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Smokin that budda, Drinkin that puda


Doug:
Numbah 2, Randy Johnson, "if he couldn't throw a ball 100 miles per hour, Johnson would be wearing a wife beater and getting hauled into a squad car on Cops."

 

Mike:
And I'm still laughing ovah the 8 spot with Bin Laden, "a 6'5", no-vertical-leap mass murdering douche bag is not getting any style points."

 

Doug:
I do quibble with the fact that Woody Allen isn't on the list. And how the frig does Larry David come in higher on the ugly scale than that fat fuck Michael Moore?

 

Mike:
Yeah, that's kinda like demoting Adam Stern in favah of Willy Harris.

 

Doug:
Christ, I know the party line about Stern needing to get at bats, but, considering the friggin highlight reel tear the guy is currently on, can't he, you know, continue to get his plate appearances with the big club until the Coco Crispiness comes back?

 

Mike:
Yeah, well, with the Sox at 11-4 with the best record in the Majahs, it's hahd for me to get my panties too bunched up with management's rostah moves.

 

Doug:
You've got a point. Not much to bitch about is there?

 

Mike:
Absolutely. I mean if someone had said to me back in February that on 4/20 Curt Schilling would 4 and 0 with a 1.61 ERA and the best staht of his careah, I'd have been all, "Dude, you're smoking the mofo purple haze hydro 420."

 

Doug:
Yeah, and I'd a been all, "Dude, don't bogart that chronic. Mary-go-round it."

 

Comments

Whoever put that list together is nuts. I'm the most hetero mofracky in the land, but have you ever seen Carrot Top flex? That cat is jacked to the gills. And Al Bundy, Dennis Miller, and Edward James Olmos are on the list? Admiral Adama may have some Noriega-esque skin issues, but if you fuck with BSG, you're fucking with my family.

Agree. Carrot Top is diesel pumped. And Olmos is the man.

The Phoenix list is interesting, I guess. We don't get it where I live. Where are the all-timers Julian Taverez and Benito Santiago? Or my catchers mitt from 3rd grade? They all have similar features.

Did anyone else find Schill's comments after the game a little creepy? I did and here's why: He's all like "Roger, Greg and me". Ohhhh, I get it, he thinks if he strings a few more wins together he will be in the Hall of Fame. Uh, no, thanks for '04 and all that, but last time I looked they were 100 wins or more in front of you, Schill. The guy is nails,and I pony up $3 for every strikeout for ALS, but I think that hippy lettuce that the characters were hoovering might have caught up with our No. 1 stahtah.

lc

Anybody think that Jorge Cantu is trying to be the fill in for Orlando Bloom on Pitates of the Carribean? Just me? Maybe Jorge should have been on the list?

*Make that PIRATES of the Caribbean.

First of all, for anyone over 30, Admiral Adama will ALWAYS be Lorne Greene, and Olmos will ALWAYS be Lt. Castillo.

That being said, I know that this new BSG is one of the few times where the sequel is better than the original, like Alien and Aliens.

The new Dr. Who is good...Major West from "28 Days Later" is doing a fine job...and the brit actress who plays his sidekick is fine.

The new Dr. Who is good...Major West from "28 Days Later" is doing a fine job...and the brit actress who plays his sidekick is fine.

Absolutely. He's already my 2nd fave Doctor of all, and Rose is a damn fine companion.

My only complaint is that they are cramming everything into a 1hr format. I loved the 4-part story arc of the originals.

I hate to take a cheap shot, here, but no A Rod? That guy gives me total creeps from looks alone. The dirt dogs pic with the purse and the hat is an improvement.

Mel Stottlemeyer should have been on the list as well. Looks like a psychotic overaged Cary Grant, and when he spits it's like a 7th orafice.

M

manequin meet pogo-pogo,manequin

Yeah . . . the whole thing about Stern is that he's not even hitting Youk's weight, so I'm all fine w/ keeping him until Crisp, then moving him back (and keeping Mohr - remember, Harris needs to be added to the 40-man, so let's give Mohr a shot while he's here).

