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Pass the jam

OK, we tried to resist but couldn't take it anymore, so get your gloat on …

Cue the Jeopardy music … 2005 baseball for 300, "This pitcher threw 37 pitches in the first inning Tuesday, and the Devil Rays swung and missed only once, on a bunt attempt."


Who is Kevin Brown?


Brown is 0 fer 4 with an 8.25 ERA … Pass the blueberry jam, I smell toast.


I'm so glad Pope George issued that encyclical a few weeks ago to turn things around for the Yankees. They've gone 7-8 since. Wicked mystique. Wicked awe.


Last year, of course, the Spankees were 8-11 then they went on to win 8 straight and go on a 34-10 run … Anyone think that'll happen this year?


And all this belly flopping after stahting the season with one of the easiest schedules in the AL — They've played 17 of their first 25 in the Bronx but only have a 7-10 home record to show for it.


Even bettah, the Yankees troubles extend beyond the diamond, all 47,000 of their hats for "Cap Weekend" were poached by thieves.


I'm feeling that oh so good schadenfreude tingle.


Author's Notes
Today's character speeches owe much to pages 12 and 13 of the SoSH thread Big Yankee Shakeup.


FYI - Typo on Schadenfreude and excellent use of the word. Things we'll never see. Steinbrenner firing himself for getting Brown. He suffers from amnesia of convenience.

Thanks for the bad spelling alert!

"Things we'll never see."

I'd put a return by BigBri in the forseable future under that heading.

WTF? Did someone hijack the truck the caps were on? How do you steal 47,000 caps?

Speaking of Schadenfreude; I spent Tuesday night through Saturday in Vegas. It was my brother-in-law's 50th birthday. As I am a migrant from Boston to Chicago, he in turn moved from Chicago to northern New Jersey. But, he did it in his early 30's. And having done so he became a turncoat, abandoning the White Sox for the Yankees. When I came home the day after the 2003 ALCS, I found he had called and sung "New York, New York" into my answering machine.

I cut him slack on his birthday. But the next day I wore my "2004 World Series Champion" T-Shirt all day, and my Red Sox cap the day after. He tried the "26 vs. 6" riff, but I came right back with "we got the first and the last" and "biggest choke in major league history" and shut him down. He did note that the MFY had a poor April last year, but I told him not to expect them to come roaring back like last year; their big pitching acquisitions are getting chewed up and that's not going to improve enough.

"But, he did it in his early 30's. And having done so he became a turncoat, abandoning the White Sox for the Yankees."

So, in other words, he's a typical Chokees fan?

Don't worry, he'll be buying his nice new Mets cap by the All-Star Break.

Nice to see the Yanks are going mid to late 80's retro this season. Remember how good baseball was back then with teams like the Royals winning the series, the Sox were always in it, and the Yanks had guys like Steve Howe and Ken Phelps?

Finally, an upside to the Fox Sports D-Rays/Marlins coverage we are subjected to in our market: a lovely D-Rays smackdown on the MFYs. Yes, I said D-Rays AND smackdown and they were not the smackees. So much for the Tampa Bay Yankees Love Train, Georgie.

One word for Georgie, the MFY, and all the MFY "fans" out there:


Don't want to jinx it, and I know it was against the Tigers, but Halama did not look too bad. Helluva lot better than Brown. And was Francona passed some Sabermetrics notes by Theo on Mirabelli as DH last night? Dougie is an asset that is often overlooked. Aside from being able to catch the knuckler (obviously harder than it looks, remember Tek last year) he's got the talent to be an everyday player for less teams. One more of Theo's wicked good moves.

Oh by the way, Sox won yesterday. I like rippin' on the Spanks like the next guy, but let's begin our day with a word of praise for the home town heroes.

Praise over...

I did a google search for evil empire, and found this site. Love today's cartoon.

Nothing makes me happier than watching the pinstriped mercenaries lose unless it's someone creatively adding insult to injury.

"Oh by the way, Sox won yesterday. I like rippin' on the Spanks like the next guy, but let's begin our day with a word of praise for the home town heroes."

Well, aside from Halama and 'Belli's heroics yesterday, the Sox haven't been exactly providing us with a lot to be excited about lately. But I agree that I would much rather be praising the Sox than ridiculing the MFYs. It's just that it's been a very long time since we could enjoy this much MFY schadenfreude in the spring; ususally we don't get to experience it until the fall. May it be 1965 all over again!


"300 hundred" typo in the 1st panel.

If you'll allow me to yet again pull back the curtain to reveal the reality of the man working the controls (Wizard of Ox reference), let me say that regarding topic selection, I'm limited by the set up of having two characters go back and forth.

That is, I can't cover every topic of the day, as you can imagine, but even trying to cover two different topics, say, the Red Sox win last night AND picking on the Yankees, can be difficult.

One way to look at The Soxaholix, as opposed to a more traditional blog or a site like SoSH that covers EVERY imaginable Red Sox topic, is to think of it as if you're a voyeur getting a brief glimpse into the day's conversation between two of the Soxaholix characters. Today for instance, Mike and Circle certainly did talk about the Red Sox win, how Hallama did, and so on and so forth, but the only part we were privy too was the part about the MFY schadenfreude.

Isn't a message from the Pope called a bull? Suits George perfectly . . .

This website is great. Makes my day, whether we win or lose the night before. thanks. still tend to think the Sox are fine this year; making many of the same dufus moves and LOB like last year. just stay close to the Orioles, while watching the Yanks and Mr Slappy implode.

By the way, have you seen the Bronson pictures going around? That surely is some fresh "meat" for the site, no? Apparently the source of the pictures is a girlfriends not-password-protected photo album... wow... go bronson..


I actually go to the NY papers online to soak in the hatred for the Spankees by the sports columnists. It is delicious. As a side note, to assist hb with an early-morning typo, I find it a bit rude when folks comment with it. It also appears silly since the comment remains after he corrects the typo. Just my opinion, is all.

I see your point, Da Kine, though I had never really thought about these comments living in perpetuity. HB did mention a few months ago he appreciated the "help," but perhaps he'd prefer it be done via e-mail? Or even set up a basic rule that any typo posts just get deleted once the typo is fixed. H.B.?

Definitely appreciate anyone and everyone pointing out the typos or other errors.

Emailing direct works the best, but if you do leave a typo/mistake notice in the comments, that's OK too.

I'll try to remember to delete the comment (if it's only about the typo) after the fact in those cases per your suggestion.

I'd be more inclined to bash Yankees if the Red Sox weren't aiming squarely at mediocrity. 14-12 is not exactly an aspiring start to a season...

"14-12 is not exactly an aspiring start to a season..."

No, it sure isn't. (Did the characters ever imply anything different?"}

You're wrong anonymous. I bet you $20 the Yankees aspire to 14-12. A lot of other teams too.

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