Oh fer 21st Century Drought Continues

The Angels move on to the ALCS which can only mean one thing for Red Sox fans …

Bill:
Oh, baby, it's Schadenfreude time!

 

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Mike:
Ah, sweet Schadenfreude, one of the great joys of life.

 

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Bill:
I'm really disappointed though … ovah 162 regulah season games and 5 in the postseason, I nevah once caught a glimpse of A-Fraud's promised wicked scary "dropping the shouldah move."

 

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Mike:
Yeah, who knew Pay-Rod's "killah move" is grounding weakly into a double play?

 

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Bill:
Here's your media anointed MVP: 5 ALDS games, 0 RBI, .133 BA.

 

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Mike:
And how about A-Rod's best buddy Sheffield? Not one extra-base hit in the series and only two runs driven in.

 

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Bill:
I'm lovin this formula: $76 million extra payroll buys exactly two more wins but still ends in "the slow shuffle of the defeated."

 

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Mike:
Never in the field of baseball conflict has so much flowed to so many for so few.

 

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Author's Notes

Mike's reference to schadenfreude as "one of the great joys of life" is a quote from the historian Peter Gay.

Mike's "Never in the field of baseball conflict …" is a twist on the famous Churchill WW2 quote about the RAF: "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few."

Comments

[vancouversoxfan]

A-Fraud's MVP (Most Very Pathetic)series was a worthy topic for the strip today h.b.....and what was with Giambi's greaseball look last night? Does he need all that hair lube to make his hat fit his oversized juiced-up head?

[The Goat]

I want to see us hanging up a 2005 AL East Co-Champs banner at Fenway next spring. Ahh, no revenge for the MFY yet.. This is pretty sweet.

Year Two-Thousand! Clap-Clap, Clap-Clap-Clap!

[h.b.]

Year Two-Thousand! Clap-Clap, Clap-Clap-Clap!

Almost titled today's strip with that.

[jcw]

post on first MFY fan site link on A-fraud:

"Our big stinking choke of a 3rd baseman deserves as much blame as anyone. If there is a god, Ortiz will somehow get the MVP, so we can stop hearing about how great A-Rod is. As much as we liked to pretend during the year, he was the last person at least I'd want to see up in a big situation. Waste of oxygen"

Probably written by a Red Sox insider but it's still music to my ears.

[Bob]

New A-Rod nickname from that annoying Skip Bayless on Cold Pizza: C-Minus-Rod.

(Somewhere, in an Illinois basement, a man weeps and uses his tears as lube.)

[AJM]

What a glorious morning!
Not only do we get to enjoy MFY-Elimination Schadenfreude, the sweetest variety there is, but...

...the Soxaholix is featured prominently on the back page of the Wall Street Journal this morning...check the back of section D. Congratulations h.b.!!! I can proudly say I read you when!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go place a call to the lawyer for our firm......Marty!!!

I feel sunshine...
...on a cloudy day...

[RonF]

My wife, a White Sox fan, was watching the game cheering for the Yankees. She figured that the White Sox had a much better chance of beating them than beating the Angels. I told her that I sympathized for her viewpoint, and I do want to see the White Sox in the Series, but I just couldn't cheer for the Yankees; I am consitutionally unable to do so. She understood.

I was glad to see nobody got hurt in that center-field collision. Maybe someone at the 'Tute could fix up collision detectors for the outfielders and let Johnny, et. al. try them out.

[mobosox]

What nobody has yet mentioned is the fact they bring in Dandy Randy to shore up the rotation kinda like the '04 SOX with Schill to deliver them to the World Series and he gets beat like a Chillocothian farm boy. Oh and another thing...A-Rod still doesn't have a World Series Ring.

Just something to think about.

[illegitimate son of dwight evans]

Dear Mr. BigBri,

The reason people all over this nation are so happy the SPANKS got bitch-slapped out of the playoffs is because you were such poor winners over the years and display such unbelievable hubris every year. It does my hear[t] good to know that many of the people who stood and cried in New York (or Missouri) last night were the same people who booed Mariano Rivera earlier in the season. They DESERVE to be miserable. They brought this misery on themselves. And as this team breaks apart in the off-season, they can wallow in that misery for years to come.

The next time (if there ever IS a next time in your lifetime) you find yourselves lucky enough to be on top, try to behave yourselves a little better. 26 rings in 86 years is nice, but it's no reason to go inflating the abilities of the "greatest sports franchise in history". And speaking of history - the 20th century is now officially history. Over. Done. Gone. Never to be repeated.

