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Sitting beneath the pons asinorum

Bill:
So which Schilling will we see next staht: The one who gave up 5 runs ovah the first two innings or the one who came back in the next 4 innings to hold the D-Rays to 2 hits and no runs?

 

Mike:
Based entirely on my gut, I think we'll see more and more of the good, if not great, Schilling ovah the remaining weeks. Now with Mr. Foulke, on the other hand, I'm fah less bullish.

 

Bill:
Christ I know. The dude's getting totally hammahed by Single-A shoht season hittahs, but, you know, "the results are secondary" at this point.

 

Mike:
Something tells me "Johnny from Burger King" is going to be keenly interested in results.

 

Bill:
Unless Johnny is working at Burger King because he's an unemployable English major who dreams of attending the Iowa Writer's Workshop and one day getting a job at the Atlantic Monthly, for then he'd really prefer losing to winning.

 

Mike:
Fercrissakes don't even mention that bullshit piece. The selfish prick wants the rest of us to suffah just so that his pussified senior editor sense of self can avoid "a palpable diminishment"? Gimme a break.

 

Bill:
Yeah, you know, I'm very reticent to bring out the "not a true fan" scahlet lettah, but I'm ready to stitch it onto this guy Stossel.

 

Mike:
Absolutely. I mean there are not too many requirements to being a "fan" beyond, you know, rooting for your team to win. It's pretty simple, really. Even the pink hat and jersey skirt fans get that.

 

Bill:
Right. The last time I checked the lyrics went, "Let me root, root, root for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame" and not "if they don't win it's a wonderful bit of Aristotelian tragedy to remind us that life is a trial."

 

Mike:
Poor fuckah sits around his office like a weepy Hamlet wondering, "Now what do we do?" … well here's a novel answer: Win anothah one! How's that fucking sound, Aristotle?

 

Comments

As soon as saw that ridiculous Stossel piece, I couldn't for the Soxaholix treatment. You didn't disappoint.

Great strip today, h.b. and I totally concur with the sentiments expressed. Good articles in the Globe today about Schilling's performance - anyone out there think this year and not 2006 will be Schilling final year pitching?

Who's the moron at The Boston Globe/boston.com who let that shoddy piece of "journalism" get through? It got some deservedly harsh feedback from readers. I hope Stossel gets DFA'd and sent down to a rag that would accept writing like that - The Noise, for instance.

Great game for the Sox (my dad and sister were there, I wasn't - grrrr) and the Yanks lost too :) Bellhorn was 0-4 in his first appearance as a yankee and Mussina is going to miss at least one start. I'll take it.

Love Schill's and Millar's dye job (ha ha)

h.b., hear back from that New Orleans poster from last week? I was watching the horror that's unfolding down there and my heart sank - almost as devastating as watching 9/11 unfold.

hear back from that New Orleans poster from last week? I was
watching the horror that's unfolding down there and my heart sank -
almost as devastating as watching 9/11 unfold.

Nope. No word so far. But unless one was able to get out of the city and was settled in enough at a new location to take the time to check/send email, I guess that's not unexpected.

Meanwhile, I was watching the footage of Biloxi, which was pretty much destroyed, and I realized a guy I was pretty good friends with in college and afterwards was from there. And while I've since lost touch with him, it's been a good 10 years I guess, he was living in Biloxi last I knew.

Man, hope he's OK.

I was thinking, too, of the writer/poet Andrea Codrescu who lives in New Orleans and who often does really funny segments on NPR. Hope he's doing fine as well.

"Who's the moron at The Boston Globe/boston.com who let that shoddy piece of 'journalism' get through?"

It's the Globe. Shoddy journalism is their stock in trade. I remember glancing at the Sunday paper in the store a couple weeks back and their three-column headline story was on how Big Dig contractors were closing roads and on-ramps at 12:38am instead of 1am. Like it was this big expose. If any newspaper in the country really believed in the wag-the-dog power of print, it's that hideous rag sitting across the street from my high school alma mater. In fact, the same can be said for just about any media outlet in the New York Times's portfolio. I really hate the "corporate media" concept that's a hobby horse of anarchists everywhere, but I must say that with the NYT/Globe I can see where they're coming from.

