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The Red Sox win in Cleveland propelled by the bat of the almighty one …

Mike:
So the face of Jesus on a tortilla? I'm cool with that, yo.

 

Susan/Circle:
Shua. King of kings, planah of rough places, curah of lepahs, totally tortilla worthy …

 

Mike:
Right. And if the Holy Baby Mama appeahs on a slice of toast, well, OK, I can hang.

 

Susan/Circle:
The blessed among women, the full of grace, the fruited wombed, hell yeah they get their toast.

 


Susan/Circle:
Ah, memo to the miracle dude in chahge of putting heads on bread and cereal foodstuffs: What the fuck are you thinking?!?!

 

Mike:
Right. If you're going to open the whole face on bread thing beyond the membahs of the God Squad, you don't lead off with the perv Jacko fercrissakes!

 

Susan/Circle:
Talk about your messed up shit. How is it I live in world with a Michael Jackson face on toast but devoid of the David Ortiz face on toast?

 

Mike:
I want Big Papi's face on a staple food made from flour or meal and I want it now!

 

Comments

For some reason, I now have a craving for tostados and mango salsa.

seriously - good job Papi. i will now be switching from Direct TV to Comcast immediately.

Does anyone actually have the salsa recipe? Just out of culinary curiosity and not any sort of celebrity worshipping. Well, except for the hetero man-crush I have on him.

Great game. Now if only Manny were back to caring. I'm sorry: five home runs in a week and a half is just not gonna cut it.

In that same stretch: 2 for 5, 2 for 5, 1 for 3, 2 for 4, 1 for 3, 0 for 1 (HBP second time up), 3 for 5, 2 for 5.

Seriously, if this is Manny not caring, could he care a little less, please?

Why switch from DirecTV to Comcast ... ?

I was just kidding....Ortiz is a celebrity spokesman for comcast and appears on a often played funny commercial for comcast where he's playing video games, listening to hip-hop, gets a recipe for a spicy mango-salsa and so on.... you haven't seen it?

Papi is a monster, Manny is hitting and Saturn balls is back. There is joy in RSN.

If we had Yaz Bread & Flutie Flakes, we may certainly have, double entendre aside, Papi's Huevos Grande...

I saw Tom Bergeron's face in a bowl of Grape Nuts.

Does that count? Can I be famous now?

Seriously, my favorite salsa of all time is Pedro salsa. I know he left for the Mets and all, but still, I hope they still have it at Stop & Shop this summer ...
http://www.plbsports.com/ProductPgs/products_martinez.htm

Great game last night. Papi was awesome, as always. Now we know why the Red Sox had to pay Manny so much to leave the cozy confines of the Jake. Don't forget the great play by Pawsox alum Trot Nixon!

I was at the game last night, and was pleasantly surprised that at least half the crowd was rooting for the Olde Towne Team..

While most of the fans were polite, I did get some ill-tempered razzing. After Ortiz's 2nd tater, a fan in the walkway immediately in front of our seats asked me "how long have you been a Red Sox fan?" Ugh. The tired flailings of desperate fans who root for mediocre teams are soooo cute! I told him, "since I was 10, since '86," but he already had his brilliant comeback in mind: "Since game seven last year!" Oooh.. Burn! I told him to shut up (kids were around so I couldn't really go sickhouse on his ass), but in a great example of "staircase wit," I knew what I should have said in response to his first query:

"Longer than you've been an Indians fan, fuck-o."

In any case, a great night to see our boys put foot to ass..

My favorite is "Why don't you ride the bandwagon back to Boston?!" Some people...

Trot's catch was quite the spectacle- running full tilt, jumping into the wall, catching, AND saving Halama's meatball-throwin' ass.

