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Blue Jay Way

The Sox finally get to open at home after a dissapointing 2 and 4 season opening road trip …

Doug:
While it's too early to draw any conclusions about the Red Sox after just 6 games, I'm a year late in making this pronouncement:: The Blue Jays have the most hideous uniforms in the Majors.

 

Bill:
I know. Where Tampa Bay's are just in poor taste, Toronto's are an ornithological abomination.

 

Doug:
Seriously. How do you fuck up something as perfectly simple as a blue jay? Add some metallic embossed font and bird's head all looking beady eyed and cranked out.

 

Bill:
No shit. It's like they got embarrassed after the fact that they went with a blue jay mascot so had to add some cholo graffiti artist street cred to it.

 

Doug:
If your mascot is a song bird, you just can't come along and try to trick that shit out.

 

Bill:
Seriously. Show the bird some fucking respect, will ya?

 

Doug:
Look at St. Louis? Look at Baltimore? That's how you fucking represent your fine feathered friend.

 

Bill:
You can't pretend the common, conspicuous, and noisy blue jay is a some sort of flesh tearing raptah just for the fuck of it.

 

Doug:
If evolution had favored a beady eyed fucked up looking flesh tearing carnivorous blue jay, then that's what we'd have.

 

Bill:
The saddest fucking thing is this notion of "rebranding" a ball club.

 

Doug:
Yeah, yeah, it's like, "Our team has been shitty for several years now and the fans aren't coming out to the pahk. What can we do to change this?"

 

Bill:
Spend money on free agents? Develop the farm system?

 

Doug:
No, damnit, no! Let's think the fuck outside the box heah … I've got it! We'll create a new primary mark that will be the launching point for the rebranding process!

 

Bill:
Absolutely brilliant. And make the blue jay all fierce looking and shit. That'll work.

 

Comments

Let's pray to god or buddah or allah or vishnu or santa or whatever freaking other deity you believe in that the Red Sox actually start playing some baseball once they get back to the Fens. Losing 1 of 3 to the Yanks the second go 'round (or worse) would be a real blow both to our self confidence and the record.

Come on Wakefield.

The sad thing is, blue jays actually ARE really mean and nasty and aggressive. They're known for violently divebombing animals and birds much larger than themselves to prevent what they see as possible threats to their nests, themselves, or just for the general sake of blue jay orneriness. You don't want to get between a blue jay and its nest, it can and will cut you up pretty badly.

This is as opposed to a cardinal or an oriole, both of which are pretty good-natured birds in comparison. I mean, the oriole's claim to fame is that you can attract it to your yard by leaving out fruit, fercrissakes. At least the blue jay is actually mean.

That's no excuse for stylizing the hell out of the poor thing, though.

Too funny about the blue jay actually being a fierce bird.

What about the story in yesterdays globe about the red sox removing the nest of a red tailed hawk from inside the park? That can't be good mojo. It could actually explain our recent troubles with the jays.

Funny you should mention ugly uniforms. I think you'll change your mind about the Jays after you see what the Rockies were wearing yesterday. Shiny black sweater-vests with silver trim. PURPLE SLEEVES. And gray pants w/black pinstripes.

Wow, those Rockies have one ugly uniform...

Wow, those Rockies uni's are really something! I'd have trouble playing in something that weird.

Reminds me, you know they've done studies about how the color inside the bill of the cap can effect hitters? That's why they are all light gray now where they used to be dark green or blue. They found that had the most positive effect on hitters.

You'd think knowing that, clubs would be more judicious about really whacky color combos and uniform styles.

Oh my god. That Rockies uni looks like some kind of bad scifi movie costume.

"If evolution had favored a beady eyed fucked up looking flesh tearing carnivorous blue jay, then that's what we'd have."

Almost spit out my Mountain Dew on that one, h.b. Fucking brilliant.


Those bluejays jerseys are wicked
ugly. Isn't this all about revenue? who
would wear that jersey? The writing on
the back is even more stupid than the
front. I can't really hate the Jays
because their AA affiliate is the NH
Fisher Cats who BTW have a cool angry
weasel looking thing as a mascot

I likethat Fisher Cats logo. I've been wanting to get a t-shirt but they want something ridiculous like 20 bucks for the shirt AND 7.95 for shipping and handling. Gouge me with one or the other but not both fercrissakes.

HB killer rant. Maybe if they want some dangerous looking logo they should have gone for a seagull or something, have you not watched 'The Birds' Hitchcock knew the risks.

I think we're all missing one important aspect of the new Jays logo--the conspicuous absence of a maple leaf as compared to Bluejays past.

It's like they're saying, "We're not as Canadian as those friggin' Expos were. We're willing to tone it down." Maybe they don't want to end up being next year's Charlotte Sharecroppers.

losing to the blue gays is terrible enough, sure, but having to see people in those horrible uniforms celebrating during the espn highlights is like receiving a kick to the nuts. on an off topic that borders on treason: the nats uniform looks wicked pissah. i said it. don't hate though, i'm still wearing my red jersey whenever practical.

personally, i think any uni looks good if the player's also wearing a big fat WS ring on his finger...

I'm really starting to hate that fucking Wells pickup. Yeah I fucking said it! The guy pitched well at PETCO!! 'Roided up BALCO Bonds couldn't jack 40 in that yard. It's like the best pitcher's park there is. Who thought this guy cold still pitch?

I hope he proves me wrong, but right now I'm just hoping Schill can carry the load (even though he looked like shit in Pawtucket). And I'd like to see what Wade Miller does, because Clement is looking like he might "Ankeil Out" on us too.

Thanks Boston fan in Michigan for the bird lesson, but as George Harrison said in BJ Way: "Please don't take very long...I might fall asleep." Damon does want to know more about the titmouse, though. Also, Drew (Bosox Nation in Texas)? Come on, there's only one village idiot in Texas and he's in DC. Stop looking at #3 as some fat-assed ex-Yankee. In spite of Mangoe-boy's fast start, Wells will have more wins by Sept. 1st.

PA Pesky...

You come on! Wells is a HAS BEEN. Maybe you've got those Bean Town goggles on a little too tight buddy. The point is, he IS an fat-assed ex-Skankee. And don't question my devotion to the team just becasue I question a move or live in Texas. First of all, not everyone in TX likes the "village idiot" you speak of. Second, I'm really from Colorado and when I was a kid we didn't have a major league team (still don't as far as I'm concerned), and I loved the Green Monster, hated the Yankees, and the rest is history. Third, Wells should be 4th or 5th in that rotaion at best, end of story.

I still say I hope you're right, and the "fat-assed ex-Skankee" proves me wrong.

Drew... I thought I was a long-range Nation boy in Penna. but Colorado? That earns you some cred.You also said the 3 magic words: "hated the Yankees." If #3 doesn't turn out the way I think he will, I'll throw a donut at him in September when the sawks come to Camdem Yards and tell him it's from Drew. You're right the rest IS history...the spankeys on the step clapping at the opener...almost as good as last Oct.

Actually, Blue Jays are fucked up flesh eating monsters. Check this out:
http://www.fingel.com/2008/04/bluejays-are-carnivores/

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