I too, think we'll see more Schill of the latter innings in games to come. I think for him, he needed to take inventory of how his pitches are working and then get his game plan in order. It sure seemed like he figured it out after the second last night. And the 6-run comeback, tying it up in the 8th? That's '04 Red Sox baseball right there. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that John Olerud is one of the best clutch pinch-hitters in the game, and I'm really glad we have him on the bench. His defense ain't too shabby either. I used to hate that guy when he was in Seattle and New York because he's always get the situation hitting assigment done. And then Trot caps it off with the walkoff win - great game. Should erase some of the bad memories of Detroit and KC of late.

h.b.: as a former Baton Rougean (currently living in Memphis, TN), I thought you should know that Codrescu teaches several classes at LSU in Baton Rouge, and most likely wasn't in New Orleans when the storm hit. Hopefully that helps. Baton Rouge got some power knocked out but is otherwise OK.

Great job on the strip today. It helps to have some humor to look forward to during an otherwise crazy week (I'm sheltering a friend and her family who lost their home because of the hurricane).

LSU,

Hope you're right about AQ, though I was always under the impression he just drove up to LSU for the classes but remained an inhabitant of NO. For instance, his NPR bits are often done from some bar near his home in NO (or so he claims... you can never really trust poets.)

Meanwhile, I can't imagine how traumatic it must be to lose one's home like that. Best wished to your friend and her family in getting through all this.

hb; "to hold the D-Rays" not "two hold the D-Rays" in panel 1.

Great strip, though. I love the "if they don't win it's a wonderful bit of Aristotelian tragedy to remind us that life is a trial."

Best wishes to those in the storm's wake.

illegitimate son of dwight evans, you might want to read The Media Monopoly by Ben H. Bagdikian. It’s an excellent illustration how the consolidation of the media market is in detriment to American society as a whole. I would state that it is more from a Conflict Theorist’s sociological lens much more so than anarchist’s point of view. It is truly an enlightening read and shows why it is increasingly more important that independent blogs away from the corporate medium are increasingly important. This is why many come here for h.b.’s erudite wisdom as opposed to the Globe’s and others’ trash.

Thanks on the typo alert.

ghostoffoxx,

I was using the term 'anarchists' as a catch-all for overeducated underemployed rich kids who blame all the world's ills on big greedy corporation$. Next time I'll be careful to differentiate between anarchists, syndicalists, deontological post-structural marxists, and anyone else who rejects the patriarchal socioeconomic narrative paradigm as informed by their own miscellaneous understandings of the gender, class, and culture subtext.

I was being mildly facetious in blaming the Globe's horrible standards on their being a 'corporate media outlet'. I think the Globe's crap has less to do with its being such an outlet and more to do with the fact that they have some absolutely absymal writers who trump up misery for their own resume, or have some noble aspirations to being a Robert Redford "All the President's Men" speaking-truth-to-power-toppling-an-empire-type. Conversely (and I can't speak for other soxaholix fans), but I come here for the humorous view of being a Sox fan. I don't think h.b.'s talent in expressing that has anything to do with it being defined as a blog, per se.

The Globe under NY Times ownership is like Maverick after Goose died. It's like Puff the Magic Dragon after Jackie Paper came no more. It's like Howard Dean after The Scream, like Cam Neely after Ulf Samuelsson's cheap shot, like Dan Shaughnessy after the Red Sox won the World Series.
I was cursing Francona last week in K.C. and last night for not sending Schilling down to Pawtucket to get his schill together. But after the final four innings and the comeback last night maybe I will cut Tito some slack. He just seems to know what's best for the Sox much more than me or anyone else. Maybe the guy turned a corner last night; I hope he's able to get some good hitters out though; because the teams coming up on the schedule definitely have better lineups than KC (lowest scoring team in AL, six runs in five innings against Schilling) and Tampa Bay (although the Rays have been playing pretty well in the second half)

Why doesn't that "fan" at the Atlantic realize that if you have the power to change the past, you should change the 86 years between 1918 and 2004 and have the Sox win at least a few of the close ones? Last year was perfect. Hopefully this year will be too. What a moron.

Oh yeah, and what's up with K-horn starting at 3d for the Tankees??? Let's have some more of that!!!


I have tickets to tonight's game. Katrina is going to take care of that though, I think.

I really wanted to see Wakefield get his 14th (and team-leading) win.

I guess it's better if it's cancelled though, I really need to do work.

Oh, and I hope we don't burn through all of our luck in August on plays like the call at home with the phantom tag. I have an oogly feeling that we'll need that luck come late September...

