La Isla Bonita

Steve:
Seeing the gargantuan presence that is David Ortiz wearing the Dominican uniform while hammering homers gave me a sense of what it must be like to be a fan a team the Red Sox are facing when Big Papi strides to the plate. And that feeling is fear. Absolute total fear.

 

---

Doug:
Absolutely. When he's on your team, he's the lovable, gentle giant, clutch mastah, and embodiment of all that is Red Sox goodness. Looking at Ortiz from the othah side and he's all like some murderous club wielding Orc from Mordor.

 

---

Steve:
I still can't believe the Twins just released Ortiz and any team could have claimed him but it was our own uber-savvy, young Theo Epstein who swept him up and changed the course of baseball history forever.

 

---

Doug:
You know, legend has it that it was Petey who alerted Epstein to Papi and that's why the Red Sox nabbed him.

 

---

Steve:
I so heart the Dominican Republic.

 

---

Doug:
Forget Cabo, forget Cancun, and St. Kitts, and Jamaica and the rest — from now on, New Englandahs looking for a wintah getaway or honeymoon or whatevah should forevahmore consider only one place: The island nation of the Dominican Republic to whom we owe so, so mucho.

 

---

Comments

[IkeG]

Whoa ... we were figuring that it'd be Papi raining on USA's parade and it's Sterno the Stove? Whattup, Adam, eh?

Ortiz 2 HR, Timlin W, Tek GS, Stern near-cycle ... good show so far, fellas!

[Sean O]

I love how the rest of the community bitches for months between Theo leaving and Theo coming back, saying how the team is screwed while I defend them, and now I'm the only one who's wrong. That's freaking hilarious.

About the Wonder Twins comment, I was being facetious. I once thought Red Sox fans had at least some sense of humor, but obviously I'm mistaken.

About Cashman, by "bailing out" Theo, I mean that Cashman's total lack of sense has kept the Yankees from winning ten straight. Even with the moves I reasonably consider him having made without the boss looking over his shoulder, he's horrible at his job.

And the defense you can really come up with about the Cabrera trade, instead of stats, or money, or any other objective basis, is "99 out of 100 sox fans think it's true?" C'mon.

I find it odd that Sox fans, and rightfully so, trash Yankees fans for worshipping Jeter's "intangibles" (side note: his intangibles are helping the US this week, aren't they?), while turning around and lauding everything Theo does. I'm shocked people don't realize how many horrible moves he's made, and how often he's narrowly averted some terrible moves.

Side note: Stern's performance tonight, magnificent. And right before Tek launched it, I just realized Tek never had a grand slam before. Awesome, while the Yankees continue to choke.

[Devine]

Didn't Varitek hit one (a grand slam) last year during the summer sometime? I think he'd had zero up to that point.

I think Jeter being called "Captain Intangibles" might be mildly overblown (though it *is* funny). He's certainly a sub-par defensive shortstop from all stats, but he's a (*checks*) .314 lifetime hitter with no full season of less than .291. Pretty tangible. Same lifetime average as Manny, albeit with lots less power.