Sincerely,
the illegitimate son of dwight evans

[birthofasoxfan97]

I liked h.b.'s summation on the WSJ piece,"the new fear."

I felt it, despairingly, for a few days. New perspective today: a need to let go, breathe deep, enjoy the offseason watch and know that next year will be a new fresh start, probably with fewer well-known faces, that may very well end in disastah as easily as it could in glory and that there will be a lot of fun stops along the way. Just like life, really.

And you can bet your sweet arse I wouldn't be feeling quite that happy-go-lucky if the yanks were still in it! Schadenfreude is sweet indeed.

[d56]

Now, here's the real question, boys and girls . . . since my back-of-envelope calculations have the Astros winning tons of matchups in the Cards series, and potentially with the Angels as well, can I officially root for Roger at this point? Does 'the story' of this year's Stros overcome the Blue Jays years, or the Yankees years, or the 'mailing it in to spite the Front Office' years?

It's impossible to root for the Fighting Guillens, who vomit all over intelligent baseball at the plate, and the Angels, to my mind, are moderately personality-free. Rooting for the Cardinals is like rooting for the Cubs, except the fans aren't as annoying - there's no need for more asses on that bandwagon.

But can I root for Roger? And yes, I realize how stereotypically "Red Sox Fan" this process is.

[Kaz]

Bill forgets one important stat contribution from A-freude. 1 E. It cost them Game 2. Maybe Alex should think about being the DH...

[birthofasoxfan97]

d56 - I have the same issue. Really, really, really do want to root for the 'stros. (Absolutely no can do for Chi!) It's a fun story and they do have some personality. But if to do so is in any way traitorous, then I'm out. Just not sure...every other team still in it is just flat out boring.

Can we get some absolution of sin, here?

[Bob]

Just read the WSJ piece; congrats, H.B.! Good stuff. In a funny juxtaposition, check out the lame-ass Microsoft strip at the bottom of the page. You may be getting a call from Bill Gates regarding their ad biz, H.B.

[h.b.]

Thanks for the positive feedback on the WSJ piece. I'm doing my own version of Manny's cocky homerun trot at this point.

And I felt like Jack Kerouac this morning waiting at the newstand for the first review of On the Road to come out in the Times. Unlike Kerouac, though, I haven't proceeded to drink an entire case of champagne and pass out blind drunk. But it's early yet...

[beth]

where's mahty? bring that motherfucker out. i wanna talk to him.

[grunherz]

On MFYFans.com:

"I haven't seen Mystique and Aura since 2000. With AFRAUD patrolling 3rd it's more like Misery and Horror."

Misery and Horror. What Yankee fans have brought to the world for 80% of my lifetime.

Karma is a bitch.

[NV in SD]

This is just too sweet not to comment on...

2-15, 0 rbi.....Ladies and gentelmen, your 2005 MVP Alex "The Cooler" Rodriguez!

What a fucking sack of shit that guy is. At this point I hope he does win his coveted award so it can burn at his soul (if he has one?) for the entire offseason. Typical "new" skankees- can't get it done when it matters most, just like '01, '02, '03, '04....

[Brooklyn Bomber]

You guys forgot Mr.May-Rod and DoublePlay-Rod.

[Pat]

The Yanks were sure eliminated last night but at least they were STILL playing. How did that game 4 Schilling start go? Riiigghht.

[h.b.]

The Yanks were sure eliminated last night but at least they were STILL playing. How did that game 4 Schilling start go?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Curt Schilling pimp slap the Yankees with Arizona and again with the Red Sox on his way to collecting two World Series rings?

Schilling could have come out and thrown underhanded for any of his starts this season (and sometimes he was close to that) and he'd still be revered forever by Boston fans for what he did in 04.

But you know that. Everybody does.

[Aaron]

So who are we going to sign for center field after the Empire panics and tosses $50 million at Caveman? He's basically talked his way out of town with all that nonsense about five year deals and breaking the bank. If Theo wasn't biting for Pedro, he's certainly not going to for a 32 year old outfielder with no arm and injury woes.

Any truth to the theory that we're going to trade for Torii Hunter? And realistically, do we have the prospects it would require to pry him loose from the Twinkies?

[NV in SD]

DoublePlay-Rod- I like that.

Tell me, o wise Pat, what the fuck good is winning two games when you still lose the series? I guess we now know what $206 mil buys you...

A few other questions...

If Joe cried after clinching the division, is he stringing up a noose as we speak?

Slappy's post game comments- I had a great year
Jeet-err's post game comments- this year was a failure
I forget- which one has earned his pinstripes?