As far as Ortiz goes- what can I say. I love that man. I highly recommend everyone making this their desktop wallpapaer-

http://weblog.deleteyourself.com/04/06/251419ortiz_has_a_pos.php

//The tired flailings of desperate fans who root for mediocre teams are soooo cute! // - Soooo, how 'cute' were you guys for 86 years or so? SAWX fans crack me up. When YOU remain devoted to a perennial loser you romanticize the hell out of yourselves. Songs are written about it. Books are written about it. Even (kinda crappy) films are made about it.

But when INDIANS fans stay true to their team you mock their efforts as 'The tired flailings of desperate fans who root for mediocre teams'. The fact of the matter is there are a MILLION bandwagon SAWX fans right now and you guys are going to have to deal with it. Face it. Now that you've finally won, you are more like the Yankees and less like the Indians. DOn't you just LOVE that? I know I love saying it....

Great dancing scene by Sheffield and Slappy

http://boston.redsox.mlb.com/images/2005/06/21/ONvpDZfX.jpg

Ah, cool on the "staircase wit." I'd been wanting to use the term esprit d'escalier here myself ever since it came up on Word of the Day a while back.

It took me a long while to realize that 'shua' in panel 2 is the phonetic spelling of 'sure', though I'd say with a Southeastern Mass/Rhode Island phoneticism. I pronounce 'sure' like half the Chinese word for 'thank you', but that's just me. As per bandwagon issues, many of us have a written record of support going back at least a year, even during the .500 club days of mid-summer '04: it's contained in the comments section of this very site.

BigBri,

Oooh.. we're "more like the Yankees?" How you wound me with your biting wit!

I'll think about that and cry myself to sleep wearing my 2004 World Series Champs T-Shirt. :)

Where did I say Indians fans shouldn't be loyal to their team? I just think they should come up with more original and compelling taunts. Calling a Sox fan a "bandwagon jumper" simply means you can't come up with anything substantive to hang over our heads. All the lazy jackasses who used to yell "1918" are groping blindly for a new cliche to spew, and it looks like they found one..

Have fun watching us repeat, my man :)

da kine,

Good point on the "shua." A lot of these are really tough to pull off. A lot of times I have to skip the phonetic thing because it's too difficult to read it and know what word I really mean.

As for that pronunciation sounding more Rhode Islandesque, Susan/Circle did go to RISD and boarding school in CT, so she's going to have some of that Southern NE sound in her.

I don't think the Spankees will have to worry about too many bandwagon fans this year. The NY bandwagon jumpers all seem to be climbing aboard the Mets Express.

As for the Sox being like the Yankees, I'll tell you one way they are different. If the Sox were putting a 20-11 hurtin on the Tampa Bay Devil Dogs, Lou Piniella would have ordered his pitchers to put three or four guys in the hospital before the game was over. But he'll NEVER let any of his guys bean a Crankee. Talk about HYPOCRITES!!!

But I guess it's understandable, since he's just one of the sharks circling a drowning Joe Torre, with his fins in the East River and his lips kissing Stenbrenner's butt.

Beautiful...the Yanks cough it up against the mighty D'Rays...Pavano, 6 2/3, 5 earned......

http://cache.boston.com/images/sports/redsox/2004/1019_david_1024768.jpg

Best Red Sox/David wallpaper I've seen. After rounding third with his 8th inning solo shot that put the Sox down by only one run and ultimately sending the game to the 14th inning in the beginning of the greatest comeback of all times (Tek sac fly would score Roberts just after to tie it up).

More wallpaper here: http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/2004wallpaper/

Looks like the Yankees are 0-2 this week in games against teams from Florida in which they score fewer than 20 runs.

...and don't forget this historic footnote from today's Spankees/Tampa Bay City Rollers game (as reported by Yahoo! Sports):
New York 3B Alex Rodriguez made his team-high 10th error.
HERE WE GO SLAPPY HERE WE GO!!

Laughing right out loud and it's so hard to explain to co-workers!

And Captain Crunch himself, the immortal Hall of Fame lock Derek Jeter, struck out with a runner on third to end the game. Where have you gone, BigBri? Are you a bandwagon-jumping hypocrite too? Or maybe you'll be back again crowing if the Bronx Bombers can pull out a split with the last-place Tampa Bay Dreaded Rays?

