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Final Friday of Spring Training (At last!)

Mike:
Well, now that she's been released I can finally say it: I think that Jill Carroll chick is kinda hot.

 

Doug:
The brainwashed chick in the head scarf and wonky glassed? Ohmigod, no.

 

Mike:
You got a problem with that?

 

Doug:
You're friggin' whacked, guy. Why can't you just stick with lusting after Hazel Mae like any normal horny Red Sox fan?

 

Mike:
See I don't like to mix the two worlds … I mean if I've got a celebrity crush for Hazel Mae and I've got the man love for Manny Ramirez, but then on TV Hazel Mae is interviewing Manny, well, it just gets weird.

 

Doug:
Well, shit, maybe you can get a job as Jill Carroll's drivah. I hear there's an opening.

 

Mike:
That's cold, dude. Really cold.

 

Doug:
Yeah, well, here's some man bites dog news for you: Tavarez pitched an inning yesterday and shows incredible restraint in not going totally apeshit on anyone. Whoo-hoo!

 

Mike:
Hey, we're just lucky Tavarez and A-Rod have never joined forces. The ball slap combined with the girlie punch would just be too much of a 1-2 beating for any man to withstand.

 

Doug:
You know the guy Tavarez punched, Gathright, has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do? Tavarez is lucky Gathright didn't go all Kill Bill on his ugly ass.

 

Mike:
I shouldn't root against my own team, but I'd pay scalpah prices to see that. I've got a really bad feeling about Tavarez.

 

Doug:
Yeah, right now on Yawkey way I can imagine this conversation: "Hello, Voros? Yeah, it's Theo. Whatever you're working on drop it. I want you 100% on developing a probabalistic model of guys going totally CoocooBananas. And hurry."

 

Comments

We made it. Happy end of Spring Training.

lc

Hmmm...Jill Carroll or Hazel. One need only to click on the link h.b. has so generously provided. How Knuckles Lucchino pulled that interview off w/a straight face......

Has anyone looked at Surviving Grady today. It's an attempt at a clip art blog....mildy amusing, but not in the Soxaholix league.

"Tavarez is lucky Gathright didn't go all Kill Bill on his ugly ass"
Best line of the week, h.b.

Voros no longer works for the Sox. Left last summer.

It looks like Hazel Mae has stuffed my two year old's butt in what is trying very hard to be a shirt.

dude, wtf? Hazel Mae? I used to think she was kinda cute, but those photos....daaaaaaaang. I totally wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

Tavarez may be a nutball, but he's OUT nutball. I personally am waiting for the soon-to-be-fabled bout between him and Sheffield the first time he runs a fastball in on his hands.

Hey HB.
The Veros link actually points to the tavarez Ap story. Didn't know if that was intentional or not
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/graphics/03_28_06_tavarez/

Re:Tavarez...the punching form wasn't bad. Good shoulder turn, elbow in, eyes on the target...he does need to tuck his thumb,though.

I like that we are starting out all crazy this year. The always-on-the-edge-of-mayhem makes the baseball more fun.

ISDE: Yes, he's our nut, but I get the sense Tavares is not the type to stand face to face w/someone. I think a "clear-fueled" Sheff might just pull his head off. Even if Seanez part 2 is the same as part 1, we may need him around as an equalizer.

Thanks h.b., for getting us through another long winter............

"It looks like Hazel Mae has stuffed my two year old's butt in what is trying very hard to be a shirt."

I knew I came to work early for a reason. Haven't had any coffee yet Nola, and that made my day.

Holy schneikes though, what is she wearing in that picture- a bikini? Not that I'm complaining or anything...

Here's to the end of what has unquestionably been the longest offseason in the history of baseball (or since I started paying attention to such things). Chalk it up to the BoSox-less ALCS/ WS last year, the WBC, a shift in the earth's axis, whatever. It's finally over.

Bring. On. Baseball.

NV in SD - no kidding. Longest offseason ever. Red Sox getting assraped by the Other Sox in early October, Broncos eliminated in mid-January, Nuggets still as boring as ever, Winter Olympics were a joke (I think I watched about one hour, total, of Olympic coverage) and I've stopped caring about hockey. If it wasn't for my girlfriend, I might've just killed myself on Valentine's Day to make the pain stop.

Baseball, sweet baseball... I'll be at Coors Field in 76 hours. Can't wait.

Soxaholix serve up Hazel Mae on a Friday during Lent? Who knew this was going to happen, when did they know, and why was it allowed? I demand an investigation, Brachen.

