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Turning up and turning down and turning in and turning 'round

So I'm actually willing to stand up and cheer him, throw confetti, ululate, I mean what the ever the fuck it takes to just make Johnny Damon stop talking about it.


Yeah, it's almost enough to make me feel a smidgen of sympathy for Yankees fans. I mean can you imagine if the situation was reversed and a formah Yankee was with the Red Sox but all he did 24/7 during spring camp was talk about his previous club?


It's more and more like a great meal being spoiled by a funny after-taste.


So if it's not bad enough that every four years we get chided as Americans for not taking enough interest in soccer, now we've got Massarotti bitching at us for not wetting our pants over the so-called World Baseball Classic.


Yeah, yeah, fans are too "skeptical" &8230; Hmmm, wonder why? You don't think this has anything to do with the fact that, you know, the whole thing is meaningless?


But, fuck, the Japanese are into it, so it must be legit, because, you know, the Japanese are such arbiters of good taste, what with all the seaweed as a food group and the vending machines dispensing school girl's used panties


Whoa, I'm with you on the seaweed, but I must confess, if some cunning capitalist opened a bura-sera shop on Newbury Street, Christ, I'd be one of their best customahs.


You sick fuck.


Yeah, I'd be all konichiwah'ing my ass in there saying, "I'm feeling dirty in a preppy sort of way … You got anything from a 2nd or 3rd year from an Andovah coed, maybe something sweaty from field hockey practice or something, shopkeepah-san?" Heh.


Dougie, Dougie, Dougie …


Hey, nobody is getting hurt. It's just the free mahket at work. Supply and demand and all that.



RIP Kirby Puckett

I spent two weeks in Japan two summers ago. This business with the girl's panties does not surprise me.

Sweet... an Andover reference

I just lost breakfast

When I saw the JD comment's at the Globe yesterday I knew it would be the focus today. JD does seem to have an unhealthy obsession with his former employer - it's about time for King George to call him in for a little chat.

I wouldn't blame the Yankees or their fans for being fed up either. It's like your girlfriend constantly talking about an ex - nobody wants to hear it.

Wow, Dougie unleashed! Great stuff...

Quintessential Soxaholix right here. A bit of baseball, a bit of media bashing, segueway into Japanese schoolgirl panties.


I expected HB to use this tidbit today. But I guess that would be like shooting fish in a barrel.

...or fish tacos

...or fish tacos

Groan. But "tastefully" done.

Maybe Larry Lucchino can use this idea for further supplemental revenue within the organization...

We'll know if we see a sudden influx of vending machines at The Fens any time soon!


The inevitable Haiku

Buru-sera Shops.
One shivers at what's to come.
Manny Jock sniffing?

Occam's razor explanation:

Damon is simply interested in restoring his reputation in New England. He wants to be well liked wherever he goes and wherever he's been.

As long as he hits about .400 in 19 games vs. the RS, he can proclaim his fond memories of the fragrance underneath Lucchino's scrotum as far as I'm concerned

"It's like your girlfriend constantly talking about an ex - nobody wants to hear it."

Ex. Act. Ly.

If things keep going the way they have been, Jay O., Damon will stand at the plate with the bat on his shoulder and jog after fly balls for 19 games. Y'know- because he wants Sox fans to like him and all...

Sleazy man's obsession with panties is hardly a japanese exception (although vendinf machines are odd). also, similarly, the "panty raid" is an ageless shenanigan of young american men.

The day Johnny Heartbreaker stops talking about the Red Sox will be the day EVERY MEMBER OF THE PRESS STOPS ASKING HIM ABOUT THE RED SOX.
Of course some of his former fans will ask, "Why doesn't that bastard talk about Boston anymore? How could he so easily forget us?"

Andy Pettitte won how many championships with the Yankees, and did anybody blast him for leaving? Did anybody burn their Pettitte shirts in the streets of NY?
Granted, Pettitte didn't go to the Red Sox, but the reaction wouldn't be much different (see the mostly indifferent NY reactions to Cone, Wells, Mendoza, who went to Boston after winning championships in NY and received only some dispassionate boos from Yankee fans).

Remember, as Diane Chambers explained to Sam Mallone, "The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference."
To which, Sam replied, "Well, whatever you say, I really don't care..."


Don't mean to pick on you, but it's kind of ironic to be speaking of "indifference" while, you know, being a Yankees fan posting on a Red Sox fan site.

Know what I mean?

