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Some days I can't think of a title


Bill:
No kidding. You know you'd think some smaht fuckahs would figure out a way to embed some sort of collision detection system into the uniforms or something.

 

Mike:
Yeah, well all the best and brightest are too busy applying duct tape and bondo to their jalopy shuttle so, you know, they can send a team of scientists up to go round and round in orbit to do important stuff like … er, what the fuck do they do up their anyway?

 

Bill:
Speaking of government boondoggles, didya see Congress is going look into possible perjury chahges against Palmeiro.

 

Mike:
Ooh. Scary, dude. They may say mean things to him and issue, ohmigod it frightens me just to say it, a censure.

 

Bill:
Yeah, considering Ollie North told umpteen lies concerning national security and the setting up of a secret personal army back in the 80s but walked away with a wrist slap, I'm sure Raffy is sweating bullets.

 


Bill:
Everyone is saying Murdahball is awesome, but I have a zero motivation to see it.

 

Mike:
What you have some sort of prejudice or what?

 

Bill:
Hey, there are limits to my comedy. There are things that I'll never laugh at, like the handicapped. Because there’s nothing funny about them. Or any deformity. It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go "ooh, look at him, he’s not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced." Yeah, well, at least the little handicapped fella is able-minded. Unless he’s not; it’s difficult to tell with the wheelchah ones.

 

Author's Notes

Bill's final speech about "the handicapped" is stolen word for word from the BBC series The Office, one of the funniest television shows ever and one of the things that inspired this strip originally. If you haven't ever seen The Office, get yourself over to Netflix and add it to your the top of your queue right now.

Comments


Actually, that was Damian Jackson crashing with Damon in ALDS03, not Walkah.... just an FYI.

Trainer to Manny: What year is it?
Manny: 2005.
Trainer to Manny: Who's the president?
Manny: George W. Bush.
Trainer to Manny: What's the capital of New York?
Manny: Albany.
Trainer to Tito: He got them all right...he's obviously got a bad concussion.

Yah, Lisa's got it...

"It's like when you see someone look at a little handicapped and go "ooh, look at him, he’s not able-bodied. I am, I'm prejudiced."

Unnngh...my mind is spinning.

What really bugs me about the Rent/Manny collision is that Manny had just started a mad hot streak. Hate to jeopardize it.

Interesting that Rent stated: "That happens all the time, especially on a ball like that. It's not too high. I think I had a chance to get it, and I know Manny can't call it because it was a fly ball."

Manny can't call it? I only listened to the game, so if anyone else has another perspective, I'm down for it, yo.

1:05 p.m. staht today!

Matt Clement v. DJ Carrasco (from MTV's The Grind, I believe?)

Need Matty to put a run together.

Thanks re Jackson. I can see the play in my mind and considering that Jackson is black and Walker is white, you'd think I'd get it right.

SawxSince67: I was watching the game on NESN.

Here's my take: Rent is so used to Manny not hussling that we basically takes over (like the all the recent "Manny being Manny" highlights when he boots that pop-fly). This time Manny came for a ball that was clearly his. As I recall, the player running forward usually is the one that gets to call the ball (it was clearly out of the infield)....but that's me and my over-40 beer/softball self speaking.

Note to Rent: 1 out against the Royals is not worth INJURING THE CURRENT MLB RBI LEADER!

Was it me, or was anyone else asking the television set WTF was Rent doing?

BTW, aside from the Manny/Rent thing, I think Theo may have done it again (in a smaller way than 2004) with the Cruz/Graffanino/Cora acquisitions. For those of you (mostly females) who were holding onto the hope that Bellhorn was going back...sorry

re: Walker vs. Jackson...I HATED Damian Jackson...everytime he came in something bad happenned...So I'm watching that A's game and - sure enough - Gump puts him in, and I am in a bar SCREAMING "NO!!!" and my buddies are all like "what's your problem?"

So I tell them that something bad is gonna happen 'cause DJ sucks...next thing you know *CRASH*...everyone thought I was Nostradamus or some shit...

The moral of the story is that I wish I had logged on earlier today so I could have been the one who busted you on saying it was Walker...Cheers, HB!!!