Can anyone picture JD playing his home games in the Bronx? If so, is there any possible way he tops the past two years he's had?

[pawsoxpop]

The Yanks were sure eliminated last night but at least they were STILL playing. So the mystique and aura has come down to this: bragging that you extended a series to five games against a team that the Sox swept last year. Welcome to the 21st Century indeed, Spankee fans; great strip today HB and nice piece in the WSJ. Glad to see you've got a new t-shirt too.

It's fine by me if anybody wants to root for Roger to overcome his fear of the post-season and expunge his own demons with a World Series win. But I'll be rooting for Cranston, Rhode Island native Paul Konerko to carry Chi to the promised land, win the World Series MVP, sign a gigantuan free-agent contract, and reopen the Narragansett Brewery where it belongs -- in Cranston.

I know, I know, like that will happen. But as the old Jimmy Fund sign in center field used to say -- "I can dream, can't I?"

[pawsoxpop]

I'm still sticking with my White Sox pick to win it all, but sticking with the Schadenfreude theme, wouldn't it be great if it were a White Sox-Astros World Series, with Game 1 being won by Contreras, Game 2 by Petitte, Game 3 by Clemens, Game 4 by Contreras, Game 5 by Orlando Hernandez 1-0 against Petitte; Game 6 by other White Sox starter 1-0 vs. Clemens, and Game 7 by Contreras. That would be a wicked pissah...

[Jason O.]

"Ignis aurum probat, miseria fortes viros"
(Fire tests gold; adversity tests strong men)

Also. to paraphrase Woody Allen:
"Schadenfreude is the illusion of your own security."

[buckner was framed]

Dewey- Niiiiiiicely done.

Aaron- I'd love to see Hunter patrolling the triangle myself, but haven't heard anything lately about it. And, is there any word on his rehab on the ankle?

PSP- I'm with you. Local boy makes good. Plus, there's something soothing about the RightSox being eliminated by the eventual WS champ, if they had to lose, that is. My biggest problem with Chi is listening to Guillen's personal butt boys Boomer & Co. getting all in a lather every time Ozzie sneezes....

[h.b.]

pawsoxpop,

Glad you like the new t-shirt design! I'm going to try to add a new one every weekend for the next couple of weeks.

Funny your mention of Cranston, R.I. made me think of how, for whatever reason, I used to change the lyrics of the Squeeze song "Up the Junction" to go "I never thought it would happen/With me and the girl from Cranston."

[pawsoxpop]

OOps, my fingers were typing faster than my brain was thinking. That Game 6 would be Clemens beating some other White Sox starter 1-0. That way ex-Spankee starters could win 6 of the 7 World Series Games with a combined ERA of about 2.4ish...Steinbrenner and BigBri would be apoplectic...

[pawsoxpop]

That's pretty hilarious HB. I can just hear Tillbrook (or was it Difford?) singing in a Rhody accent: "... when she got too heavy, we had to sell the teevee, late nights by the fiah, and 'Gansett beer inside her ..."

[h.b.]

Oh, that's fantastic, pawsoxpop!

If I were in a rock band, I'd so cover that song complete with the localized lyrics.

[Bob]

//The Yanks were sure eliminated last night but at least they were STILL playing. How did that game 4 Schilling start go? Riiigghht.//

I heard those comments going down the elevator to lunch today. Some Yankee fan was bragging, with actual PRIDE that, "well, we both lost in the first round, but at least we played longer." Is that what the "greatest franchise in sports history" has come to? Satisfaction over losing in the first round of the playoffs, but playing a couple more games than the Red Sox? I'm pissed the Red Sox lost, period. Perhaps there's a quantum shift occuring as we speak. Because as I left the elevator, the Yankees fan actually said, "Wait until next year." It's our line mister, but you can definitely use it for the next few decades if you want.

[Pat]

Is schadenfreude that feeling I had when I saw that picture of Timlin on his knees last Friday night? That would make a swell avatar on nyyfans.com. Maybe it's that pinched and shriveled look I saw on Gammons' face on ESPN. Yeah that's it.

I'm glad that they had two more games to play. That's two more than Boston. I'm sure any real Boston fan would have loved two more games.

The payroll is what it is. I'm sure that George will continue to spend as long as he has breath in his body. The revenue is there and he spends it. I would do the same! What do any of you care? It's not your tax dollars or your money, just your mantra! $206m didn't do it? Maybe $230m will. Maybe $185m will. Who knows? I do know that baseball needs George and the Yankees, just like YOU Red Sox fans need George and the Yankees. Without a foil, where would you get your holier-than-thou-schtick from?

