ends out for the ties that bind,
-Jason O.

[Aaron]

Anyhoo, back to baseball...

Did anyone else develop a small ulcer watching Foulke "pitch" last night? He looked like he was throwing batting practice out there. I realize it was garbage time, but still.

Or perhaps I'm being too hard on Foulke. Perhaps he was unselfishly trying to turn a perfectly respectable blowout into a save situation for Papelbon. One more run and he'd have done it.

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

I had to flip away after Posada's home run.

He really did totally wreck himself to win that World Series, huh?

[vancouversoxfan]

I hear ya Aaron. Schill was pitching filth and Foulke was pitching garbage.

[h.b.]

Foulke's been pretty reliable thus far, no?

I'll cut him some slack for last night.

Did anyone see Billy Wagner's implosion in the Mets/Yanks game on Saturday. Man, he could not throw the ball over the plate.

Yet he comes out the next day, and is fine.

Some days these guys are just going to stink up the place.

[Cheddah]

"Why does this otherwise great blog about the sox fandom feel the need to constantly fallback on anti-Arab racism to get a laugh? Come on guys…"

how many non-Arabs strap dynamite to their chests and walk into crowded buses of innocents? THEY ARE THE ENEMY!!man, i sure do miss having the Russians as enemies though...

[RS]

Great post today. The last 2 frames had me shooting diet coke out my nose!

Keep up the good work!

[Scott]

One more comment on the game. I cannot stand the ESPN/National announcers. Anybody else feel the same way? They add NOTHING to the game. How bout when they said the fans were getting nervous after Foulke gave up another extra base hit. I don't think so. 2 outs. Paps warming up just in case. I was not in the least worried. May have to pony up for the MLB package again.

[Aaron]

And speaking of Madge and her increasingly desperate attempts to shock: this strip reminds me of the classic Onion story, "Marilyn Manson Now Going Door-To-Door Trying To Shock People."

[Aaron]

And it would help if I actually included the proper link. D'oh!

[Ryan with a capital "R"]

Foulke: He's pitched in 21 games. 13 games w/o giving up a run. 5 games he's given up one run. 3 games (including last night) where he's given up two or more. Consistent? You be the judge.

His WHIP is a very pleasant 1.11 (which I think includes last night).

[Kaz]

Scott, I actually turned on ESPN when I sat down to the game yesterday....and realized that it was blacked out because I get NESN. Whew! I narrowly avoided the bullet on that one! Who knew having a game blacked out would actually be a GOOD thing.

[Dave S.]

"how many non-Arabs strap dynamite to their chests and walk into crowded buses of innocents? THEY ARE THE ENEMY!!"

This is just depressing. Some of my co-workers are Arabs, and I consider them friends. Isn't this a baseball blog?

http://www.internationalbaseball.org/iran.htm

[Dave S.]

Anyone who was worried last night about anything other than the totally isolated instance of Foulke sucking needs his head examined. The Yanks' four runs in the ninth were as empty as Paris Hilton's skull.

[h.b.]

Technical point, but Iran is not an "Arab" country. Neither is Pakistan nor Afghanistan.

We definitely need to be careful not to group all Muslims together as "the enemy."

On the other hand, it is quite clear we are very much at war with some Muslims.

[da kine]

Dave S., why do you defend Arabs with a link to Persians playing baseball? You do know there's a difference, right? If you aren't sure, ask a 50-year old man from Iran what it's like to be Arab, and he'll let you know the difference with five across the grill.

[da kine]

Incidentally, I met an awful lot of great Arab folks from Kuwait, UAE, Jordan, etc. while I was on a trip to the Middle East. But...if I was a British airport screener or mall security guard in London in the 1970s, I'd sure as hell give someone looking like me an extra going over. You see, my people blew a lot of shit up.

[Designated Sitter]

I take it you're Irish, then? :o)

[h.b.]

There was a great piece in the Atlantic a couple months ago about the IRA and how the British finally broke it by way of spies.

Got to the point where nobody knew who was working for the British and they couldn't trust one another at all.

[Dave S.]

Hey, touche on the Iranian ain't Arab point...I am aware. But I couldn't find any Saudi baseball, and figured that pointing to any Islamist country (be it Shiite or Sunni) playing baseball might dim the hatin' a bit. I should have clarified and made the point of "Islamists like baseball, too", rather than a vague link, AKA Hussein/Al Quaeda. But who's quibbling?

[Dave S.]

Here's the link I should've given:

http://www.aramcoexpats.com/Community/Brats/ContentID/1687/Content.aspx

[pawsoxpop]

Nice to see the boys get that first win against the MFJV Squad. Let's hope Wakefield can make Sheffield wish he'd stayed down on the farm a few more days tonight. We've got to pile on, kick them again while they're still down before Steinbucks goes out and buys Barry Bonds, Dontrelle Willis, Albert Pujols and Iran's nuclear program...

Funny bit on Madonna HB, but I think your characters are a little out of touch with the American media. For as long as I can remember, the best way for any entertainer to get lots of free publicity and sell lots of books, tickets, etc. has been to insult Christianity, especially the Catholic Church. "The Last Temptation of Christ" would have never made it past the first weekend without all the free publicity the Catholic church gave it. "The DaVinci Code" would have been just another Tom Clancy wannabe. Madonna isn't looking for a fatwa, and I don't think she even really cares if she's perceived as "edgy". The material girl just wants to sell tickets....