As much as our pitching has struggled as of late, I have a hard time believing the Yankees can continue getting quality starts out of journeymen like Small and Chacon. The lowly Mariners may have turned Chacon back into a pumpkin last night. The NY starting rotation is held together with duct tape and bailing wire, and their middle relief is even worse than ours. Having Rivera is, of course, a huge advantage for them, but the Sox have proven they can hit him. The final six games against them are going to be slugfests, and I like our bats against anybody's.

Dear Red Sox Nation:

We do our best to try to help. We'll try to do it again tonight. Felix Hernandez is pitching; this is a good thing.

Regards,

Mariner Unincorporated Municipality

The "nation" of hypocrites will be sorry when I start swinging my Big Bat. I'll knock that "Green Monster" clear back to the stoneage you ungrateful rabble. All I needed was a haircut and a shave; now the American League will feel my wrath!!! I was just getting warmed up last night. You will wish Katrina had blown you all into the sea!!! Hee hee hee!

pawsoxpop,

"maverick after goose died" - classic.

I just remember the first time I started reading stories about the Sox from papers outside the area, and thinking "wow, these papers really love the Sox!" I slowly began to realize they were just reporting on what happened and the Globe found a way to paint the Sox in as poor a light as possible while maintaining the plausible deniability of being biased.

What was Stossel’s reaction to the 2004 WS Championship? A sense of loss—as if from the void felt by a departed old friend?

Is Stossel that mythical Sox fan that depended on the misery created by “the perennial near-miss” for a substantial part of his or her character?

“…the waning ferocity of the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry.”

Yeah, consider me ambivalent about the last home series against the NYY.

“we've taken a step toward becoming more like everyone else, more like the Sunbelt of Arizona and Florida..”

Uh-huh…just like these retirement communities, RSN collectively reacted with a “gee, isn’t this swell, honey?”

"...123 more Bostonians died between the end of the 2005 World Series and the end of last month”

Huh?

HB--"If they don't win it's a wonderful bit of Aristotelian tragedy to remind us that life is a trial."

Fucking stellar.

King Felix--long may he reign.

Katrina--you dirty, lowdown whore.

Dewey Jr., thanks for the props but I must admit I stole that bit from CHB's column about Schilling today (all except the part about himself -- that was my addition).

I think Stossel was really BigBri on 'roid withdrawl.

Gee I wonder who wrote that...

The main thought I had last night, during my two inning worry session, is that the price of last year's WS might have been Schill's career. Fortunately, he and I both settled down, and hopefully all is right. Seems that he definitely needs to "find hmself" a little more, but the fact that he threw 96 pitches and shut them down for the final four innings is encouraging. (Foulke on the other hand- I don't know. four hits and two runs in an inning vs A ball? Holy shit.)

Another good game from my boy Trot. Where's the haters now? You can't deny that he has been a force since he got back from the DL.

I apologize for not joining the intillectual conversation and waxing philosophically using large words about what-not and hoo-ha, but I pulled an all nighter at work last night and my brain is mush. I hope I get to go home soon, because I'm starting to hallucinate. I suppose these Construction Packages don't submit themselves to the city...

I actually look forward to The Atlantic Monthly each month in the mailbox, so it was a bummer to read Stossel's piece.

The thing is I think the notion that "something was lossed in winning" is worth exploring, I just think he totally dropped the ball on it.

I know he was trying to be funny with the coincidences and such but it just made his whole argument silly and easy to dismiss.

In the end, too, we are still way to close to the actual event of winning the WS to draw any conclusions about how things have or have not changed. Maybe in 5 or 10 years we can look back and make some inferences, but not now.

Well the thing I noticed right off the bat was how much harder it is to get tickets at Fenway this year. Next year I'll have to plan some vacation days around when the Sox are in Baltimore or Toronto or Philly or someplace. In that way, I wish there were more people out there like Stossel; the more they won, the more these folks would stay away, e.g. the easier it would be for real fans to get tickets. But of course then the team would have a financial incentive to lose instead of to win, so of course it's better that Stossel's is one lonely pseudointellectual braying at Luna.
I dropped my subscription to the Atlantic about two years ago. They have been doing much less reporting these days and much more pontificating. With the exception of William Langwiesche and a couple of others, the magazine seems like little more than a clearinghouse for think tank press releases.
Although I would subscribe again in a heartbeat if they would publish some short stories by Ralph Lombreglia, the most underrated American writer of my generation, in my view. I have read both his books -- "Men Under Water" and "Make Me Work" many times, and I'm eternally grateful to the Atlantic for publishing his stories and introducing me to his hilarious yet poignant prose.
Now Wells better cool it with the commish. I think Selig is a jerk too, but we can't afford to have Boomer miss any more starts...

