« Some days I can't think of a title | Main | Sugar Pills »

8 is not enough, let's do 9


Mike:
Ah, this helps explain why baseball fans in the teetotaller Baptist belt regions have to get instructions from the Jumbotron about when to clap and cheah and shit while watching a game.

 

Doug:
Jeez, stupid sobah fucks need to get hip to the good news.

 

Mike:
Yeah, turn off the 700 Club, chug a bee-ah or two and embrace evolution already fercrissakes.

 

Doug:
And if the holy rollahs need more evidence that man descended from apes, I say take a fucking look at Jason Giambi.

 

Mike:
A.L. Playah of the Month?!? Are you fucking shitting me?

 

Doug:
Yeah, why doesn't MLB go ahead and put Michael Jackson in chahge of all the bat boys while they're at it.

 

Comments

I just spewed coffee.

Instant classic. This one goes into the book.

More backup for Darwin: http://sports.yahoo.com/mlbpa/players/5386

Our friends from the print media are not satisfied to get a column everyday, they have to clutter up the airwaves. Last night on NESN, Edes, Ryan, Neumeier and MacMillan stunk it up for a 1/2 hour. What a freakin' waste of oxygen(except of an occasional valid point from MacMillen),but, strangely, I couldn't stop watching. It was like being mesmerized by a car accident or a house fire.

Edes couldn't figure out why the crowd gave Manny a standing O last Sunday....dah! Finally, MacMillan has the sense to say, "Because he produces!

Edes finally prediction: You won't see Manny on the Sox next year.

My predicition: I'll be paying more attention to tea leaves and road-kill entrails for predictions of the future than I will anything that comes out of Edes pie-hole

I went to the game last Sunday with my parents. Great game and all, but it's hard to drink much with your parents sitting right next to you. I barely got a buzz at all. By the way, sounds like Manny isn't the only one suffering from blurred vision; D-Lowe's booze-woes are suddenly national fodder. After Trinka takes him for 20 million or so, he'll be drinking Milwaukee's Best instead of Cristal.

Too bad Jurassic Carl isn't still playing in TX.

Ah well, at least Jurassic Dubya still claims the Bible Belt as home.

Interesting point re: the bible belt types. Thought of Curt Schilling (surprise) and his assumed role as "moral gurdian of all that is right and worthy with the Sox and beyond." Wonder if he called up D-Lowe and told him he was comitting a major sin and was going to burn in hell, blah blah blah. I am sure the team must be getting tired of hearing his sermons on (and off) the mount but you rarely see that getting written about.

Today's Joy of Sox blog (http://joyofsox.blogspot.com/) makes an interesting observation about Schilling always starting his pitching stints by saying a prayer on the mound before he pitches (and kissing his cross necklace) and being very obvious about it. Whether it is superstition or if he genuinely believes it is one thing. I just wish Schilling would continue to pitch as well as he has without the in-your-face religion. It's already become a punch line for jokes.

DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITER

Gary Sheffield has news for Yankee fans: Derek Jeter ain't the leader of this pack. "I know who the leader is on the team," Sheffield said in an explosive New York magazine interview set to hit newsstands Monday.

"I ain't going to say who it is, but I know who it is. I know who the team feeds off. I know who the opposing team comes in knowing they have to defend to stop the Yankees."

To me, Timlin and Schilling have morphed into a single entity known as the God Squad.

I don't know what the ostentatious prayer inspires in them on the mound, but they certainly haven't been inspiring any faith in their abilities to get guys out me recently

You think all those plate crossings after 'los cuadrangulares' that end in a point to the sky are a hat-tip to the Beagle's pilot? It ain't just the pitching staff looking for divine inspiration.

We all know who the High Priest of Red Sox Nation is, and it is MANNY. Like he told Cardinals Castiglione and Trupiano on Sunday when they asked if he was worried he'd be traded: "No, man, I just said my prayers man, and left it all up to God, man. Then I just let God do his stuff, man, and here I am still in Boston, man. So I'm happy. But I'll be even happier when God does his stuff on Gordon Edes and hits him with some lightning, man, you know?" (I don't know if it's word for word accurate, but that was the jist -- except for the part about Edes)

Great strip today HB. This is definitely one for the greatest hits.

Pop

If God hasn't struck CHB with lightning after all these years, either he's an Evils fan, a baseball hater or he doesn't exist (I prefer the last).

In either case, Edes is safe, unfortunately.

I wish for nothing more that for Shit-field to continue talking out his ass:

"I ain't going to say who it is, but I know who it is. I know who the team feeds off. I know who the opposing team comes in knowing they have to defend to stop the Yankees."

Who are you talking about Gary? God? Is it God? It isn't? Oh, it must be you then. Either that or Melky Cabrera. Cripes, he must do wonders for team chemistry. Thing is, he probably thinks that this article will somehow serve as a kick in the pants for the Tankees. What an asshole that guy is.

