« April 2005 |
Main
| June 2005 »
The quest for first place suffers a temporary setback as the Sox get beaten back by the Orioles, but …
Lisa the Temp:
Yes, Lisa the Temp again to tell you The Soxaholix are too busy because of shortened week at day job to talk about the Red Sox.
Lisa the Temp:
What? Did you say something? I hope I didn't hear you bitching. You got a weekend strip and a holiday strip, right?
Lisa the Temp:
If there's any bitching to do around here I'll be the one doing it. Look at this flipping computer they stick me with? Oh, I see, I'm just the temp. Why would a temp need more than 4 keys on her computer?
Lisa the Temp:
I Ctrl+Alt+Del all your sorry full time with benefits asses to hell.
Tara from home:
Ah, yet again, Theo and his gang of stats geeks appear smarter than the average fan. Imagine that?
Bill from home:
Heh. Except for that first inning, Wells was a frickin monstah.
Bill from home:
And just as good was the offense in all three games. Talk about having good eyes, 51 hits in just 3 games?! Wow.
Bill from home:
Absolutely. And as we bask in our own resplendence, let's not forget to give thanks on this Memorial Day to all brave folks who've paid the ultimate sacrifice for our country.
Tara from home:
Righteous.
Bill from home:
No friggin joke. People like LaRussa thinks we're a bunch of A-Holes as fans because of our expectations, but we more than any one want so much for a playah like Edgah to succeed.
Bill from home:
Loved seeing all those Yankees fans streaming out of the Stadium in the 7th.
Doug:
Absolutely, but it'll be Pyrrhic victory if the Sox get beat tonight.
Bill from home:
I've got a good feeling about our favorite fustilugs Wells.
Doug:
Wells with the rookie Kelly Shoppach catching in his first Major League staht … prepayah yourself for destiny.
Boston is swept by Toronto …
Bill:
Jeez, when I said I'd give the club a mulligan this season aftah winning the World Series, somehow, you know, 4th place isn't what I had in mind.
Bill:
1997 when the Sox finished in 4th and boy bands ruled the radio airwaves? Fuck, I want none of that, none of that I tell you.
Bill:
The Red Sox need a collective MMMBop on the head.
Bill:
Moneyball has so fucking jumped the shahk.
Doug:
Yeah, like "the internet" is a being that gets immaculately conceived and then, lo and fucking behold, gives birth to anotha rumah.
Mike:
Speaking of, our own beloved Red Sox act like their auditioning for a paht in the next zombie movie.
Doug:
Wondah what it's going to feel like to root for a 4th place team?
Mike:
We may find out as soon as this weekend. Not that I'm being fucking negative or anything.
Mike:
Toronto hits for the cycle in the 4th!? A 6.81 ERA!? 52 hits in 37 innings!? Talk about a case of flusterpation.
Susan/Circle:
I'm still trying to figure out what Theo and his band of geeky paste eatahs were thinking when they signed Wells.
Mike:
This season is shaping up like last season … on again off again glimpses of greatness but mostly mediocre .500 play thru early summah.
Susan/Circle:
And that's the bitch isn't it? I mean aftah what happened last yeah how can one get too freaked out about anything this yeah?
Mike:
This "wait and see glass half full don't panic" it a lot fucking hahdah than it looks.
Susan/Circle:
It goes against our collective na-cha.
Mike:
It creates a metastasizing emotional conundrum.
Susan/Circle:
It's a nightmare of relativism from which I cannot awake.
Mike:
How do people live like this?
Susan/Circle:
The happy-go-lucky state of being is so fucking overrated.
Doug:
We had the snowiest wintah evah, now the coldest spring evah and our second "freak" nor'estah in May … Who the fuck knew hell freezing ovah would have such adverse effects on the local conditions?
Bill:
If that's the price we have to pay for winning it all, then let it rain and snow all summah.
Bill:
You know you've almost gotta feel bad for columnists like Murray Chass as every day they get sucked further into the black hole of irrelevance with the public.
Bill:
I remembah writing Shaughnessy an email back in mid 90s, back when the web was just getting going, to take issue with something he said and the prick writes back, I'll never forget it, he wrote back with "If you're so smart, why don't you get a job like mine and get your own column?"
Doug:
Ah, the hubris of these guys. You think the CHB still responds to readers that way considering that a whole bunch of smart fans did start their own columns by way of blogs?
Bill:
I suspect the egos of these columnists are too lahge to make them realize that these days when I want to read opinion and analysis of the Yankees, I'm not going to look to a Murray Chass but to a Cliff Corcoran.
Doug:
Right, just like we turn to Allan Wood or Surviving Grady or any number of the Red Sox bloggers for our daily dish these days instead of the homogenized, agenda ridden, same old Newsak crap guys like Shaughnessy peck out.
Bill:
Yeah, whether it's Newsweek making up stories about Quoran flushing or someone in the Boston media cherry picking playah quotes to create a fictional storyline, the game is up. Enjoy your irrelavancy. fellas.
The Red Sox took 2 of 3 from the Braves, but a vocal contingent of the Nation is losing patience with Edgar Renteria …
Mike:
So the boo birds are roosting on Renteria's struggles big time.
Doug:
But it's not just the bat woes it's the 8 errors and no evidence of speed that has us thinking Theo laid his second turd with this signing.
Mike:
You know that hit he gave up to the Mets' reliever Koo was only Koo's second at bat since Little League?
Mike:
Beatiful. Buck 'n' McCarvah and Johnson both spanked. Thank your favorite supreme being for life's little miracles.
Bill:
You know Bob Ryan is one of my favorite sportswriters, but, is it me or did his column today just not make any sense?
Mike:
It's a column in search of a thesis. Is it everyone outside of the Boston/New York corridor is sick of the rivalry? Or is it that the "times are different today"? Or is that the Orioles were once good, then they sucked for yeahs, now they might be good again so we should be calling into EEI saying deep down we want to give a friendly guy slap on the ass to Mike Flanagan?
Bill:
No shit, and if things were so different back in the so-called day, then why did fans have to "secretly" admire the Canadians or Orioles? Doesn't that suggest a, pardon my French, Plus Ça Change, Plus C'est La Même Chose situation?
Mike:
And you can tell when a columnist or anyone else is getting long in the tooth when they say something like "it wasn't so long ago" and then they bring up 1966? Not so long ago? For fuck's sake that's nearly 4 decades ago.
Bill:
Yeah, it wasn't so long ago that we were at war with the Japanese now they play on our baseball teams. So, Bob, "where did we go wrong" with that one?
Bill:
Meanwhile the Orioles fall from being the "gold standahd" to being an also ran over the last 20 yeahs or so didn't have anything to do with having Angelos as manager or horrible front office decisions, no, it's all because of the rich Red Sox and Yankees.
Bill:
Absolutely. So forgive me if I don't get all moist in the eyes like Ryan when I see the Baltimore Orioles temporarily in first place in the AL East.
David Wells doesn't make it through 2 innings giving up 9 hits and 7 runs before getting lifted …
Steve:
I'm so friggin glad David Wells rushed right back into the rotation, we sure as hell need his help.
Steve:
His fullness looms like a room full of obsolete tools.
Steve:
Yeah, but what if the 86 year drought was from not having enough red? When did the Sox introduce the Sunday red jersey, 2003?
Doug:
Holy coincidences, Batman, 5 outs from the World Series in 2003 and winning the whole shabang in 2004 and due to red jerseys on home Sundays?
Steve:
Some curly haired guy should write a book about this intriguing phenomenon.
Doug:
Yeah, and call it "The Curse of the Red Herring."
Soxaholix Community
Content created by and for Soxaholix readers:
