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At one with it all

Sometimes you have to get all deep and introspective …

Mike:
Holy shit, is it possible, Johnny Damon has almost, kinda, sorta, got the message and is starting to speak without crying about his mistreatment or how stupid the Red Sox are for not keeping the Idiots together forever?

 

Doug:
You know what, guy, I think there's something wrong with me … I mean seeing Damon leading off for the Yankees, seeing him hugging Manny, I was totally fine with it. No angah. No animosity. No "why is this happening to us?!?!" What the fuck?

 

Mike:
Dude, you are so going to be OK. This is life as a Red Sox fan aftah winning the World Series. We no longah are compelled to act retahded and go totally ape shit over every little thing.

 

Doug:
So all the media pudnuts' prophecies were right: I've lost my passion, lost my identity as a Red Sox fan and shit?

 

Mike:
Not at all. I mean if you'd lost all that you wouldn't even be here right now wondahring about this.

 

Doug:
Well, how come I didn't feel this last befoah like last last season?

 

Mike:
Last season we were all too high, still all caught up in the euphoria of '04 to know our ass from our elbows. Now we've passed onto a higher plane of fan existence. Just flow with it, guy.

 

Doug:
Feels freaky. I mean what's next, am I going to start sitting down to take a piss?

 

Mike:
Well, if you do, don't blame the Red Sox … Look, it's like this. Remembah back in middle school befoah you evah made out with someone? I don't know about you, but I was totally worried about it, like I wouldn't know how to do right or whatevah. So I'd do crazy shit like practice kissing in front of a mirror, or kissing my fist, and everyday I'd be like, "Oh, Christ, what if it nevah happens? What if I'm cursed and will go through my whole life nevah knowing what it feels like?" Totally obsessing and what not.

 

Mike:
And then, heaven forbid, I was, you know, evah actually around a girl because then I'd totally whig out and staht saying wicked stupid stuff …

 

Doug:
Or you'd pop a bonah at the most inopportune time and have to contort yourself in a lame effaht to hid it?

 

Mike:
Exactly! Then remembah when it finally happened, your first serious make out session?

 

Doug:
Cathy Rouleaux in the basement of St. Leo's!

 

Mike:
Er, OK, nice details and all, but now remembah how you felt aftahwahds. I mean you didn't want to stop making out with chicks didya?

 

Doug:
Fuck no. Only made me want moah of that action.

 

Mike:
Right, but you also probably felt a whole lot coolah and chahming the ladies all of a sudden has new meaning. It's no longah a question of "How?" or "Will I?" but rathah, "Oh, yeah, it's on and I'm just going to get bettah and bettah at it." No feah. No worry. No acting retahded.

 

Doug:
At one with the long bus ride bonah?

 

Mike:
Absolutely. And that's where we're at now, metaphorically.

 

Comments

//At one with the long bus ride bonah?//

I'm just glad my coffee was consumed a while ago, otherwise I would have spewed it all over my laptop. As it is, the tears of laugher are making it hard enough to read what I'm typing here.

Cathy Rouleaux, exactly.

We are mature individuals with peaceful thoughts of the wonderful, graceful game played on green fields among Titans of sport.

Michelle's cans? pish posh, not my concern.

DLo's appetitite for anything with a vulva? I have moved on.

Minky and the ball? Ahhh, not a problem.

Cowboy up? Saw that movie.

No, friends, as the Scion of Soxdom, hb, has demonstrated (no wait it's the CHARACTERS), there is not angst, only joy; no fear, only love. We in RSN have no need for boner pills, for we have WMP, MR24, JT, Wake, Pap, The Captain, Schill, Trot, Loretta and Coco.

That doesn't sound gay, does it?


Meanwhile.....

Holy crap, has Lost begun to suck. Ok, Sawyer reading Judy Blume was cute, and the Korean chick can prance around in that green thing all day long as fair as I am concerned. But, do we really care if Jin is shooting blanks or Sun hit the Korean Lex Luthor looking guy? I’m holding out for Immaculate Conception, myself. Heh, that would advance the plot. Um, what plot?

Maybe while the J.J. Abrams was off directing the poster boy for The Super Adventure Club in Mission Impossible III, everything got away from him, but at this point count me out.

Glad you like today's, COD!

Now, of course, I can't resist getting dragged into the Lost discussion lou started...

