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Yankees see, monkeys do

Bill:
Hey, do you remembah the bitch Catalano?

 

Mike:
The Long Island Bloggita? The little list makah? The "I'll nevah blog again! Just kidding." Bloggah on the verge of a nervous breakdown Red Sox hatah Catalano?

 

Bill:
Yeah, yeah, that's the one.

 

Mike:
Nevah fucking heard of her. [Laughs]

 

Bill:
So she's gathahd together a skanky entourage of eunuchs and ho's to create A Coalition of the Chokah Side.

 

Mike:
Ah, beautiful. Love that fucking purple background.

 

Bill:
Yeah, sorta just says "Yankees" doesn't it? Well, at least the recent version. It's a fitting color for the wounded.

 

Mike:
No shit. That's why they have to reach all the way back to '78 and a photo of Bucky Corked Bat Dent to try to cling to some shred of now vanished mystique and awe.

 

Bill:
It's kinda sad, really. Meanwhile, I didn't know that photo was in public domain? Last time I checked the AP still owned the copyright

 

Mike:
Yeah, why let a little thing like intellectual property rights get in your way? Rules? Fuck rules, we're Spankees fans! … Pathetic.

 

Bill:
Well, when their formah star sluggah is confessing to 'roids and their 5 tool pretty boy admits to cheating and says he'd do it again, can you expect much bettah from the fans?

 

Mike:
Yankees see, monkeys do.

 

A few hours later …

Bill:
Dude, that Spankees site changed their background to red and got rid of the Bucky "Used to Mean Something" Dent photo!

 

Mike:
Behold our powah.

 

Bill:
Yeah, as Doug always says, "Our resplendence has no bitch!"

 

Comments

It's purple in honour of A-Rod's manstick.
-m
No, not that. The stuff on his lips.

Last year we were the insurgents, this year we're the incumbents. Feels pretty damn good.

First off, here's wishing a speedy recovery for Da Kline, thoughts go out to you and your family. Get better and get home safely.

Second, Just want to point out my comment from that Cracker Jack strip last May: "it has only been 85 seasons without a championship, a string which of course will end this season."

You can now call me Nostra-Fucking-damus!

As for Catalano, never got the appeal. MFY-loving, Sox-bashing wingnut psycho who apparently is convinced that Al Quaida has placed her and her armpit piece-of-crap Long Island hometown at the top of its hit list. Is she still seething with jealousy of Wonkette? I see that other moron, Jay Caruso, is also posting on that dopey new site.

Oh, and one more thing:

RIP, Dick Radatz. Horrible, sad news. Mickey Mantle's worst nightmare: having to face the Monster again...

'78? How 'bout 2003? Aaron Boone bitches.

Or to translate into language you retarded monkeys might understand,


It's twentah six tah two, ya feckin hahd-on.

How about 2004? How about the Sox having six world championships? How about me not being 12, so I can say fuck without mommy taking away my internet access for the week. Have a nice day.

Hey, you've got a new MFY troll, h.b.! This one's too fucking easy:

"It's twentah six tah two, ya feckin hahd-on."

No, it's 26 to 6, you fucking moron. And it's one to fucking zip THIS CENTURY, douchebag. Year Two-Thou-sand! clap/clap/clapclapclap

And you're still celebrating Aaron 'who gives a crap?' Boone after last year's choke job? That was a gift to you by Grady Little that you farted away by CHOKING to the Florida Fucking Marlins.

Oh yeah...Aaron Boone...

He respected his contract with the NYY so much he opted to play pick up basketball.

"It's twentah six tah two, ya feckin hahd-on."

What is it with Yankee fans and their obsession with events that have passed in baseball history?

Babe Ruth, 1918, etc? Yawn...

Is the present that difficult to endure? The last remnants of a proud dynasty that passed 5 years ago--this is all that remains, I suppose.

The ebb and flow of the game is harsh--we understand this well...