And was it you or another Yankees fan who questioned the notion raised that teh Red Sox didn't really try to hard to keep Damon? Well, Damon's "I was disrespected by Boston" quote is futher evidence that at least Damon feels that is the case.

Meanwhile, the more Damon goes on and on, the easier it is to have fun with it. And that's always a good thing for me.

Flog, flog, scourge, flog, flog.

As befell the Romans, Damon seeks to engage the minds of the people of Boston with his anecdotes of truth and tyrrany, to turn our allegiance to a higher authority (i.e. the rationality of a decision to go with Steinbrenner's deep pockets).

Don't believe the hype. Damon's just trying to get in everyone's heads. When Jesus did it, this lead to 2000 years of Christianity. We don't want that with Damon, it's probably best just to ignore him from now on.

What would be more interesting to talk about is the relative distance of the center field wall from the infield in Yankees Stadium compared to Fenway. Unless mouthing off about contract negotiations is some sort of secret Far Eastern method for strengthening one's arm and response time, that boy is going to have a bad time in the outfield and make Bernie Williams look like a good defensive option.


"some of his former fans will ask, "Why doesn't that bastard talk about Boston anymore? How could he so easily forget us?"

yeah- you've definitely been hearing a lot of that around here, huh? Your arguments in this matter are increasingly blind to one side of the argument. Wells/Cone/Mendoza = not in same boat as Pettite. If Andy would've come to the Hub after the yankers kicked him to the curb, I'm sure he would've been booed mercilessly every time he laced 'em up in the bronx.

Speaking of indifference, if find it pretty hypocritical that you always seem to pipe up about the fact that Boston fans won't shut up about JD. Seems you've got quite a bit to say on the subject yourself.

Pot, meet kettle.

Johnny Muhammed wears his anal crevice as a hat, ladies and gentlemen. Let him dance in the corner alone. But really, shouldn't the main act begin soon?

0.400 vs Red Sox pitching this year? Don't be ridicularius. (as the Romans would say)

Clearly I'm not 'indifferent' to your Soxaholix site, and I don't 'hate' any baseball team.
The rivalry's all in good fun to me.
Damon? From what I saw, he was a great player for the Red Sox, and seemed to be well-liked by everybody.
If I was running the Red Sox, I would have matched the Yanks' offer, (which was about half of what Damon was originally asking for, right?) or come up with enough cash to keep him there, or at least made Damon feel like he was getting the best possible offer.
But that's how I am. I'm a Bernie Williams fan, one of the ones who's still glad the Yanks kept him around all these years. Know what I mean?

I hear ya, Babe, but, and I don't mean this to discredit your feelings toward Bernie et al, but it's a whole heckuva lot easier to have that "ah, keep 'em all forever who cares about a few million dollars" when you root for the New York Yankees.

Yes, yes, Boston has a high payroll, but, still, the Yankees are at another level altogether.

As Theo said when he first became GM, the Red Sox will never outspend the Yankees, all they can hope to do is outsmart the Yankees.

So far, so good on that front.

Resigning Damon by matching the Yankees offer is exactly the kind of move that would doom the Red Sox. And it's the kind of move the previous Sox FO's would have made and it's one of the big reasons why those previous regimes never won a World Series.

It's funny to hear you say that's what you'd have done if you were running the Red Sox. And I think the lure of trying to run a team "Yankee style" is enticing, but it can only work for the Yankees (and, frankly, it isn't working particuarly well for the Yankees lately.)

Thankfully, Theo et al, have the self-confidence to follow their own way.

To add to h.b.'s comments, adjusting for the cost of living in Downtown Boston vs. Manhattan, the Red Sox offer was actually higher than the Yankees. Of course, Damon is a self-proclaimed idiot...

The day Johnny Heartbreaker stops talking about the Red Sox will be the day EVERY MEMBER OF THE PRESS STOPS ASKING HIM ABOUT THE RED SOX.

... except CHB.

Andy Pettitte won how many championships with the Yankees, and did anybody blast him for leaving?

I don't seem to remember Pettitte swearing up and down that he would never sign with the Sox, then turn around and do it.

You're a pathetic moron.

As for the strip, kudos for the Andovah reference, as an alum I guess I can understand the appeal.

I love the WBC, and I can't imagine a Sox fan could listen to the beginning of this game when Papi smashed that homer to center field to give the DR a lead.

our lack of interest may have something less to do with our american xenophobia and something more to do with the fact that the games are not being televised any time other than 2 am and 4 pm ET. many of us have to work for a living.