I really enjoyed last night's episode. Definitely think the island "cured" Jin's problem of shooting blanks just as it gave Locke the ability to walk.

Enjoyed too just the wiseass nature of the ballon man prisoner. The guy has some excellent Masshole qualities. Hah.

Boy, does that bring back some "squirming in the chair" memories from the good old days....

I was squirming just reading it:)

I gotta side with LC on Lost last night. I'm rapidly losing interest.

However, I don't think Sun hit Lex Luther, and even if she did...they weren't real clear on when exactly the language lessons were taking place.

Language lessons - Better off Dead reference?

Even if it were just before they left...that would still make her about 10 weeks pregnant, right? Shouldn't she have noticed well before now? However, since Jin seems all happy, I have to assume some action in their tent on the island that would rule out an immaculate conception.

Nothing like your first kiss with a girl you like/respect/pop wood over to make you feel like a pimp. I'm not entirely sure I follow the metaphor, hb, but good strip regardless.

Lost was good (made better by the shar-pei in the episode... soooooo cute :D), but how many damn Sun/Jin flashback episodes are we up to now? 4? Give me more Hurley or Eko or tell us how the hell Locke lost his ability to walk already!

I love this strip very much.

...and Better Off Dead.

"So you tell me which is worse. Speaking no English at all or speaking Howard Cosell."

I think Sun is only very recently preggers via Jin. One thing that pushed me to this belief was Jack's reference to preg tests showing false positive in the very first few weeks of pregnancy.

As for needing more answers to questions, that is exactly the role the balloon man is playing. It's the writers' way of saying, see how annoying it'd be if everyone was asking questions all the time?

Watching Lost is kind of like watching the Red Sox (or the Pats for that matter) offseason moves. Just sit back and relax. Don't obsess with knowing the myriad details behind every single move.

It's meant to be fun.

Which reminds me, the "Dharma branded cereal" was so funny and, IMO, was a way for the writers to say, it's just a show. Don't get too serious about it all.

Better Off Dead- AWESOME: "Frahch fries, Frahch dressing, Frahch bread, and to drink...Peru!"

Great strip, h.b. And to carry your metaphor out, I wouldn't mind if we were giving the opportunity to become raging sluts :)

Wily Mo Pena - HR and a killer throw to second, I'm on that bandwagon.

Anyone else worried that Lowell is the new Nomah? First inning two on, and it's a popup. Bottom of the first, and he boots it.

Anybody else catch Mike & Mike in the Morning on ESPN News? They had an amazing stat about what teams owe their current players over the next five years (guaranteed money). Naturally, the Skankees are at the top, at $425 million. Next? The Blue Jays at $195 mil. The Red Sox are at $95 mil I think. Which is LESS than what the Yankees owe one player: Slappy McBluelips.

This strip is a promising sign, because I believe that the denizens of this site are on the leading edge of the curve for RSN:

Could we be seeing a repeat of the 4th century? After six centuries of defeats by the legions, Germanic tribes finally penetrate Gaul. Instead of raping/killing/pillaging, their leaders realize that becoming civilized and enjoying the advanced culture of the empire is an infinitely better option....

So, like the Goths, after being shut out for a long time, is today's strip a sign that RSN is ready to join the club? One can hope....

"^I think Sun is only very recently preggers via Jin. One thing that pushed me to this belief was Jack's reference to preg tests showing false positive in the very first few weeks of pregnancy.^"

I actually took this to mean that the (apparent) pregnancy was much farther along, in that she seemed quite convinced that it was reliable after Jack said that.

Ok, I guess I care more than I was willing to admit.

lc

Good point, Lou. I retract my earlier guess.

Also more support for the conception occurring earlier from a preggers site:

"Typically, morning sickness starts around 6 weeks of the pregnancy (or about 2 weeks after the period was due) and continues until about 12 to 14 weeks of the pregnancy. However, morning sickness may start later than 6 weeks and may continue until 16 to 20 weeks of the pregnancy (and occasionally beyond)."

How long have then been no the island now, 55, 56 days? That's about 8 weeks.

I still stand by my Jin is the father idea and believe Sun didn't have a go with baldy guy.

So if we're just now ready to join "the club" what did that make us before?

Debbie DiMartino. 5'9", curves, long straight brunette hair. Had a bit of that Roman nose, but just a bit.