Actually, if the preferred subject is baseball history, let's discuss the first team to ever win a 7 game series after falling to a 3 - 0 deficit...shall we? That event made baseball history.

Dude, your third baseman slaps people. C'mon...

By the way, Skillzy's website has an image "Photoshopped" to fucking high comedy effect. I strongly recommend it!

What's up, Da Kine.


My own haiku:

Obsessed with the past
Cannot handle the present
Poor, poor Yankee fans

H.B, you fuckin rock.

"Behold our powah."

Later today, I'll be laughing about this over my Black and Tan. Nice work HB.

Can't nobody fuck with the haiku...

Hey, just wanted to say that I'm a fan of Michele, even if she is part of the dark side, so the character speeches were meant to be fun and not outright mean. (The same is true for when they went after that stupid "blogging is an art form" post at Tony Pierce's site. I'm also a Tony fan, but I won't let an opportunity pass to rip anyone.)

I love the rivalry between Sox and Yankees fans, and Michele is one of the best instigators of all.

Plus, she hates Roger Clemens, which one has to admire about her.

Now back to name calling...

Even their fans are infected with the choke-at-all-costs syndrome...where are the balls of the supposedly harsh MFY fans? Why take the pic down? Can't handle the pressure I guess...
GWSDK

Love the Haiku Brian.

Let's all go over to Michele's website and leave lots of Red Sox World Champions comments to her blog...

Already did Jeff...even though I made a gramatical error and maybe get burned for it, I left my mark on the boneyard.

How about 2004? Even the sun shines on a dog's ass some day. Let's see, 30 teams in the league, 86 years, you do the math. Had to happen eventually.
So let's talk about the present, not live in the past. I'd love to see that fat fuck David Wells shit the bed in the playoffs for you guys instead of us, it's just too bad you're not even making the playoffs. You're pitching is junk this year, good luck getting a wildcard. Let's face it; you have a white guy with corn rows on your team, and Schilling won't be ready for opening day. What's the matter, he ran out of ketchup to put on his sock? Usually blood turns brown after a few hours, but not for Curt the skirt - Heinz hold's its color well

"you have a white guy with corn rows on your team"

Beats having a guy with blue lips who slaps balls.

Year Two-thou-sand! clap/clap/clapclapclap

The 2004 MFYs: Biggest Postseason Chokers Ever.

h.b., even if you do like this michele person, the fact that the blog looks COMPLETELY different because of what you said is the best.

rock on with your bad self.

"Let's face it; you have a white guy with corn rows on your team...blood turns brown after a few hours, but not for Curt the skirt - Heinz hold's its color well"

Dude, you're like spring break; no class.

Yes, I got that one from Rudy on the Fat Albert Show, but the point remains...

Um, yeah, way to frame the debate, loser. He looks bad with his hair? How 'bout this breaking news flash from Baseball Plays for the Queer Guy:

10/18/04
Yankee Tenth
Bronson Arroyo pitching
Jeter popped out to shortstop.
Rodriguez struck out swinging.
Sheffield struck out swinging.

Or were you hoping to get it done with the bottom of the order to prove a point?

"Our pitching is junk" - yeah, let's rattle off the Yankees successes: Contreras, Brown, Vasquez, Sturtze...

And while we're talking about shitting the bed, how about Rivera and the sleepwalking defense behind him? I can't think of any greater playoff bedshitters than them. No wonder Pettite walked away, he knew the spanks were just another overpaid allstar team with no soul.

Keep coming back, Collins, every word you write just illustrates how desperately you need the affirmation of your baseball team winning a world championship.

The yankees had better win it all this year... What is the point of buying an all star team, and bench players half the other teams in the league can't afford for starters, if they don't win.

This century

Boston 4 parades

New York 0 parades

BTW: Steven King thinks you
suck too, I hope he sends and
evil dog to your house...

Just took a tour of that site...wow. What a bunch of maroons. They actually let that Rhodes Scholar Collins make posts from his parents' basement. And Caruso hawking t-shirts infringing on the MFYs' trademark...

