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Just what can you depend on?

Bill:
My day isn't off to a good staht …

 

Bill:
I not only burnt my balls in the showah this morning, I spun around to get out of the burning water and burnt my bunghole too.

 

Doug:
And don't look to the Red Sox for solace. I don't want to alarm you, but the Sox pitching has, er, issues.

 


Bill:
Everywhere an ill wind blows.

 

Doug:
So that so-called pitching glut that allowed the Sox to trade off Arroyo sure was short lived.

 

Bill:
Yeah, I've had fucking hangovahs that have lasted longah.

 

Doug:
Hey, at least the little dancing for dollahs bump and grind pole dance the front office was doing with Hendricks and Clemens is ovah.

 

Bill:
Yeah, I haven't seen that much collective fantasizing since the Paris Hilton sex tapes first went online a couple years ago.

 

Doug:
Realistically, I think we dodged a bullet on that one. Having Clemens would be like dating a strippah. I mean is seems like a good idea, but no good can come of it.

 

Bill:
Yeah, besides, I want my disdain for Roger Clemens to continue unfettered through the decades.

 

Doug:
Seriously, if you can't depend on a never ending hatred, just what can you depend on?

 

Author's Notes:
Believe it or not, the bunghole line is from a poem, "Trouble with Spain," from the collection Burning in Water Drowning in Flame by the late, great Charles Bukowski.

Comments

David Pauley... Hmmm... Why do I find myself not feeling that bad that I don't have NESN here? By the way, all future posts will be as NewHavenPatriot, because I moved back home to Connecticut. Between Bridgeport and New Haven. Pretty much enemy territory. :-(

Wow Bill- I thought I was having a bad morning :(

Is this the sox circa every year before 2004? Why are we trippin? The Blue Jay's will continue to be a thorn all year but there is no reason to be depressed about it. Have faith in our boys and think of all the question marks(lowell, coco) that turned out great. We still get to start Beckett and Schilling every 5 days for christssake.

Hate the Jays.

Pauley Shore against Ted Lilly? Oh yeah, I feel confident about tonight's game.

Agree on the Clemens thing. It would have been exciting to have him around, but maybe it's better that he won't be.

The way this season has gone against the jays, I won't be overly surprised if the kid shuts them down tonight.

COD, say hi to Santy Claus on Xmas morning for me, I'll be waiting up for Uma Thurman to suck my dick. Good luck, bro.

STR Bullpen indeed (Shit The Rack).

lc

Yes I know that its a marathon and not a race but everytime its like heartbreak hill playing the jays these days. The world is dark at the moment....

Philly, I used to live in Hamden and work in Fairfield. Definitely enemy territory. I used to picture that county as a person who was facing NY and showing their ass to Hartford, the rest of the state and New England. I didn't meet a single Red Sox fan who was native to the area. Plus, this was the late 90s.

I know that to most Red Sox fans the minor leagues simply don't exist (as a co-worker of mine said last year, "Who's Dustin Pedroia?"), but I've seen Pauley pitch twice this year and was impressed. Two outings: 13 innings; 2 runs; 5 hits; 5 BB (1 intentional); 9 K. He's not a fireballer my any means; he moves his pitch location around, and has a good sinker and a decent curve. If he's on, you'll see a lot of ground-ball outs.

Can't stand the Blow Jays.
Rockies swept them here a couple weeks ago. Maybe the Sox ought to watch some film of those games...

Not looking too good for the long haul this year, but I won't let it get to me.

Even though last nights start was a career high for hits, I would have to say Beckett's worst start was not last nights but that god-awful 3.2 IP, 9 R, 8 ER, 6 H, 3 HR, 5 BB, start against Cleveland. Lets just hope we don't see a line similar to that or last nights for a long long time.

I've been looking for a way to articulate the potential for disaster in signing Clemens; the dating a strippah analogy works perfectly, thanks, H.B!

"I've had fucking hangovahs that lasted longah"

Great line, hb.

Today is my birthday. My presents thus far have been crappy. To make up for this, I demand that the Baseball Gods deliver me a Sox win.

Are either Beckett or Schilling consistent enough to be referred to as a #1, top of the rotation guy? Win/Loss records aside, both have had some brutal games. When I think #1, I think consistent winner, always in the game, for the full season.

That said, I'm glad they pitch for us, just saying that neither is a "classic" #1 right now.

OK, I'm ready for the flaming arrow responses...

Any chance of the Sox getting Willis? We have a nice thing going with the Mahlins. I'd give them Clement and $5 million along with some kid I never heard of.

"Oderint dum metuant"
(Let them hate provided that they fear)

I'm looking forward to David Pauley. He can't do worse than anybody else has against the Blue Jays. From what I've read, he's a sinkerballer which may be just what we need to get some outs from that free-swinging lineup.

Maybe he'll be D-Lowe without the booze, bimbos and Derek Lowe face. Like the billboard said: "I can dream, can't I?"

Hey PhillyPatriot aka NewHavenPatriot, welcome aboard. I live between Bridgeport and New Haven too, so we're neighbors. It's not really enemy territory so much. The Yankee fans outnumber the Sox fans, but if you throw in the Mets fans then the Yankee haters are the majority.

So anyway, I'd say "Hi neighbor, have a 'Gansett." But I don't have any 'Gansett...

p.s. Nice Bukowski reference HB. Here's one for you:

"the blue jays are rough this week
like
bruised kneecaps
in an 15-day
DL---
wine wine whine,
pass the Paulsen...

Why would anyone hate Roger?

That's just dumb.

Why would anyone hate Roger?

What planet do you live on?

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