Bandwagon Sox fans are easily spotted and dismissed -- the hardcore know who they are, especially down here in Manhattan. Gotta love how Yankees fans lash out after another Bronx defeat at the hands of the mighty D-Rays. (I wonder if Sturtze is having second thoughts about leaving Tampa...) Guess the chat over at Bronx Banter too morbid to bear, eh BigBri? Really, what can you say about a 200-million-team that is getting bitchslapped AT HOME by a scrappy bunch of Devil Rays?!? Boss = Nixon. Go Sox.

I don't know which is cracking me up more? Wacko's face on the toast; the not guilty verdict fresh from the toaster; or pawsoxpop's always amusing repartee.

Super sox me!

PAWSOX - You say you work in Manhattan, but it sounds like you live in FantasyLand. What 'Mets Express' are NYers climbing aboard? Even if there were some bandwagon fans out there, why would they leave the Yankees to root for the last place Mets??? PLEASE, put down the crack pipe. NY belongs to the Yankees. Always has. Always will. The Mets belong to Long Island. As I've mentioned before LI is practically its own world.

Also, anybody who rips on Jeter is not a true baseball fan. All that guy has ever done, is shut his mouth, play hard every single day and win more World Series than you folks can even imagine. If you don't love Jeter, you don't love America. So grab yourself a plane ticket and move to France fer chrissakes!

Peelio (another FANTASTIC name)- I'm going to type this slowly because I know you can't ready very fast. Y O U .... W I L L .... N O T .... R E P E A T.

BigBri,
I had no clue that the speed at which you type a troll comment had an impact on how fast one can read those blatherings once they are posted.

You're a genius!

If you think your $200 million, droppin' 2 of 3 from TB chokers have a better shot at the title than a team that is a game out of first, holding the wild card, and winning 9 of their last 10 WITHOUT THEIR ACE PITCHER... then my friend, you are the one in fantasy land.

I will grant this point: Though I despise him down to the molecular level, Jeter is a helluva great ballplayer.

YOU...WILL...NOT..REPEAT.

Repeating sure would be sweet but not repeating isn't something I'd lose a wink of sleep over.

Really, last year was like manna from heaven, we are still a couple years away from seeing the full Epstein factor. When that comes to fruition, look out.

h.b. - Let me be more precise:

YOU...WILL...NOT...REPEAT...

YOU...WILL...NOT...WIN...AGAIN...THIS...CENTURY...

Wow, I just noticed LilBri's latest idiotic comments. Yes, I should know better, but these two statements are just too dumb to ignore:

"NY belongs to the Yankees. Always has. Always will."

WRONG, dumbass. The Metsies owned the entire city from '69 to '75 and from '84 to '93 when they were good and the Yank-mees sucked. If you were around back then and are still trying to claim otherwise, then you're just completely full of shit. And given the way the two teams are trending, I'd say the Mets own the city again by next summer. Be a good little bandwagon boy and buy your blue and orange gear now, Lil Bri.

"Also, anybody who rips on Jeter is not a true baseball fan. All that guy has ever done, is shut his mouth, play hard every single day and win more World Series than you folks can even imagine. If you don't love Jeter, you don't love America."

Jeter has now surpassed Pete Rose and Nolan Ryan as the most grossly overrated player in baseball history, thanks to the national media ballwashing he's gotten from morons like Tim McCarver. And sorry, but he didn't win those World Series, his team did thanks to Steinbrenner's checkbook. He's the second best shortstop on his own team, and the third best shortstop in the division he plays in. And nothing could be more American than hating an over-hyped, preening, prima-donna overdog like Jeter.

And one last one:

"YOU...WILL...NOT..REPEAT."