"fans in the teetotaller Baptist belt regions have to get instructions from the Jumbotron about when to clap and cheah and shit while watching a game."

I don't think that's just a bible belt phenomena. Perfect example- PetCo. I could give two shits about the Pads, but I'll cheer for them when I go down there. Then I got shushed at a game. I looked at the lady and said "You have fgot to be shitting me"

Man that Sheffield interview is unbelievable. More 'roid rage than a Shwarzenegger stump speech. "I ain't going to say who it is, but I know who it is. I know who the team feeds off and it's Greg Anderson. Why do ya think my man Juiceon was player of the month?"

Isn't reading that Sheffield article the equivilant of watching a bad car crash happen? Can't wait what else he has to say in that article. Probably more positive love vibes from the Sheff-man to his homies on the muthafukkin' noo yawk yankees, yo!

And you think a guy who earns almost $40 million dollars over 3 years would have a better command of the English language. He can certainly afford a tutor or two - or maybe pay off the debts for some school systems so THEY don't have to lay off teachers, cut back on supplies or cancel extra-curricular activities, since helping Sheffield with basic fundamental human skills (anger management, spelling, etc.)is a lost cause.

"I don't know what the ostentatious prayer inspires in them on the mound, but they certainly haven't been inspiring any faith in their abilities to get guys out me recently."

Timlin's 1.33 ERA begs to differ with you.

Dabize, why don't you lay off the god squad. First, getting into the god-thing here is fraught with peril. Second, nobody around here is making fun of your theological points of view. And third, frankly if the momentary shot of Timlin or Schilling saying a quick hosanna before they pitch qualifies as "ostentatious prayer", well, I'd say you need to pay more attention to the game. Maybe then you'd notice Timlin's given up 8 runs in 54 innings pitched - sounds like he's doing alright with the getting-guys-out thing. And like with Manny, so long as they produce, they can knee down in short center and wait for the ump to come get them for all I care.

I'm not religious either, but I don't get the whole making-fun-of-people-who-pray. I wonder if the people who do it also make fun of parents who stick their four-year-old's artwork on the fridge.

i know you weren't referring to me, but i wasn't maing fun of anyone who prays. i'm not even saying my observation is completely rational. it just annoys me.

and yeah, the heavenward pointing is a bit much, too. that doesn't bother me as much, though.

Just to point out, too, while the characters today were definitely having a laugh at the expense of the "dry county, alcohol is the root of all evil" and "there were no such thing as dinosaurs" types of souls, it wasn't meant to be anti-religion so much as just general bashing of the regions beyond New England.

I've never made it particularly overt in the strip, but both the characters Doug and Bill are Catholics, with Doug being a fairly regular attendee of weekly Mass and Bill being a lapsed Catholic (as he is divorced and is no longer eligible to receive the Holy Eucharist.)

You may recall from last season Doug's talking to "Father Tim" a couple of times.

So Doug in particular is not anti-prayer or anti-religion.

The character Susan is the one who is the most anti religion, as you may have picked up on. She is 100% atheist.

Yahoo MLB picked up the Shitfield story here's the link:
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-yankees-sheffield&prov=ap&type=lgns

Seriously, this dude is nuthatch. I hate the MFY, but everyone knows you don't dis Jeter...not in NYC..not if YOU'RE HIS TEAMMATE. Sheffield just gets scarier and scarier.

Let Sheff Be Sheff

So, Friday night I'm bowling with my five year old daughter, which normally is great since the bumpers add a good 10 points to my abysmal game. Of course, the game was showing on one of the screens, so I'm doing the mambo between my lane and two lanes over to occasionally check on Arroyo's "tank-fest".
At least I wasn't home banging my head against the wall. But I was lucky enough to see Gonzo give the Twinkies a few insurance runs after the bowling champ went to bed. Sacre bleu!!

You guys have Johnny-Friggin-Damon in center field and you DARE poke fun of Giambi as the missing link?!?!?! Damon is, I shit you not, the 3rd guy from the left on the evolutionary chart!

Congrats to Giambi on coming all the way back and claiming AL Play-AH of the month for July. Your August swoon is on its way!

I can't believe they were a home run away from coughing up a 7-run lead in the 9th. Just a terrible series in Minnesoata on the whole. Hopefully the defense doesn't suck so friggin' bad the next couple months.

The comments to this entry are closed.

The Soxaholix eBook Spinoff

The captivating and long awaited Soxaholix eBook spinoff is finally available!

There's No Crying in Pocket Pool

cover

Purchase at Amazon.

T-shirt

Logo t-shirts now available, several colors, even pink.

'Soxaholix logo t-shirt

Ticket America

Ticketamerica.com has Boston Red Sox and Texas Rangers tickets. Buy Cubs and Cardinals baseball. View Patriots, Ravens and Giants schedules online for Boston.