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Go ask Alice

Bill:
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: nevah stop taking your crazy pills … You just nevah know what might happen.

 

Doug:
Absolutely. And personally? I love being medicated.

 

Bill:
Yeah, without the soothing calm of my neurotransmitter rebalance, I might, you know, wondah, and I daresay worry, who is going to catch Wake now that Belli was traded considering Wake is, what, 0-fer-umpteen without Belli?

 

Bill:
But, you know, instead, on my meds, I'm just taking it all in, all unemotional and shit. Sure, so I have a little sexual dysfunction now again, but what's the loss of a few bonahs heah and there anyway?

 

Doug:
Exactly. On the train in this morning, did I freak out that potentially every infield position playah will be new in '06?

 

Doug:
No, I did not. Instead I am a cute little puppy in a Pound. And, at some stops, the ridahs getting on and off the T are like people wandering through the Pound and not choosing me. At other stops they're like the Pound employees, just getting done what they need to get done. Sometimes I think, Which one of you will take me home and train me to be good? Sometimes I think, Which one of you will put me to sleep?

 

Bill:
Really, what more could one ask for from life?

 

Author's Notes
Doug's Pound speech is adapted from the September 6, 1996 entry in Letters to Wendy's.

Comments

For the love of God, get the Marte for Renteria trade done!

Once again you rock. But there is a broken link for http://www.soxaholix.com/tp/2005/12/Simon%20Erich

Thanks for the bad link notice. Fixed now.

Lots of new free agents today.. Bengie Molina being one of them. And Roger, Frank Thomas, Tino Martinez, Ruben Sierra. Should be interesting seeing where these guys land.

Wheeee...I said this yesterday. :)

So is Shoppach gonna be on the roster on Opening Day or is Tek gonna learn how to catch a knuckleball without using the backstop every 3rd pitch?

Meanwhile, the Damon talks are going "well" according to Edes and Boras. 4 years/$48 mill? That's not a steal and not a total waste.

Fire up the burners, I think the Hot Stove is just getting warmed up...

With the Red Sox letting players go left and right, it seems appropriate to remember another man who left us 25 years ago: rest in peace, John Lennon.

Done deal according to ESPN, Renteria for Marte
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2252297

Now what? Marte, Shoppach, and Arroyo for Lugo and Huff?

Edgar last year:
.276, 8 HR, 70 RBI, 9 stolen bases, 30 errors.
Lugo last year:
.295, 6 HR, 57 RBI, 39 stolen bases, 24 errors.

Salaries:
Edgar, about $10,000,000.
Lugo, about $3,250,000.

Keep Marte. Trade Lowell for Romero/Ford. Sign Nomar.

I wonder if we got a 2nd Braves prospect for Renteria, as the reports last night were speculating?

Bob wrote:

<>

That's been discussed, but Marte has the potential to be a special player - he was ranked #1 on last season's BA Top 100 Prospects list. Plus, Huff's last 2 years have been subpar for an AL 1B, and with the $$ included in the Marte deal Lugo will not be a major savings nor a major upgrade over Renteria.

With Loretta in the fold as a high-OBP, contact-type hitter, I see no downside to platooning Cora and another glove guy who hits lefties at short - really, a .750 OPS there would be fine if the D is solid, assuming Loretta performs at a marginally capable level.

I'm going to go pass out now, with all the blood rushing from my head and into a massive erection over the Marte deal - I can't believe Cox talked Big John into this one . . .

(Whoops! My above comment should say ".700 OPS" - I'm not that Pie in the Sky about the dudes, I mean, one will still be Alex Cora, right?)

Edes is reporting that there'll be NO flip to Tampa Bay. Instead, the Red Sox are expected to sign a FREE AGENT shortstop. Hmmm, it couldn't be, could it? Or maybe they're thinking Alex Gonzales.

It is lunacy to talk about Ice Garciaparra coming back. He is brittle, has diminished skills, is in a 24/7 funk. Oh ya, I generally don't like him.

If Nomar is healthy -- granted that's a big IF -- he's better than Renteria, and he's definitely cheaper. They can probably do an incentive-laden deal with him that gives him every reason to come to camp in shape and lay off the soccer balls and Hercules/bungee cord workouts this winter. I think it's a gamble worth taking.

as someone who takes "neurotransmitter rebalancers" i have to say a lack of emotional response to the brutal mutliation of the sox' roster and front office this off season is unfortunately not one of the benefits.

Garciaparra, come home. Forgive for they know not what they do in the cursed off season.

Nomar's got too much hitting power to NOT be back on the Sox.

Hey, he did save those two chicks in the Harbah.

Nomar really doesn't solve much, I'm afraid - I'm not 100% sure he's anything resembling a strong defensive SS any longer, and you're not guaranteed 300 ABs, not to mention 600.

For free agent help, I'd think most about one of Los Dos Alex Gonzales (although this one used to be the better one).

The 'roster mutilation', as Beth put it, resembles something like plastic surgery - it appears nice, but there is significant risk involved so far. I can honestly say, however, that every bit of that risk appears justified . . . plus we've freed cash for Damon (although the 2009 WWJDD Calendar will not be pretty).

Lets say the Sox offer Nomar a deal. I wonder how the offer will compare to the one he turned down a couple years ago. Think it will be better? Or worse?

It will be better for John Henry's bank account and worse for Nomar's. But I think if they creatively structure it with incentives etc., both sides could be happy. That said, I agree with d56 that he may not be the solution at short. But he might be the solution at some other position, with the roster in the turmoil it's in.

Nomie at 1B? That would be insane. My burning question is who the hell is at short next year? I can't say that I am a fan of trading Rent away, as you KNOW he was due to rebound from a less-than-stellar '05 campaign. Now we have a huge hole in the middle of our infield. That's ok though, we can just accelerate Hanley's track to the bigs. Wait, what's that? Dammit. Well, who else is out there? Seems to me the best free agent option is Alex Gonzalez (and you know the Marlins' fire sale isn't over yet) which is far from what we need. I'm thinking trade, but no idea for who and what we'd give up in return. With new rumors of Trot and Bronson I am slowly starting to have a team identity chrisis. Who are the '06 Red Sox. The pickups we've had so far sound good for sure, but are we about to be left with only a handful of The 25? I know turnover isn't always a bad thing, but what kind of team are we putting together here?

I've found a solution to our shortstop problem:

http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/5151318

Pull the trigger on this . NOW.

Hmmmm, Tejada unhappy in Baltimore?? Sox just traded Rent-a-wreck? Can you say "timing"??

Totally agree with NV, DO IT.

I just saw the Tejada article too. Oh.my.God. Can you just imagine? What does it take to get him though?

I'm thinking some kind of combination of a prospect (hmmm didn't we just get one of those), Bronson/Youk/Trot, and $$$ (his last contract was 6/$72 mil). Can you imagine the Dominican Deathsquad- Tejada, Papi, Manny?

Ooh I just got chills...

I'm guessing the conversation begins with Manny. Because of the money and positional differences, we'd obviously have to donate a whole bunch of money towards the difference between their salaries...but that's the first Manny swap scenario I've imagined that didn't make me want to vomit in terror.

I've completely drunk the Marte kool-aid.

Scorecard! Program! You can't tell your Shoppach from your Marte without a Program!

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