Maybe, maybe not, but I sure as hell wouldn't take your word.
The Sox have a far better chance of winning this season than your beloved Chokees do.
Your Beloved Chokees haven't won SHIT this century, and they're headed for a big dry spell.

Amen!

Yankees suck, Jeter swallows, & A-Fraud wipes his chin. Geez, everybody know that!

Course, there might be some trouble brewing if Sheff gets in the way... http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=1756&e=1&u=/050622/ids_photos_sp/r3318410604.jpg

AJM - You don't know Jack about NYC. I wouldn't expect you to, since you're a Beantown boy. But please don't try to pretend that you know anything about how the Mets 'owned' NY during any point in time. When the Mets are doing well, you'll see more hats being worn and read about them more often in the local rags. So what? That has nothing to do with the fan base. The fact of the matter is NY loves the Yankees. Always has. Always will. It doesn't matter what you say or how much you WISH things to be different. Taint so. If you say differently you are WRONG. Are you picking up what I'm putting down? You following me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY PC?!?!?!

Ripping on Jeter or calling him overrated is the classic trap all idiot SAWX fans fall into. You've shown yourself to be a true ass-hat and a baseball ignoramus.

Ice Princess - You are probably one of those skanks I've seen wearing those classy 'Jeter Swallows' T-shirts. Veeery nice. You kiss your mother with that mouth?

I LOVE the fact that this blog will become an archive to all your foolishness and I'll be able to cut, paste and force you all to eat your words.Can't hardly wait...

//AJM - You don't know Jack about NYC. I wouldn't expect you to, since you're a Beantown boy.//

Wrong, Shit-for-Brains. Grew up and still live in Fairfield County; Girlfriend lives on the Upper East Side.

//But please don't try to pretend that you know anything about how the Mets 'owned' NY during any point in time. When the Mets are doing well, you'll see more hats being worn and read about them more often in the local rags. So what? That has nothing to do with the fan base. The fact of the matter is NY loves the Yankees. Always has. Always will. It doesn't matter what you say or how much you WISH things to be different. Taint so. If you say differently you are WRONG. Are you picking up what I'm putting down? You following me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY PC?!?!?!//

LilBri, I realize that you're in reality just a pimple-faced 15-year-old typing this shit in mommy's basement, but with that said, you really are a fucking moron. A total, fucking, retard. That's actually an insult to fucking morons. Aside from your comment that lots of people wearing Met hats doesn't mean anything not even making sense, I was around Manhattan in the late 80's. Everyone cared about Doc and Daryl and Nails and Mex. Everyone wore Met colors. At night, as you walked around, all the bars were showing the Mets game. The Mets owned the town until the Bonilla/Vince Coleman firecracker incident. You have no response to this, because very simply, I'm right and you're not.

So, how's the crappy little blog that shows how bitter you are that the Sox kicked your asses going? Nice little hateful obsession you have there with Sox fans, douchebag.

And LilBri's Beloved Chokees actually manage to blow a series at home to the Devil Dogs. So now the MFYs can't even beat crappy teams at the Toilet. The timetable for Mets gear to take over the city just advanced considerably....viva Pedro! By the way, that final TB run scored from first on what should have been a routine single, except that it took The Corpse of Bernie Williams a half hour to get to the ball. Sad.

Apologies to h.b. for getting down and dirty in the mud with this site's resident MFY Troll. Sorry man, my bad.

AJM - Here's my response:
You live in Fairfield county and your girlfriend lives on the UES. 2 places that are FAR removed from reality. Go put on your little-rich-boy-brand-spankin-new SAWX hat and check out some bars with the other slaves to the latest trends on the Upper East Side with your girlfriend. The rest of us, who live in the real world, will watch some baseball. The Yankees ARE New York. It is as simple as that. If you can't figure it out,that's fine. But PLEASE shut up about it. You are an embarrassment to all SAWX fans everywhere.

Don't apologize to h.b for getting 'down and dirty'. It doesn't reflect poorly on him. It's all on you, Ass-Hat.

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