[Devine]

Yeah, it sucks the Red Sox were eliminated by a sweep (very ignominious), but I don't hear the Yankee fans in my office saying anything about how it was so much better to lose in 5 games. Heck, I'm kinda glad in my petty, mean-spirited way that a) their hope was slightly drawn out and crushed and b) we got to see their defeat AFTER they got to see ours.

Rootin' for the 'stros now. Anyone see that game on Sunday? Really, really sweet. I don't know if their (excellent) pitching can really overcome their (mediocre) hitting in the face of the Cardinals, but we'll see.

I want to see what Marty has to say about this, too!

[Devine]

Yeah, it sucks the Red Sox were eliminated by a sweep (very ignominious), but I don't hear the Yankee fans in my office saying anything about how it was so much better to lose in 5 games. Heck, I'm kinda glad in my petty, mean-spirited way that a) their hope was slightly drawn out and crushed and b) we got to see their defeat AFTER they got to see ours.

Rootin' for the 'stros now. Anyone see that game on Sunday? Really, really sweet. I don't know if their (excellent) pitching can really overcome their (mediocre) hitting in the face of the Cardinals, but we'll see.

I want to see what Marty has to say about this, too!

[pawsoxpop]

Not holier than thou, Pat, just better at baseball than thou since the "Year two thousand, clap, clap, clap clap clap."

I would have loved for the Sox to win 11 more games, but I would definitely not be crowing if we had won two and the Yankees had lost three straight. Can you imagine how you would react if a Sox fan did that? No, probably you can't...

[pawsoxpop]

Not holier than thou, Pat, just better at baseball than thou since the "Year two thousand, clap, clap, clap clap clap."

I would have loved for the Sox to win 11 more games, but I would definitely not be crowing if we had won two and the Yankees had lost three straight. Can you imagine how you would react if a Sox fan did that? No, probably you can't...

[Devine]

Yeah, it sucks the Red Sox were eliminated by a sweep (very ignominious), but I don't hear the Yankee fans in my office saying anything about how it was so much better to lose in 5 games. Heck, I'm kinda glad in my petty, mean-spirited way that a) their hope was slightly drawn out and crushed and b) we got to see their defeat AFTER they got to see ours.

Rootin' for the 'stros now. Anyone see that game on Sunday? Really, really sweet. I don't know if their (excellent) pitching can really overcome their (mediocre) hitting in the face of the Cardinals, but we'll see.

I want to see what Marty has to say about this, too!

[Bernie Williams]

Pardon me for interrupting your schadenfreude circle-jerk (yeesh it's sloppy in here) but here are the facts for you sux-a-ball-lix:

Yankee payroll: 210 billion dollars.

Finishing the season with more wins than the Bahston Ded Cox: Priceless.

Money well spent. Every penny of it.

Enjoy 2nd place again. Heh.

And have a nice winter watching "Fever Pitch," bitches -- or whatever souvenir DVDs you collected from your one lonely championship in the last 85 years.

Yankee fans have (count 'em) 26 World Championships to celebrate over and over. Hell, we have a whole channel dedicated to the winningest franchise in the history of sports!

Year 2000! clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!

Hey, let's watch that one again. That was one of my favorites!

Best,

Bernie Williams

[Billy Mahty]

I'm definitely rooting for Clemens and Pettite to win another ring.

I think Boston fans should embrace Clemens. I would guess he's going to wear your cap in Cooperstown.

[pawsoxpop]

I would have loved 11 more wins, but two more games? I don't think so, unless I had tickets to one of them. And even if the Sox had won two more games and the Yankees had been swept, I would definitely not be bragging about it.

As for holier than thou, I don't profess that the Sox are holier than the Yankees, maybe just a little less chemically enhanced and one championship better at baseball in the 21st Century.

[da kine]

I've heard grumblings that the Spanks are looking to unlook Matsui-san. Prepare the vicious retorts, but I'd love to see him in a Red Sox uniform. That fucker is a scrapper. (This is assuming JDam cuts his cavelocks and puts on the ninny-stripes.)

[da kine]

That should say "unload", obviously. Also, I as derelict in not saying congrats to HB on the sweet WSJ ahticle. My office mate happened to have it on the desk when I read about it, so I was able to whip it out and show it off to every nearby coworker. The ahticle, people, the ahticle.

[AJM]

"I'm glad that they had two more games to play. That's two more than Boston. I'm sure any real Boston fan would have loved two more games."