ESPN El Spanisho, or whatever it's called, is reporting that Papi is about to sign a 4 year extention for 12.5 mil a year. VERY good news.

I just heard that Arroyo might be coming back! The end of spring training and Arroyo, I have died and gone to heaven.....what a great Friday!

Babe: Just call it "Good Friday"

She's no John Stirling mind you, but we manage to get by.

Knockers win, thu-u-u-u-u knockers win

Hey, I always planned to devote an hour sometime to finding some good "Hazel Mae cleavage" pictures (thanks, h.b.!). Lately, it seems to be Vietnamese, Laosean(sp?), and Filipino women who are doing it for me.

Jill Carroll vs Hazel...

I dunno, does the fact that Jill also has atwin sister (halfway down page, with VIDEO)...because that might sway some minds.

Personally, I dunno why you're making me choose! I live my fantasies to the fullest.

mmmmm...Hazel Mae. Pardon me while I wipe the saliva from the keyboard...qaz3xsw4ecd5r6fvtbg7ynh8umj9ik,o.lp;..okay, better now. Those of us in New England have the added benefit of seeing those yabows almost every morning on NESN. But I definitely agree with Bill about the Man-crush stuff, but I have plenty of lush to go around. I am ready for the menage a dix when she interviews the whole team.

August can't get here soon enough, especially since I've heard from many sources that Monsta' seats are probably the best seats in all of baseball. Best birthday present I've ever given my dad...and myself. Play Ball!

I ran in to Hazel at Vox Populi in Boston about 2 weeks after she started on NESN. She and two other good looking females were at a table in the bar area upstairs, and she was not a recognizable Boston personality at that point...I was feeling a lot of "DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???" vibes from the table...I told her good luck and got a thank you.

Regarding "cornrow" coming back.
Anybody else believe this?
http://www.manchesterjournal.com/headlines/ci_3659526

Manchester Journal seems to be the only one that is reporting this and there is no buzz on SOSH on it yet either. If this is true, it certainly makes me personally happy. I love Cornrows. The trade kind of makes sense to me, but I'm not one of these stat savants. Wells, for 2006 is conceptually an upgrade in the rotation over Arroyo assuming he stays healthy. Choi has more pop then Hatteburg and is 9 years younger.

That has to be to good to be true...

Oh & if my non-lesbonic vote counts, I'd go for the lovely Miss Hazel Mae.

Don't you boys want a chick you can talk baseball with & not have to have your little heads worrying about such trival matters of the world outside of the diamond?

That article smells to high heaven of an April Fool's joke.

I agree that it sounds funny. We trade Arroyo and then a matter of days later reacquire him.

I'm leaning against a prank at the moment for no other reason then the fact that I am reasonably sure that they use the same calendar in VT that the rest of us use.

If I can take one more step out on this limb, a scenario to entertain. Sox trade Arroyo for WMP because the Reds won't go straight up for Wells due to age etc and the Sox love WMP. Choi hits waviers and the Sox grab him, which allows them to present a sweetened package to the Reds to snare Arroyo back using essentially a spare part that was guaranteed to head to Pawtucket. They added the cash when Julian 'I make all of you look as good as Hazel Mae' Tavarez forgets he is a pitcher and not a boxer.

Now that I've typed all that, I'll find out it is a bogus rumor smoked up by one of the cows at the Ben and Jerry's factory...

Hey Devine, too much information, know what I'm sayin'? If my memory doesn't fail me, I think Hazel was first officially declared a hottie on Soxaholix, long before that shlock "Fever Pitch" was ever screened...

Then let me further revile you.

(Was it the "looking for cleavage" bit that put you off? I mean, I've looked for much "worse" on the internet, though I guess it's not comfy to say that, either. Ah well. As long as the SO doesn't care.)

I think Fever Pitch is...not bad. Parts of it make me puke (particularly Barrymore's parting line, some of the sappier sap, etc.), but the core issue of a guy extremely devoted to the Red Sox and that hampering his ability to deal with any relationship (romantic or otherwise) or event not directly tied into the team...well, that part of it seemed approximately accurate and worth exploring in a story. Like I said, some of it could have been handled better, but I ended up liking it well enough. You could chalk this up, though, to me only being on board the bandwagon for a few years.

And I was okay with Jimmy Fallon, not great, but okay. (Could have done without them filming that shit at the end of Game 4 of the WS, though--at least don't *show* me that they're filming it, Fox, and thereby mildly mar one of the greatest sports events of my life.)

Hilarious stuff as usual, except for the driver line.

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