" ... and bench players half the other teams in the league can't afford for starters ... "

No offense among Sox fans, Jeff, but who exactly are we talking about here? Bubba Crosby? Rey Sanchez? Doug Glanville?

The Yankees' bench sucks. Real bad. Which is ridiculous on a team that, as you point out, can afford just about anything.

I'm thinking there's a greater-than-50% chance that this is the year the wheels come off for the Yanks.

Yep, Brian beat me to it about the MFYs' bench. It was horrible last year, in contrast to the fantastic bench that Theo put together, and that ended up being one of the more significant factors in the Sox' ALCS win. And the MFYs' bench could be worse this year, and that's before taking into account the fact that Tony Womack is a starter for that team. Very simply Ca$hman wastes a ton of money, and squanders a large portion of the MFYs' financial advantage. If he knew what he was doing, they'd win 140 games with that payroll, and steamroll through October.

hahah look at these morose muthafuckas right here. 4 parades in Boston, but only 1 was a world series parade. Oh what happened Teddy? You wanna talk about doin the juice, alot of people have strokes at 31.
But back to baseball. This might be my favorite quote today:

"Keep coming back, Collins, every word you write just illustrates how desperately you need the affirmation of your baseball team winning a world championship."

Yeah that's what I need, because in my lifetime it happens more often than leapyear. Yet you're probably the only person in your family to even see a Bosox player holding a trophy. Almost, ALMOST, as good as a Tanyon Sturtze reference. Our long reliever would be your #4, and you're gonna talk about pitching? Bitch please.

I'm gonna lay it out like this. I'll take any amount of action you want for the AL east pennant. You wanna put a grand on the sox? 10 grand? Show me the money punks, then we'll talk. Just remember that the juice is runnin', and we're not talkin about white broncos. So who wants to put their money where their mouth is?

oh LORD that's a pathetic bunch over there. my favorite is the first (only?) post from Chris, the former Cubs fan. it's too ridiculously funny to be true:

"The Cubs are dead to me. 44 years of endless humiliation and inaptitude is more than enough...
God, I so look forward to mocking those provincial mopes from bean town who, lets face it, get lucky oooooh about once a century. Bill Buckner, Bill Buckner,Bill Buckner. Hah! Fools all, run in fear of that name, as well they should for a return to glory will no doubt take another century or so..."

"Oh what happened Teddy? "

You're consistent.

Bluster over substance.

And you don't have 10k...I can just tell...

Well, we've now gone from just knowing that Collins is a moron, to knowing that he's a complete sack of shit. Making fun of Tedy Bruschi's health. Baseless speculation about steroid. Real classy. Typical MFY fan.


I'm gonna lay it out like this. I'll take any amount of action you want for the AL east pennant. You wanna put a grand on the sox? 10 grand? Show me the money punks, then we'll talk. Just remember that the juice is runnin', and we're not talkin about white broncos. So who wants to put their money where their mouth is?

I'll bet $1000 that you still live with your parents

I'm gonna lay it out like this. I'll take any amount of action you want for the AL east pennant. You wanna put a grand on the sox? 10 grand? Show me the money punks, then we'll talk. Just remember that the juice is runnin', and we're not talkin about white broncos. So who wants to put their money where their mouth is?

keep your momma's milk money

Nope, I don't have 10K, but I work for a guy who can cover whatever you want to lay down. It's just funny how fast the subject changes when you talk about betting on the sox though...I heard that's how the great depression started. Of course, it didn't end in Boston until last year, but we won't get into that.
As for Teddy Bruschi, all I have to say is waaaadaaa meeenaaah soonnaaahah frenntaaaaa. Does it smell like burning hair and copper in here, or is that just you Ted?

Like I said, they let this dope be a regular contributor to that site.

Ah, "Mr Collins" has just had his IP blocked for his last comment that crossed the line as for what I'll tolerate in my house.