Thanks, FOT.

I wonder if the ball was "So in no man's land" that neither could sensibly call for it?

==========================================
Rotoworld:

The Red Sox will call up Roberto Petagine from Triple-A Pawtucket to replace John Olerud on the roster.
The bad news for Petagine is that this didn't happen two weeks ago. Now the Red Sox have Jose Cruz Jr. and Gabe Kapler to use in right field, so unless Manny Ramirez is going to miss some time, Kevin Millar isn't likely to get starts in the outfield.
==============================================

Petagine's ability to make an impact at the Fens could go the way of the Lochness Monstah--lots of speculation, no evidence...

Petagine batting cleanup behind Ortiz today. I'm calling it right now- at some point Ortiz is getting the IBB and Petagine will make them pay. Hate to see him get his chance this way though, because The Helmeted One has been swinging a hot bat recently.

How about Yankee Bob Watson putting it to the Sox yet again? Not only has Brazelton STILL not been suspended for the rukus that happenend three(?) months ago, but he's also pushing back Boomah's hearing for some unknown period of time. I'm thinking he'll be getting around to it say, oh, the second week of September? Real nice, Bob. You sure there isn't an additional suspension you want to hand to Tek for last years Rawlings sandwich delivered to A-Fraud's mug?

Get well soon Manny- we need you out there.

According to an article on redsox.com (http://boston.redsox.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20050804&content_id=1156980&vkey=news_bos&fext=.jsp&c_id=bos), Matty's already had the experience of being buzzed by another line drive, so here's hoping that he comes back with no side effects today.

Coming up from the Pawsox with some pop in his bat (sorry I couldn't resist), Roberto will not be denied.

The Tankees are finally showing their true colors (no pitching) but the Pollyannas in NY think it's going to be 1978 all over again. They don't understand that the Sox have a manager who is not Don Zimmer this time around.

Grammar police: "...what the fuck do they do up THERE (not their) anyway?"

Luckily, it looked like Manny did not get hit in the eye, so he should still be able to keep hitting up a storm. Maybe he needs a day off with Clement ont he mound anyway. Give Petagine a chance to do some damage.

The problem is that Renteria started heading back off to the right of the ball path. When he looked back to correct his path, he was just about on top of Manny and already bearing left to get under the ball. Manny was coming in straight the whole way and had assumed that since Renteria was heading off to the right (Manny's left) that he had begged off.

At that point, both had their heads up and looking two different directions...

But is it just me or do baseball collisions like this seem like they really shouldn't be so painful as they end up being. I've slammed into people before and we get up and dust off. Bloody nose? Ok, sniff it up and get back in the game. Bruise on your chest? If it's not 3/4 of your side, take an Advil and play ball.

//Bloody nose? Ok, sniff it up and get back in the game. Bruise on your chest? If it's not 3/4 of your side, take an Advil and play ball.//

I agree. Christ, back in the day, Ty Cobb would see his second baseman eaten whole by a bear and just keep on playing. Or he'd try to cold cock the fucking bear.

Jesus, you guys ah badass mofos, huh?

Manny's nose was bleeding and Rent stayed until the 7th.

They are not hockey players.

Terry O'Reilly'd eat Ty Cobb's fucking lunch and make Cobb pay for it!

Anyway, probably don't want your possibly woozy players standing in a batter's box whilst a 9 ERA pitcher is whipping 90mph baseballs at their general vicinity.

That post by Red and Kaz just made me think of this (granted Rent and Manny didn't cry....that we saw):

"Are you crying? Are you crying? Are you crying? There's no crying, there's no crying in baseball! Rogers Hornsby was my manager, and he called me a talking pile of pigs! And that was when my parents drove all the way down from Michigan to see me play the game! And did I cry? NO! NO!"
-Jimmy Dugan

I am honestly not going to get any work done...working from home today..must...not...turn...tv...on...must...listen...to...radio...only

All I want to say about Ty Cobb and all those old school tough dudes is that if they had actually been playing against all the best players in the USA, and not just the white boys, things might have been a little different.

Yeah, Cobb was so tough that he was scared to death to play againt a Negro League team and have his sorry redneck ass shown up.