Babe -

Yes, Damon was popular and well liked. I disagree with you about the Sox trying to match a Yankees offer, and there is a logical basis for why.

The way I see it, the Yankees spent way too much on Damon and received a player of limited value to the team. For one, Damon does not have a strong arm in the outfield and is only going to be so good defensively. If I were a sabermetrician, which I am not, I would tie the fact teams are going to hit more doubles into win shares and present you with and interesting cost value proposition to chew on.

Secondly, offensively, Damon does have his struggles. He has hot and cold spells like any other player, but they tend to be tied closely to physical performance on the field. Damon takes a lot of bruises, which is nice to see as a fan but horrible to see as a manager. If there was ever a player I thought was due for a career ending injury it is Damon - he's going to run into the wrong wall someday and performance is going to decline. This could be this year, it could be next year, but the Yankees have him on a multi year contract. There is a huge risk in terms of loss of value, and the Red Sox protected themselves adequately by not trying to match a Yankees offer.

Third, Damon really peaked last year. There is a tendency in baseball for players to do that and never do it again. Considering his age, playing style, actual numbers during times he has played injured, and other factors, there are a lot of things that would need to go right in order for him to keep up his offensive output over the lifetime of the contract with the Yankees. Good managers do not look at facts like this, then try to pay top dollar for that player.

We will see how it all plays out, but the odds are Damon is going to stay good for a season or two then there will be a substantial loss of value in that contract based on performance and playing time. The Yankees do have a style of management their teams where they hire the most expensive gun out there then getting only a season or two of good performance on a multi-year contract (there are so many names I wouldn't know where to start). If collateral dimensions to the deal - feeling like someone is appreciated, having the highest dollar value associated with your name - are a basis for making decisions, that is not necessarily someone who belongs on the Red Sox, because the management philosophy is very different.

Now, the mouth of Damon is another thing altogether. You are right to point out that Damon is receiving an undue amount of media coverage and what he says is travelling farther than it should. If only there was a stat for measuring media penetration that added up to wins for the Yankees...


In other news...

Barry Bonds is being outed by Sports Illustrated (no, not Brokeback-style outed)

John Flaherty just retired (according to the Globe's Chris Snow)

Right hb, exactly...the Yankee style....Cashman and Gene Michael are bound to continue mismanaging the Yankees, including:
-cutting 20m from the 2006 payroll
-restocking the bullpen for less combined $$ than BJ Ryan's 2006 salary.
-signing the best available CF, with the fringe benefit of dealing BOS a huge short term PR defeat.
-A farm system with several solid prospects.

I think you're right: With Epstein's and Lucchino's independence and self confidence as your vanguard, you have nothing to worry about.

Brief hypothesis, if the RS drop 20 million on Clemens, I doubt I'll hear much teeth-gnashing among RSN about how we've fallen in to "Yankee Style", this fine site included....

Jason -

If the Sox land a deal with Clemens, they become the odds on favorite to win the world series. Big risk with a huge upside. Everyone would like to see that.

But the things you cite about the Yankees are nothing to be excited about.

- I wouldn't be too keen to talk about slashing all that payroll, a big reason why it was so high was the signing of defunct, has-been players like Kevin Brown. This is more of relieving themselves of dead weight to hire actual players.

- The Yankees bullpen was restocked last year. They were supposed to be a pitching juggernaut. What, didn't they go through 33 of them or something? The fact they spent more money on more pitchers is nothing to write home about.

- Getting the best available CF, for reasons I alluded to above, can have its downside.

- And the Yankees farm system does look great. Can't wait to get some of those players in Red Sox uniforms when the Yankees trade for the next broken down old ace. There was a time when the Yankees farm system was something impressive, it's where O'Neill, Brocious, Williams and a bunch of other guys became friends and moved up through the ranks. Do not confuse that Yankees farm system with the one you have now, Cashman likes to trade prospects for free agents.

From the outside, it looks like common sense comes in cycles in the Bronx.



Well, I wouldn't expect you to not like your team's moves.

Still not sure why they didn't sign Carlos Beltran when he was the best CF available.

As for Clemens, Christ, didn't the characters already wipe their asses on the notion of that deal? (Honestly, I forget what I write about 2 mins after hitting the publish button, so I could be wrong.)