Yes, it's official: MFY fans have become the working definition of pathetic. Put their picture in the dictionary.

"The payroll is what it is"

And what it is, is, in a word: embarrassing. $203 mm just to barely scramble to 95 wins (94 if you subtract the game against Pittsburgh when Sheffield clearly GIDP'd to end the game, but the ump flat out blew the call). $203 mm spent, only to have to rely on Aaron Small's pact with Satan to get into the postseason. And then to get knocked out in the first round.

But hey...congrats on those two extra-special wins against the Halos. Even though it's the Halos who will be playing baseball tomorrow, and not the MFYs. I guess it could have been worse. At least you didn't choke away an 0-3 lead in the ALCS this year. So at least you have that going for you.

That, and those two extra-special post-season wins.

[pawsoxpop]

And Bernie, I'm glad to hear that you're satisfied with winning two more games than some other team rather than winning the championship yourself. Of course the way your skills have faded, you'll be lucky if you can start on the YES Network softball team next year. And from reading your inane ramblings, it sounds like we have to add either Alzheimer's or syphilis to the list of your ailments (dead arm, failing eyesight, bad wheels) ... I thought you were one of the classy Yankees, but again you prove that classy Yankee is an oxymoron. And you're just a moron.

But hey, good luck with your new contract and may you roam centerfield at the Stadium until the next millennium. Don't bump into any statues!

[Bennie Williams]

Pardon me for interrupting the schadenfreude circle-jerk - but let me help you soxaholix with the math:

Yankee payroll: 210 billion dollars.

Finishing the season with more wins than the Bahston Ded Cox: Priceless.

Money well spent. Every penny of it.

Enjoy 2nd place again. Heh.

And have a nice winter watching "Fever Pitch" -- or whatever souvenir DVDs you collected from your lone championship in the last 87 years.

I hear Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore just finished shooting the "Fever" sequel, "Swept Away."

Yankee fans have, what is it? 26 World Championships to celebrate over and over this winter. Heck, we have a whole channel dedicated to the winningest franchise in the history of sports!

(Year 2000 clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)

Hey, let's watch that one again. That was one of my favorites! But I've loved 'em all, haven't you?

Best to you,

Bernie Williams

[Devine]

Yeah...I didn't see any schadenfreude going on in the Yankee camp when the Sox lost. Did someone say pot and kettle?

Fuckin' hypocrites.

[AJM]

"Enjoy 2nd place again. Heh."

Actually, we tied for first. Just like the Cardinals and Astros did in 2001. Bud Selig confirmed it last week.

"Yankee fans have (count 'em) 26 World Championships to celebrate over and over. Hell, we have a whole channel dedicated to the winningest franchise in the history of sports!"

Zero in the 21st Century.

"Year 2000! clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!"

That's OUR line...and we're gonna be using it for years to come.

By the way, Bernie, it really was painful this season watching you try to play centerfield with a giant fork in your back.

[Bennie Williams]

You got that right, Pops. I'm senile too. Just posted my silly rant again (thought it didn't post the first time).

And I've changed my name to Bennie Williams. How sad is that?

Look, schadenfraude's fine and if it gets you through the winter, enjoy.

If I were a Bosox fan I'd be rubbing MF (miserable forgetful) Yankee fans noses in it today too.

But let's face it. Both our teams have great players -- and both our teams have hideous flaws that were deftly exposed by younger, faster, and less expensive ball clubs.

How do you say Yankees and Bosox both suck in German?

[Aaron]

I'm probably going to root for the 'Stros as well. I understand the pain of White Sox fans (88 years is a long time), but I can't root for the team that knocked us out, and Guillen is an asshat anyway. The entire world owes the Angels a debt of gratitude, but they're so devoid of personality it's hard to root for them, and they won a title only three years ago. And as for the Cards, I am genetically incapable of rooting for any team whose best player is named Poo Holes.

I still have a soft spot for Clemens, despite his ignominious departure from the Sox and the unspeakable time he spent toiling for the Empire. Let's face it, he was the only reason to pay attention to the Sox in those lost years of the early 90's. In fact, I think it would be a great idea to bring him back for a cup of coffee after his Astros deal runs out, so he can get the one win he needs to surpass Cy Young as the alltime Red Sox victory leader (they're tied at 192 right now.)

My my, the Yankee trolls do seem more numerous and shrill than usual. Odd, isn't it, that a fanbase that used to accept nothing less than a World Series title every year is now crowing about lasting two games longer in the first round before getting bounced. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.