Ok, now I am thinking about this way too much:

If you think that Jin's boys became men only on the island...


Jin was pissed at her for several "weeks" (in "Lost time" I mean).

Before that, everybody was in close quarters on the beach freaked out by the "crash" and their circumstances. That's not much oppurtinuty to 은신처를 논 살라미 소시지 (play hide the salami).

Thereafter, Jin was on the raft for a good long time.

I'm gonna stick with Immaculate Conception.

$95 mil over the next five years owed to Sox players? What are we paying the good majority of them with, Monopoly money? I thought we were close to the Skanks in payroll, what happened? Where can I find a list of the current MLB payrolls? Because that's amazing. We have so much talent but we're spending such little money compared to the Yanks.

P.S. I loved the strip today, HB. I wish I was as awesome as you, but that will never happen.

P.P.S. The show Lost sucks balls, and I don't watch TV except for the Sox, Pats, Bruins, and Revolution. In that order. When they're actually on tv down here in Philly, that is.

It's an interesting analogy you make (anticipating the 2004 Sox championship vs. anticipating your first kiss). Thinking back to my first time, there were those awkward moments when I'd be around a cute girl and feel like an idiot. And along with popping a boner, my nuts would feel like the size of Saturn. But then, I'd reassure myself, saying "Why Not Me?"

re Jin/Sun and time for boom-chicka bam bam...

+ They were the first to get their own little tent set up when they moved to the caves which took place around day 5-6.

+ Yes, they had some rocky moments but also some tenderness. Also, knowing Jin's personality combined with the fact that he kept thinking there might be something between Sun and Michael (not so much sexual, but definitely w/r/t communication) I can see him getting forceful with Sun sexually just to make the point that he's "the man" and still the boss.

+ They were only on the raft for 24 hours and then another 7-8 days with the Tailaways before reuniting.

Of course, this being the island, I'm not ruling out the immaculate thing.

Bob, the other side of that coin (that the Sox owe a paltry $95 mil to their players over the next 5) is that a lot of those players become free agents sooner. Now, depending on the player, and your point of view, that might be a good thing or a bad thing; but for talk radio, it's always a bad thing. Lock a guy up for a few years and his contract is dragging the club down; Sign him for one or two and it's all "he'll test the market and give them a hard time re-signing him". For all the talk radio shows, every silver lining's got a touch of grey.

Yeah, I saw the 95mil figure as a positive.

The Red Sox moves have for the most part had a heavy emph on flexibility.

The one deviation from this is Renteria, which they got out of as quick as they came to their senses (and/or somebody one the power struggle between signing big name players for marketting value vs signing players for the overall good/future of the club).

I had a 2003 before I had my 2004. Awkward false start that could have been special if I'd only done one or two things differently.

There was a bigger gap between my 2003 and 2004 than the Sox. Ugh.

I can't say that I'm convinced on the validity of the $95 mil number. I'm guessing it dosen't include this season, as the Sox payroll is well above that. Who do we have locked up for the forseeable future?

After the conclusion of this season:
Ortiz for at least one more
Schill for one more
Clement for one more
Manny for at least two more
Pena for two more
Beckett for one more (?)
Coco for two (three?) more
Tek for two more
Youk for ? more

That seems to be about it. Between Manny, Schill, Tek, and Clement, that's about $80mil. It is somewhat concerning, though, that we only have a couple pitchers (not counting the young guns) tied up.

Of course, I'm probably getting way ahead of myself...

Excellent strip today, hb. What is it with Québécois being first kisses of boys from the Commonwealth...hell, I'm in Doug's clud: Lisa Boudeur. After 30 years, I've gone full-circle...the current Tito's GF is a canuck, too.

Anyway, is there room on the Willie Mo bandwagon 'cuz I'm jumping on!

As for being the 'barbarians at the gates', I'd rather be a nobel savage than a member of a bloated, amoral, decaying Empire anyday. Anyone up for some pillaging?

Got your new t-shirt design HB:

Cathy Rouleaux on the front and At one with the long bus ride bonah on the back.

The mantra for a new generation of RSN.

I'd fork over some dough for that.

Some pundits did think that the Red Sox would lose some of their mystique and charm by actually winning the WS, but I think we have still manage to maintain our underdog status. As for lost, it was great. Henry Gale, has a big ass, by saying if he was one of the others he would have set a trap for them. Loved it.
Jennay

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