I hear you re "pontificating." I let my subscription to Harper's lapse a few years ago for the same reason.

The Atlantic, though, continues to keep me interested. The recent "The Coming War with China" was a fascinating read, however, likely or unlikely the premise. And I'm looking forward to October's cover story on Abe Lincoln's bouts with severe depression.

And the regular book reviews by Christopher Hitchens always amuse and enlighten me. Man, that guy can dish some serious put downs.

I confess to not being familiar with Ralph Lombreglia but I'll add him to my list.

NV - yes indeedy, Trotman looks as good as he has all season. Swinging the bat with authoritay and made a strong throw home, though think the ump blew that call. Yesss! No tears for Piniella & Co. here. As for Schill, did anyone think he would last 6 innings? He looked like toast after 1+ but somehow kept it together... Re: Bellhorn, I have to say he looks really fuqqing weird without the scrubby beard and curly locks. Kind of like Bart Simpson... sorry, it still pains me.

WTF? 'And yet for me there remains that uneasy, end-of-''The Graduate"-like feeling of ''now what do we do?"' Um, wasn't that The CANDIDATE, not The GRADUATE?

Stossel is an ass.

Oh, and also, it was "What do we do now?," not "Now what do we do?"

Uh, I think he's just talking about the feeling the movie evokes (uncertainty, euphoria followed by that especially), not a quote in that case.

But as for his feelings: what we do now is win again. Winning feels awesome.

No, he got the movie wrong. People have millions of times used that quote from that movie to express that feeling. He just got it wrong.

Nice catch Pudge. Makes me wonder if anyone on the Globe's copy desk actually read that article all the way to the end, since that's something they should be able to spot. I must confess I didn't even get that far. I am so sick of pretensious pseudoliterary knuckleheads writing articles about Red Sox fans and how miserable we all enjoy being. What a bunch of fools. Just once, I'd love to see Norman Mailer or Nat Hentoff write an article for the New Yorker about how the biggest chokejob in history was good for New York's cumulative psyche.

NYSoxfan, you are right on about Trot being back. The pride of PawsoxNation and the legacy of Lou Gorman's Administration is peaking at the right time. I would love to see Trot DESTROY and DISMANTLE that first ballot Hall of Fame postseason choker Rocket Rogah in the World Series.

H.B., I can't remember the webmail site for work so haven't seen your email yet. My husband, son and I left our Irish Channel apartment early Sun am so did not experience the wrath of the storm. We got a text message yesterday evening from a friend who stayed that our house was o.k. but don't know if that is still the case. We are safe here in Alabama, but I wish I were drinking a beer watching the Sox on NESN at Parasol's down the block with Debbie and Justin, other New Englanders transplanted to the Big Easy rather than being glued to the TV trying to catch a glimpse of our n'hood. If we can't make it back there at least I will always have it in my memory of watching the Sox finally win.

Well, I still reserve judgment, but you could be right. I still think it's the spirit of the movie, and not a set of words that he's going for.

Nolasox, happy to hear that you and yours are OK...

Now can anyone tell me what was the last game the Sox actually won when Millar had a homer? I was at the game in June when he homered twice off the Angels but Arroyo couldn't hold a lead and Embree sowed the seeds of his release... in the words of Napoleon Dynamite, "JEEEEZ!!"

Well goddam, three cheers for Millah and his bad hairdo. Hip, hip!

hooray

Watch out- he's a notoriously streaky hitter. This could be the start of a month long stretch where Mr. Cowboy-up-Shots o' Jack-Tom Brady- electric yellow hair Millar carrys the team on his back...

or maybe not. Helluva performance tonight though.

pawsoxpop: I didn't get "that far" either. I just like to skip to the end of articles written by pretensious pseudoliterary knuckleheads, instead of reading all the way through. :-)

NolaSox,

Very glad to hear you and yours are in good shape!

SWIFT BOAT VETERANS AGAINST STOSSEL......

I SERVED WITH JOHN KERRY IN VIETNAM AND SCOTT STOSSEL WAS THE ONLY VIET CONG FIGHTER WE EVER CAPTURED WHO WAS WEARING A YANKEE CAP. HOW HE ESCAPED AND MADE HIS WAY TO AMERICA, I DON'T KNOW.... AT THE TIME, THE ONLY ENGLISH WORDS HE KNEW WERE "MICKY MANTLE"

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