I'm just sayin'...

I just saw some HOF show discussing Raffy, records, asterisks...Ryno, Boggs were guests and one of them (or the host?) said something to the effect of: "if we're going to start applying asterisks, any MLB record set pre-integration of baseball should have one since players like Satchel Paige, Josh Gibson, Cool Papa Bell, etc. were not part of the equation."

Yeah, just saying...

Roberto will make them pay for walking Papi

Oh well, he'll get another chance.

I was in a hotel in bloody SF for that Jackson/Damon collision. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I was very close to taking BART down for the game, but I didn't. Stupid pudge.

Lee Mazzilli orioles manager fired...just heard it on the game broadcast. Geez, one guy tests positive for steroids and you drop like a stone in July and they fire you. Where's the love? Could Torre be far behind?

Maybe Lee Mazzilli could be our third-base coach.

NOW Roberto will make 'em pay!

Okay, so Jason will make 'em pay.

Yes! You're my boy Roberto!

Nice double Rent! I might forgive you for head-butting Manny.

That objects getting smaller in your rearview mirror are the MFO and the MFY.

BTW, did you hear that the Tankees are looking at Rick Suttcliffe? Ca$hman, my uncle used to pitch American Leagion, how about a try-out?

FUCK YEAH TEK!!!

Lord, if only we could play the Royals every week.

A friend of mine emailed me and said the Stankees were going to have Jim Bouton pitch tonight, and bring back Don Gullett to go Saturday. I just hope they don't put Oil Can in pinstripes!

Of course, if Clement doesn't get his shit together, he may not last long enough to get a decision. Christ.

Is it just me, or is he looking more and more like the Cubbie Clement with every start?

Aaron, Clement's numbers this season are nearly identical to his last year - and if anything, they're slightly worse at this point (slightly higher dERA, slightly lower k/9, slightly lower bb/9, WHIP nearly the same)

We didn't really need him to improve a whole lot, we just needed to score some runs - his record was bad, but that wasn't really indicative of how well he pitched.

Plus, even at the price the Sox paid, with the insane pitching market he's well worth the cost even for his current production.

FoT:

I heard Cashman was going to sign this kid by the name of Charles Brown (usually goes by the name of "Charlie"), they might have to take his SS (who looks a lot like a beagle) and outfielder VanPelt (who looks very female and who keeps losing the ball in the sun) as part of the deal but at leat they'll have a young promising prospect on the mound...

Finally Petagine gets his shot... too bad the Fenway debut was a bust but I'm looking forward to seeing him hit in a dome this weekend, just like he did so well in Japan. Sox record on turf this season is pretty sad (4-8) so hope the W-train just keeps on rollin'. btw, anyone catch the story on the 'prankster' who called the media to tip them off that Giambi would be suspended on Friday for a Palmeiro positive? check it out: http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/story/334362p-285685c.html

The prankster was probably somebody who had Juiceon Giambi on his fantasy league team in April and then unloaded him in June. Hell hath no fury like a rotisserie leaguer scorned.

As a card-carrying member of the Blohards (http://www.blohards.com/), one must admire the moxie of the Giambi tipster. The MFYs are so freaked that they've pulled strings with the NYPD, who surely have nothing better to do than track down this merry prankster. And where the hell is Selig?!? Down on the farm in Crawford?

Anyone seen BigBri lately? Didn't think so......

MFY currently losing to the tribe, life is sweet.

Giambi is an insult until proven otherwise--he always had a good eye--but, this power surge is insane.

His deltoids look like basketballs under his jersey.

He's 34 years old--between traveling, BP, fielding practice, how does he lift enough weights to maintain that size during a 162 game season?!?!?

He's got this whole defensive lineman look in his eye when up at the plate. AL Player of the Month, huh?

Cleveland rolled out Wickman too many times against the NYY.

Still 4.5 up.

Minny next--Brandon v. Bradke

I hate the fuckin Twindome or whatever they call that hellhole.

No more Torii...they're done.

"Some days I can't think of a title"

I like this one: World Series Champions Boston Red Sox

...works every time.

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