It's an imaginary line, but like the Supreme Court says about porn, I know it when I see it.

I'll be at the bar...cheers.

Yep, h.b., I had a feeling you were gonna have to block him at that point. If you had let him continue to post tasteless crap like the Bruschi remarks, every thread would just end up being a long flame war....not worth the trouble. Too bad. He's over there now bragging about getting blocked; what a guy.

So much to say.

1. Collins didn't realize DaveL was on his side.

2. AJM couldn't have supported my point any better, the MFY squander their money. What I was saying, Brian, is that the Yankees spend more on bench than other's spend on starters, I wasn't saying it was worth it. I am not trying to be adversarial, but take a look at a team like the Indians, where the majority of their starters are making under $400K. Sanchez is making $1M.

3. About the steroids hearings, the politians are such power mongers. The issue they over look is risk vs reward. They neglect to realize that for some players, steroids was the difference between making $80,000 a year, and $1,000,000 a year (or more) I am not for Steroids, in any means, in any way at all, but the politians just want to be right. I am with Schilling, keep the gov't out, all they will do is fuck it up.

DaveL, Sorry, you may not have been on Collins side after all, but the wording sounded as if you were. My apologies.

Jeff

H.B.
What the $%^#$%&, my brother? I'm scrolling down getting f-ing crazy with ideas to put that tonaly challenged pizza delivery fuck to sleep with and YOU BLOCK HIM. I was getting ready to napalm his intelectually challenged ass. I have been holding back on the biggest slam against NY one could ever imagine! I thought tonite would see it appear. But no, you (I reluctantly admit) did the right thing and put the fire out, before we turned it into Lakehurst NJ back when that Zepplin went up. As far as what NY'ers can grasp, do you think Ford and GM send Toyota and Honda shit like "Well, you may be number 1 now, but we used to have the best selling car, the Vega!" Or "Take your 10 year full powertrain warranty and your EPA Approved 48 MPG and stick them in that 28 square cubic foot trunk!" These Yankee ball washers will all be dealt with by Jesus, personally. And preferably sooner than later. Several weeks ago we had a f-ing blast here with some great Yank fans. This cockroach breeding fuck turns into a mosh pit then has the balls shit on Bruschi? Dude, it's a fucking game, all of it. Hey Collins: It's time to drive your little sister to the library. And as I pull my freshly drained fuck stick out of your mother's throat, as soon as she swallows that 40 oz shot of baby batter I left all over her tonsils, she's going to tell you dinner's ready.


Jeff, no problem...

I read yesterday about how Yankee
fans are yelling at Steven King that
he sucks...

The guy is a devoted fan who drives
from maine with a broken pelvis. he
doesn't need punks giving him crap...

Peace DaveL.

Hey, Collins, don't let that alligator mouth over ride your peckerwood-ass, chump.

I am going to extrapolate my earlier jejune comments in the following -- perhaps less obtuse -- fashion, so as not to tergiversate.

I will accept any amount of "action" you desire for the pennant of the American League East.

That is to say: Would you care to place one thousand dollars upon the Boston Red Sox? With such funding you must be hasty. Ten thousand dollars? Again, it behooves you to display the cash forthwith, and, these terms being met by the concerned parties, we shall commence our conversation.

Ah, now you are no longer so jocose!

Nevertheless, I do ask you to keep in mind -- given the preceeding -- that the "juice" is in motion. And when I offer this as evidence, well, we are not discussing white Broncos, if you are privy to my meaning.

Such, then, is the state of our hermeneutics. Who would care to place their money in the proximity of their mouths?

What's with the gambling obsession?

If someone is morally opposed to gambling and hence has no interest in waging on sports or anything else, how does it follow that the non-gambling fan somehow doesn't "believe" in their team's chances?

Also, not to be pedantic, but I'm pretty sure that using this site in an effort to take bets breaks a couple of laws, no?

So enough on the gambling thing already, OK?

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