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To be a barracuda in the guppy pond

Steve:
The deal is done. Three more for Theo.

 

Doug:
Thank Christ. Now I can focus all my psychic energy on effahts to avoid the flu.

 

Steve:
So at the bottom of the Snow piece on Theo's extension, he tosses in this bit about Manny wanting to get to Anaheim because "Ramirez remarked that no one bothered him during a visit to a local mall." And I'm like what the fuck.

 

Doug:
Holy shit, you're kidding me? That's what this "trade me talk "all comes down to?

 

Steve:
What the frig do you think Manny goes to the Mall for? Does he all of a sudden get a craving for Auntie Anne's Pretzels or something?

 

Doug:
Yeah, Manny, you don't need to go to the Discovery Store to play with the remote control toys for free. You can afford to, you know, buy the whole fucking store.

 

Steve:
Let's see Manny wants a trade so he can go to the mall without being bothered, Wells wants a trade so he can go to bars without being bothered, Theo needs to be among the highest paid GM's partly to compensate for the nuisance of being a celebrity in Boston … Am I sensing a pattern here?

 

Doug:
Heh. You'd think grown men would have biggah balls than Lindsay Lohan when it comes to dealing with their celebrity status, but I guess not.

 


Doug:
No kidding. Listen up Manny, Wells, Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, et cetera, as someone who leads a normal life I'm telling you it's way the fuck overrated.

 

Author's Notes:
The title of today's post is a line from the Fountain's of Wayne song "In the Valley of Malls."

Comments

Michael Jackson use to rent out FAO Schwartz so he could molest kids in private. Can't Manny rent out the Burlington Mall for an evening so he can wander the stores in peace and quiet?

I was out in LA during July / August and caught the Sox playing the Halos. A couple of things:

1) I went to some malls out there in Anaheim. The reason no one bugged Manny is because the people hanging out in the malls were drunks, junkies, the extremely elderly, and Disney employees who just got off their shifts. Given the number of dreadlocks I saw, he probably fit right in.

2) The first night I saw the Sox play in Anaheim, the good guys looked like garbage with Manny leading the trash parade. Maybe he wants to take this Manny being Manny thing to a whole new level and thinks the fans of Anaheim will expect nothing from him.

3) Los Angeles is a stank armpit of a town except for like 3 blocks near the beach. The only redeeming thing about Anaheim is it's proximity to Las Vegas, and everyone knows that. If Manny moves to Anaheim, expect another Pete Rose debacle.

M

One down, several to go. The more I think of the Manny situation, the more I think that there is no way we can get rid of him. Unless equal value is given (Vlad, Pujols, A. Jones, D. Lee are the only ones I can think of who would provide anything close) you would be foolish to send him away for a few decent players while still (likely) paing 75% of his contract. I say, if you're gonna foot the bill for him, he better be playing for you. That, and I have no desire to see Papi get walked 500 times next year.

Thanks for re-upping Theo- now get to work. It's gonna be an intereseting hot-stove season...

Yay, Theo. Boo, Manny.

Didn't we do this at least once before?

Let's try something new like "Yay, Konerko" or "Boo, Caveman Damon".

Manny, Mischa. Mischa, Manny.

It's a plausible storyline for Fox's "The O.C."

It's the middle of "senior year" and new "bad boy" moves to sunny, wealthy Newport Beach, a sullen East Coast jock named Manny.

The gruff but loveable high school baseball coach (is Dennis Franz available?) suspects Manny can hit, and attempts to recruit him to the team.

But moody Manny would rather hang with his mall-rat buddies, and work the after-school shift at Sunglass Hut.

Will Manny's toy monkey named "Rally" help him realize his baseball potential in Southern Cali?

Will anybody notice Manny's not the only 30-something "high school senior" in "The O.C."?

Will Ryan (Ben McKenzie) ever discover a second facial expression?

The answers to these burning questions and more, this winter on "The O.C."

If something happens on a predictable schedule (the train arriving, the sun rising, Manny requesting an off-season trade) is it really news? I think it'd be a hell of a lot more newsworthy if Manny came out and said how much he loved Boston and appreciated the fans.

"Listen up Manny, Wells, Lindsay Lohan, Cameron Diaz, et cetera, as someone who leads a normal life I'm telling you it's way the fuck overrated."

Wow. I think this will be my new tagline for the next decade. Or at least until I become a multibillionaire manipulating penny stocks and buy my own CFL team, then proceed to get fined for my outrageous antics and start a reality show. I'd put that on a T-shirt if I didn't have that money earmarked for beer and trips to Foxwoods.

COD, I think that actually did happen this year after what I will think of forever as "the Manny game" (the one where he got a pinch-hit game winning single up the middle after the crowd got done roaring their approval of his non-trade).

I hope he isn't traded as he's my favorite player on the team and I don't know how they could replace him (a couple of good pitchers might do it), but if there were a deal worth looking at, I'd live with Manny being gone (well, I'd live either way, but, you know...less happily). I hope not, though.

