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Just a ride

Mike:
All this talk about amphetamines has me wanting some. I've been sluggish since the time change. Coffee just isn't getting the job done.

 

Doug:
Lately I more and more find there's no coffee in the coffee.

 

Mike:
How true. I plow through it and it is definitely a coffee area, but there's no coffee in it.

 

Doug:
Right, and you always think there'll be a little at the bottom of the cup, but there nevah is.

 

Mike:
The fact is, coffee isn't just a substance — it's an event, and it's manifestation depends on countless subtle conditions, most of which are not speakable.

 

Doug:
If it's missing at all, it's all missing.

 

Mike:
Yeah, like a major league ballclub without a GM.

 

Doug:
If you say "G-M G-M G-M" real fast it sounds like Jem. And thinking of Jem is a pleasant distraction.

 

Mike:
Ah, I'm not too fond of the little Welsh rarebit, too scrawny.

 

Doug:
Dude, are you for real? You need to get finally woken to her squeamish hottiness, her barbaric coquettishness … I mean c'mon.

 

Author's Notes
Much of the back and forth coffee discussion is from the October 29, 1996 entry in Letters to Wendy's. Today's title is a reference to a song by Jem.

Comments

Mike just needs a new and improved turbo BK Joe, he'll be all set...........

Jem's "too scrawny?" Mike, dude, she lists former teen porn-star Traci Lords as her lone female heroine. I mean, that should more than make up for her lack of J-lo'esque "trunk junk."

If Mike likes his music to come with "curves," (as in curve balls) perhaps he'll enjoy the "squeamish hotness, and barbaric coquettishness" of Bronson Arroyo, who's rockin' Mohegan Sun next week.

Regarding Lucchismo's GM star search: perhaps the problem is with the job description.

Here's how Wikipedia defines baseball GM: "In Major League Baseball, the General Manager of a team typically controls player transactions and bears the primary responsibility on behalf of the ballclub during contract discussions with players."

Being that the Red Sox "hot stove" is currently generating as much heat as a Holly Hobby toy oven, (which used a low watt light bulb as its heat source), one has to wonder if the Boston "GM job" even exists anymore.

Or perhaps the job title is deceptive, like "fire eater." You know, because everybody knows they only pretend to swallow flames?

Well, h.b.- maybe I'm missing something, but you're kinda all over the place there. Ode to coffee? Jem? Who the hell is Jem? The only thing that came to mind was that cartoon that my sister used to watch ten or so years ago. Then I checked the link- definitely not the same Jem. But I digress...

Two burning questions:

#1-IF it's true theat the Skanks have a potential offer to JD for 4/$44 mil, why in the hell would we lowball him with 3/$27 mil? My head hurt after I read this quote:

"I believe the Yankees would dominate with Johnny Damon on their team," Damon's agent, Scott Boras, said. "The key component is, how do you maximize A-Rod and Jeter? [Damon] makes A-Rod, Jeter and Matsui better."

Frightening.

#2- I understand the desire to develop a good farm system, and having solid young players waiting in the wings is very important to any ballclub, but Manny for Lastings Milledge? Hooly shit. From what I hear this guy is a solid center fielder with the potential for .330/ 25 hr consistency, but you never really know do you? That, and his name makes him sound like a crew member from Horatio Hornblower. For the love of God, just assure Manny that all possible avenues for a trade were investigated, but nothing worked out. Sorry Manny- now get your ass to spring training.

Jem? And the Holograms? What about them? Jem was nothing without the rest of her band.

She's truly truly truly outrageous!...

Just like our search for a new GM. Jerrica Benton for GM!

Showtime, Synergy!!


Now where did Jerrica go?!? Oh, it's you, Jem...I was just talking to Jerrica.

The previous post was brought to you by a lack of coffee...or is it an overdose...

I'm not sure anymore.

Ode to coffee?

More of reflection on the lack of "coffee" in coffee.

It's a metaphor, of course, a somber plea for authenticity blah blah blah...

Meanwhile, I'm listening to Jem as I type this.

The previous post was brought to you by a lack of coffee...or is it an overdose...

I'm not sure anymore.

Exactly!

Something has been striking me recently -- as a matter of etiquette and respect, it seems a bit odd to me to see critiques about specific elements of the strip, what works and what doesn't, what should be added or diminished.

Gary Trudeau doesn't have to deal with those kindsa comments, nor should h.b.! I'm just sayin'...

Big Jem fan, eh Kaz?

On a completely unrelated topic, here is something for you to enjoy hours, nay, DAYS of hilarity

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/

Here's a taste:

http://www.craigslist.com/about/best/hou/100381033.html

I will now accomplish nothing today.

BTW Billy- It wasn't a critique, just a question. Thanks for being the etiquette police though.

NV - I thought of saying (but didn't), this isn't directed at anyone in particular. People have been making comments like this every coupla days. No offense --- what you add to this site is worlds more than what I add, fer sure.

NV,

Don't sweat Damon coming over to the Dark Side.
If it this was last century, no question your boy Johnny would follow Ruth, Boggs, Clemens etc. as Red Sox castaways who shined in the Bronx.
But this century, Steinbastard is only interested in washed up Red Sox.
He sees himself like Mother Teresa washing the lepers. Give us your Embrees, your Bellhorns, your Ramiro Mendozas. Damon has way too much talent and baseball left in him for Steinbastard to covet his services.

The question is, if they really ban amphetamines, what will any free agent be worth? There is a 40 percent chance that any player is using them. If baseball doesn't bother to enforce the ban that will be one thing. But if they actually do enforce it, how is a team supposed to judge any player's value? With coffee beans instead of green beans, the jolly Green Giant could become the sleepy brown dwarf...

Pops, your "sleepy dwarf" image raises this disturbing question:
did Pedro evah have his "little friend" ovah for slumbah parties? if so, let's hope they weren't the sicko "Nevahland variety."

"Gary Trudeau doesn't have to deal with those kindsa comments, nor should h.b.! I'm just sayin'..."

You know, I've lurked for a long while, but only jumped in a month or so ago, but my impression is that h.b. sort of relishes the observations/questions/curiosity/opprobrium in re: his creative work.

Maybe I'm wrong.

Wouldn't be the first time today.

Your pal,
lowselfesteem

what

NV in SD. NV from ME. Just so we're clear...

Have to include this as it made me neaarly fall out of my chair...

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/65133777.html

and no, I have not done a single productive thing at all today.

Pumpsie Green, Mike Greenwell, The Green Monstah, the tradition, the tradition...

How will "JD" Millar get dressed in the a.m. w/o his greenies?

Pumpsie Green, Mike Greenwell, The Green Monstah, the tradition, the tradition...

How will "JD" Millar get dressed in the a.m. w/o his greenies?

But this century, Steinbastard is only interested in washed up Red Sox. He sees himself like Mother Teresa washing the lepers. Give us your Embrees, your Bellhorns, your Ramiro Mendozas.

Thanks a lot, Babe! Just when I managed to get a mouthful of coffee with some coffee in it, you made me spew it all over my keyboard.

Wheres a new strip

Or atleast a temp

Hoohoo! Welcome to Boston, Beckett and Lowell. :)

Good bye, Hanley...we hardly knew ye. :(

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