Also - the ugliest man in sports history was most likely Willie McGee . . . to the point where me and my friends (25 year olds in the Midwest) every year hand out three Willie McGee Awards for the ugliest man in baseball (the three categories are obviously white, black and Matsui).

Thanks to TiVo, I recently watched some original BSG. Holy crap. I guess I let a lot slide when I was 7 years old. There were many scenes where cylon-collaborator Baltar was just sitting in this chair that was perched high up on a column in a dark room. Cylons would come in, he would spin around in his chair to talk to them, and then they would leave. WTF? What did the guy do the rest of the time?

It's nice to see my state's junior senator make the list. Sixty seems about right for him, too. Not uglier than, say, Malcolm Gladwell or Michael Moore, but definitely uglier than Jeff Van Gundy or Jose Canseco.

Being on this list is about the most publicity Dennis Kucinich has ever received.

Oh, good game from the offense yesterday.

Come on, Johnson is handsome in that Jaws from James Bond/Lurch/Kevin McHale way...

Ogie's problem with the list: Ric Flair. I mean, c'mon, it loses all credibility right there. Flair must have laid a beatdown on the guy that made this list or one of his friends. That's the only possible explanation.

Was Dog the Bounty Hunter a runner up? His soon-to-be wife would make the woman's list.

I always thought that George Foster of the Big Red Machine was pretty big on the ugly factor.

I wanna see a 100 Ugliest Women list. Politically incorrect, perhaps, but that could be just as hysterical. My vote goes to Hillary Clinton for this one.

Not-so-hot men, roster moves, and a pot-smoking holidy. All this and more in 10 pithy frames. Or a haiku:

unsexiest men
harris or stern, dilemma
smoky holiday

If you're going to talk about old ballplayers for the ugly list, you have to consider Oscar Gamble. I think that fro got TV reception! And as nice a guy as Jack Clark apparently is, handsome he is not.

Boneless, if you mention such a list and then start it with a pol, you pretty much have to start it with Janet Reno. Yes, she's an easy target, but not without reason.

The list would be hard to populate, though, since unattractive women don't pop up on one's radar. The list would be full of politicians, women's basketball players, Kathy Bates, and Rosie O'Donnell.

My vote for Ugliest Woman, Political Division: Katherine Harris. A homunculus with mascara.

(My lifelong ambition of using the word "homunculus" in a sentence is realized.)

What, no mention of Otis Nixon?

First time poster here. I find it hard to believe that Posada, with his Dumbo ears, sunken chin, and weak dink hits hasn't been mentioned in the Ugly Factor. Ditto with Jay Gibbons from the O's - guy looks like something out of Star Wars with the eyes on the side of his head.

Bob, Otis is #32 on the list.

HB, did you link the Phoenix list to cool off your female readers after the Tek ass themed strip from earlier. I'm gonna have nightmares with Gary Busey's lopsided face in them. He could have been a model for Oskar Kokoschka.

Pot smoking holiday (via dunster posting)? File this under 'how you know you are getting old'. My students asked if I was going to celebrate 420 day. What? I was completely clueless (and I am pro-NORML). My wife heard a segment on NPR about it and she was clueless as well. She asked our kids if they knew what it was. They asked what planet we lived on, having known about it for many years. Oh well. I bet the Spaceman was celebrating it (obligatory Redsox reference).

Otis was only ranked #32? Wow, I personally think he's the ugliest man in the history of sports. But I guess Randy Johnson is a worthy choice as well.

Not as windy today...I wonder if Wake would have enjoyed some of that tornado weather of yesterday.

It's been scientifically determined that last year's opening day was the ugliest matchup in sports history, with Wells vs. Johnson. One is about 400 pounds and sweats feverishly, the other guy combines a 70s porn moustache with a horrid mullet, or in his Yankee days, some thing, disgusting redneck hair.

And yet, the person I hated seeing the most in that game was Blaine Neal. Go figure.

What about Martin(a) Navratilova. (s)He should be at least in the top 20!

No list of ugliest females would be complete without Jocelyn Wildenstein, ex wife a billionaire New York art dealer. She started out looking quite normal, but has had plastic surgery that should have cost the surgeon his license. Just plain scary.

http://galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com/14/2005/08/jocelyn_wildens.html

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