Um, no more Theo?

Help?

*faints*

say it ain't so, Theo... the thought of no Theo in Beantown presages a wholesale collapse of this house of fragile egos...

AUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

(falls out of chair)

(gets up)

WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!
Did they put in an extra hyphen hyphen this morning when they said "Theo re-signs"?

Now I'm very worried about next season...

If this(Theo's resignation) turns out to be a result of Lucchino's ego being bruised by the realization that there IS someone younger and smarter than him who knows how to run the team without his obstr- sorry, input, it is a sad day for the club. I guess we'll know soon enough, when we see what caliber of replacement is put in place.

From the Herald:

" A leading contributing factor, according to sources close to the situation, was a column in Sunday’s Boston Globe in which too much inside information about the relationship between Epstein and his mentor, team president and CEO Larry Lucchino, was revealed -- in a manner slanted too much in Lucchino’s favor. Epstein, according to these sources, had several reasons to believe Lucchino was a primary source behind the column and came to the realization that if this information were leaked hours before Epstein was going to agree to a new long-term deal, it signaled excessive bad faith between him and Lucchino."

Please please please not Paul DePodesta...

I'ma go buy me one of the new Resplendence shirts. Tell me that I'm the first, if I am the first. If not, lie to me and tell me I'm first anyway.

Thanks Larry....How's that big ego thing working out now that we have no young bright GM at the commencement of the hot stove season?

Theo walks. I don't know if anybody saw that piece of shit Gordon Feces on Sports whatever last night. That condescending fuck talking down to Dan Roche and Toady Masseroti like how dare they even be in the same room with him. Well, Feces was PISSED that Maz would dare say anything that conflicted with what The Globe said. There it is, a corporate cover-up like no other. Lucchino wants Theo out, leaked shit to the Globe and Feces blowing the scheme with his over the top cover up. I'm not a Theo fan but to fuck him over like they did is something they will never recover from. Ever.

What one cannot have, the yearning just out of reach, is the one thing most believe our heart desires.
Imagine it happens- you get it what your heart yearns for most. Now is the time to get the oilskins on- plus hip waders- because your actual desires are mysteries, and what you thought you wanted has gone awry. Yet Hell waits for no man who believes he is seeking his true wish. (wasn't that the overall theme of 'The Twilight Zone?)

First- and last- lust. In an impossible world, J. Lo or A. Jolie wants you and only you as her man and will not take no for an answer.
Great! Right? what a dream! hearts on fire! She looks great naked! She doesn't even care you look like the Pillsbury Doughboy! Wish fulfulled, you think as you lie in down comfort splendour. But not quite. Onr morning, a nagging thought begins and will not go away. Maybe that thing Lincoln thought up- the Emancipation Proclaimation- does not apply to men who founder into some star's domain. Slavery, updated for Hollywood's convienence, seems to - not officially, of course- still exisits for men canoodling and cahooting high maintainence women.
Yes, Virginia, stars are selfish and mean. Like that time when you had to pick up the tab for a dinner for 400 of her fabu friends because, sob, sob, she left her purse at home. Plus, all evening, she refered to you as 'that go-for guy who sort of showed up but never leaves'.
Thus the heart- a fine, resilent muscle prone to stupidity due to hormones- sees your dream, your lust, your desires- dry or wet- end, not with a bang (bummer!) but a wimper ( the Viagra taken by new boyfriend).
Has the lesson been learned? are you free from Hollywod vicisstudes? Not in this dream, pal. For their is no espcape from Hollywood servitude. She took your passport and DL, and now you are scrubbing the toilets. She also reported you as a potential terrorist. Firearms are her new hobby, she's quite a good shot.
If she ever deigns to go out with you, she'll always leave that damn 'sniff' purse at home. You're stuck with the capriciousness of your own damned desire, lust and yearning.
So it goes with human dreams, fantasies, yearnings and desires (especially if they involve the kingdom of Hollywod).
My point?
Manny desires shopping? Go for it. But his dream may end when he falls on a wet floor, suffers a grievious injury and gets shipped to triple A (if his career doesn't end right in said mall).
Ahhh- back to riding buses and making chump change. His ego shattered, his swing on vacation, no entourage in the minors. RFetirement would be his only option.
Our bBaseball players rewarded in a kingly fasion- so many aren't- should learn to count- not their damn millions, but their blessings.

For there is no such thing as Bailey Falls. It's all Potterville, baby. Greed, graft and ganja.
So if things take a turn for the worse- and for millionaire ball players, it does happen (Bob Horner? Loved in Japan due to his resembalance to A sumo, a nobody here), there's that bridge, one jump into freezing MA waters, it's over. Your desire fulfilled. And if you think some goofy angel is going to save you, it's Potterville- there are no angels.

Okay- brevity is now my watch word.

Be careful what you wish for; it may come true, really suck and you can't get rid of it.

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