And when the sign Clemens thing comes up on SoSH it's like 9-1 comments against it with lots of vitriol thrown in.

As for Epstein and Lucchino, well, we do have a recent WS pennant flying over Fenway, so, yeah, I'll let them be my vanguard a wee bit longer.

Jason just reminded me, with Kevin Brown - who do you think won, him or the wall?


hb trumpets a "recent WS flag" flying above Fenway? Was I living in an alternate universe all these years when the chief complaint re: Yankees fans is that all they talked about was the past?

"Act like you've been there before, son."
-Joe Paterno, to an end zone dancing player.

Oh, man, that's a cheap shot. You tell me I'm a fool for having faith in the current FO and then when I point out that it's this current FO that provided the first WS in 87 years and the first in my life time, you say I'm living in the past.

OK, yeah, it's the past. But that's sorta kinda how you evaluate people's performance, no?

I'd hate to be someone who works for you Jason, because, what, I could do great work for 3 years but you'd fire me for coming in late one morning because you're "living in the present" and fuck what I did in the past?


Sentiment's correct, but the names are wrong--Brosius came up with the A's, and O'Neill with the Reds. You still have a valid point, and that dynasty was fueled by guys who came up together...but I didn't want you to be corrected by a Yankee fan who assumed because you got two names wrong, the whole post was wrong.

That farm system is a shadow of what it once was--no depth whatsoever, and a few marginally taleneted prospects hyped to artificial levels. It's easy to recognize, because it's the same situation Boston had in the late 90's, when guys like Dernell Stenson, Michael Coleman, and Robinson Checo were the Eric Duncan and Phillip Hughes of today.

Jay- lemme put a twist on your argument

-cutting 15m from the 2006 payroll
-restocking the bullpen with four quality arms for 2m less than the skank's two (one of whom will pitch to exactly one batter per game, another of whom won't be pitching until may).
-trading for best available CF, with the fringe benefit of getting a younger version of Damon for a third the price
-A farm system with several (more) solid prospects.

Now we're talkin'- looks to me like the yankers are following the Red Sox business model. Too bad their starting pitching leaves MUCH to be desired.

Man, the way you guys describe Damon, you present such a strong case as to why his departure should be either ignored, or wildly celebrated by Red Sox fans, but that doesn't seem to be happening yet.

Guess the Yanks will have to take young Frugal McDoogal's broken G.I. Johnny doll from the scrap heap, and see what they can do with him.

Oh, look, a bargain! Chacon beat Radke today as the Yanks shutout the Twins 5-0 (Farnsworth and Rivera pitched in too). Ain't it great to have a closah -- or two?

PAPI RULES! And that Dominican lineup is a real murderers' row. If they had Manny out there, they would have invoked the blowout rule by now.

Meanwhile, some guy is sending me emails saying how much today's strip offends him.

Man, lucky he hasn't seen the really over the top strips, eh?

Actually surprised I don't get more of that all things considered.

Babe -

No one is saying Johnny is ripped up. Everyone's saying he's not a good bet for a big money, long term contract. Big difference.


I am so sick and tired of articles about Johnny Damon. Yeah I would have like to keep him, but not for the money that Georgie $teinbucks is doling out. Coco Crisp will be more than adequate for the money. As a Sox fan I'm annoyed that Damon went to the Crankees, but if he wants that kind of money that's the only place he can go. I understand all $13 million of the reasons why he doesn't think he got enough "respect" in Boston, okay? I get it, I get it, I get it.
Can't he just shut his yap or make nice to his new fans and ignore his old ones? When he comes to Fenway, just take the boos like a man -- a very, very well-paid man. That's that.
To paraphrase another Johnny whose Public Image was Limited: Damon this and Damon that. I don't want to pay that stupid brat. I don't want a center fielder who gets paid like that; not for a center fielder who throws like that.

hb -

I, for one, am always offended every time you launch one of your underhanded attacks on curling.


Thanks HB for showing us the REAL reason Johnny is a Yankee. It's because he heard about the vending machine that Matsui installed in the NY clubhouse.

hai hb-san domo arigato.

I'm offended I only laughed out loud ten times during today's strip!
"konichiwah'ing my ass..". Priceless.

Someone was offended by today's strip? Was his name Pat Robertson or Alberto Gonzales? I personally found it to be rather enlightening - always nice to learn about different cultures. Reading all the links should qualify one for 3 credits of Antho. 101.

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto!

Can you say Adam STERN! This kid can play...

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