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License to Kill

 

Mike:
Schill looks good though. I love those flip flops he's wearing.

 

Doug:
Get this. The othah night I'm watching the James Bond festival on AMC and Goldfingah comes on and I'm like, "Holy Shit, Auric Goldfinger looks just like Curt Schilling."

 

Mike:
Awesome. And Schilling's got the whole Goldfingah swaggah, too …

"Do you expect me to strikeout, Schilling?"

"No, Mr. Rod, I expect you to die."

 

Doug:
Heh. But get this, dude, I think this offseason is making me friggin' soft.

 

Mike:
You? Get out, dude.

 

Doug:
Seriously. I'm losing it. I mean I was so totally going to make fun of this chicken kissing shit but then I'm all "poor fucking little Kurdish kid lost her pet chickens, how sad."

 

Mike:
Yeah, well, you know who has nevah lost it? Mu'ammar Qaddafi. Dude's all "I Have Nothing Against America - Except for the Fact that it Opposes the Palestinian People and is Destroying Iraq." Other than that, you know, it's all good and shit. Cracks me up.

 

Doug:
See, now that's the thing about Qaddafi, of all the megalomaniacal world leadahs, he's the only one who has the right balance of despotism, wackiness, and humah that results in an antagonist worthy of a Bond villain.

 

Mike:
For reals. I mean dude's got a band of cami wearing female body guards who are all black belts. Talk about something right out of a Bond movie.

 

Doug:
I know and some of those guards are hot in a "pistol whip me I'm a bad, bad nasty infidel" sorta way.

 

Mike:
Something tells me her name isn't "Pussy Galore."

 

Doug:
Yeah, more like "Al'Quatcha Diqiz"

 

Comments

"Al'Quatcha Diqiz?"
You wonderful fool.

//You wonderful fool.//

I prefer, "You magnificent bastard."

BTW, anyone else thing it's ironic that the bird flu has broken out in Turkey?

"Do you expect me to strikeout, Schilling?"

"No, Mr. Rod, I expect you to die."

Lines like this (and the one mentioned above) are what keep me coming back, hb. Priceless.

Today I'm like Max Fisher in Rushmore listening to Herman Blume in morning chapel, writing in the hymnal:

Schilling = Goldfinger look alike?

Qaddafi's female black belt bodyguard?

---This is the best weblog I have ever viewed.

I laughed when I heard about bird flu in Turkey. Hard.

Sure, it's another 'we're all gonna die!' disease, but what the heck. We're all going to die anyway. Might as well get a bird flu in Turkey, leave 'em laughing!

Speaking of shills and Bond villains, the bald-headed Blofeld (aka Murray Chass) strokes his white cat again (aka the Red Sox) in the "New York" Times today, dishing that the Boston front-office is running like a Swiss watch.
No centerfielder, no shortstop, no problems, according to the Chasstizer.

Oh, what a wonderful strip! Thanks, hb. "No, Mr. Rod, I expect you to die."(!!!) Oh, thank you!

Nice Rushmore reference, Jason.

You really did it today HB. I can't stop laughing and soon my entire office will be in an uproar when they glance at the "Beautiful Atrocities" link. This quote will soon be printed out and pasted on the employee bulletin board:

"A female bodyguard sacrificed her life to save Colonel Gaddafi from assassination. The beautiful security girl was one of a 40-strong, all-woman unit of personal guards who are trained killers & also claim to be virgins.

"She threw herself on top of the Libyan leader when rebels opened fire on his motorcade, & died riddled with bullets. Seven other women bodyguards were also seriously wounded. A source said: 'Gaddafi was deeply distressed. Aisha, the woman who died, was his top bodyguard.'

"Gaddafi surrounds himself with handpicked female bodyguards to foil such attacks. All of them swear an oath that they will give their lives for him. They never leave his side, night or day, & he insists they remain virgins. There is no shortage of volunteers for what is seen as a prestigious job."

Bond villain indeed. Even Ian Fleming would have a hard time making this up. Groucho Marx maybe, or Mel Brooks.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.


I'm so glad to hear today's strip is going over so well!

I had a feeling it was going to be a good one when it just sort of fell into place so quickly/easily this morning.

James Bond fests are a creative muse I guess.

Jumped the shark.

"Jumped the shark" has so jumped the shark.

Libyan is the new Lebanese. Book me a ticket to North Africa, and I'll leave a bunch of hairy, blue-eyes babies in my wake.

Funny stuff today...That turkey joke is the best.

I read on "Over the Monster" and Rotoworld (original source...FOXSports) that Julian Tavarez is coming to the Sox. True?

If so, excellent acquisition! Mark Bellhorn barely-home-runs notwithstanding, I've liked what I've seen from this guy the past couple years. Except for the whole "breaking your hand in anger" thing (that was both him and Kevin Brown the same year, right?).

Actually, Schilling was a good call, but Harvard Pres. Larry Summers is a dead match for Gert Frobe, i.e., Auric Goldfinger.

Cooler wheels?

1965 silver Aston Martin DB5 from goldfinger, or.

1977 white Lotus Esprit from The Spy Who Loved Me?

http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/extra_bases/

boston.com says we signed tavares. Don't know how accurate but he would be a good vet addition. And yeah, he broke his hand that same year. Tavares might be the most emotional guy in baseball

Aston Martin, without a doubt.

Julian Tavares could quite possibly be the ugliest man in all of baseball. That aside, I remember watching the '04 NLCS and seeing him pitching pretty lights out and with A LOT of emotion, which is never a bad thing... or is it (see the bad D-Lowe, Carl Everett, Milton Bradley, Albert Belle, etc.)

Ahem...it IS actually Tavarez with a "z" (I checked on MLB.com). I'm kind of a stickler for name-spelling, especially of the "Latin" variety.

If we're talking "dead ringers", I think Tavarez would make a good Magua from Last of the Mohicans.

The Aston Martin is sweet.

Though it's in a different class, I also like the little two seat convertible roadster he uses in Dr. No (when he drives up to the mountains to visit the Chinese girl who has lured him into an ambush).

The Aston Martin for sure gives you ten out of ten for style. But the Lotus, which I think looks pretty cheesey three decades after the seventies, was a far better utility vehicle. It could shoot down helicopters and doubled as a submarine. The Aston Martin was pretty, but it didn't get 007 out of trouble plus the blonde got killed. It works with the Mr. Rod analgy: when the pressure is off, it can track Goldfinger all the way to Switzerland, but all it can muster during the playoffs is a 4-6-3 double play.

Might've missed you given the hour hb, but is there any way that we can seee a t-shirt of todays strip? Theres three or four panels at least that merit silkscreening...

Good thing Libya capitulated and gave up its WMD's when is the Khadaffi Bodyguard Tour coming to my city, it might beat a http://www.suicidegirls>Suicide Girls tour. Speaking of Khadaffi, is it Khadaffi, or Gaddaffi, c'mon K or G, they don't sound the same. CAN I GET A TRANSLATOR?

I totally agree with what you're saying. I wish more people felt this way and took the time to express themselves. Keep up the great work.
Josh Rivers

http://www.wickedtickets4less.com

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