Doug:
You know of all the things as a kid that the mere mention of would scare me only one still works on me as an adult: "West Coast Road Trip."
Bill:
Yeah, despite all the good memories from the Left Coast like Hendu in '86 and even last year's ALDS sweep, there remains a feeling of dread when the club jets into Anaheim or Oakland or Seattle.
Doug:
I think paht of it is the drastic change in temporal routine, you know, games stahting at 10 O'clock and shit, just jacks my head all up.
Bill:
Well, there's that, true, but there is also the memories of the West Coast melt downs, like the Ninja-Turtle-laced Clemens fiasco in Oakland or last night's 13-4 craptastic loss to the Angels.
Doug:
At least last night they coughed it up early. Nothing worse than dragging your ass around the day aftah a 1:30 a.m. late inning hemorrhage.
Bill:
Yeah, for the sake of worker productivity, if you're going to lose on the West Coast, lose early.
Doug:
Anything to these Clemens and Damon steroid rumahs zooming around the web?
Bill:
You know Clemens wouldn't surprise me much at all but Damon? Ohmychrist no! If any of the superlative twenty-five were caught juicing it'd forevah stain last year's pennant.
Doug:
Yeah, if any on the transcendent and divine roster were found to have doped it'd be "Oh, OK, God does hate us after all."
Bill:
Absolutely, It'd be a tragedy like Oedipus, "Dark, dark! The horror of darkness, like a shroud, wraps me and bears me on through mist and cloud."
Doug:
Dude, you've got that right. I'd have no choice but to wear dark sunglasses and begin fornicating with whores.
Bill:
Actually, in the story, Oedipus plucks out his own eyeballs after sleeping with his moms.
Doug:
Yeah, well, to each his own. I'm not some sick ancient Greek man on boy lovin' maze building oracle consulting freak.
