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A-Rod's Killah Moves

As long as Alex Rodriguez continues to flap his gums to reporters, there'll be no end to the merriment among Soxaholix everywhere …

Mike:
No friggin' wondah the great A-Rod has so many World Series rings with that massive if not masochistic workout regimen … 200 yard sprints, pushing sleds, running stairs, and all this before breakfast!

 

Susan/Circle:
And then when the great one does finally, finally, become a mere mortal to take nourishment, his morning repast consists of eggs from his own cage free hens and toast made from a 7-grain loaf he baked with his own, superbly gifted hands.

 

Mike:
Abso-effin-lutely. And then, after reading seven newspapers in four different languages, the great one takes his daily conference call with Kofi Annan and the ICC to discuss the troubling situation in Darfur.

 

Susan/Circle:
Hey, it's not easy being the greatest ballplayer in the world. He has "responsibilities" for fuck's sake. He's not like the others. He's the "final piece of the puzzle" and the single reason the Yankees were supposed to win.

 

Mike:
And Yankees fans think Schilling has an ego problem? Jeez. A-fraud can't even admit that his pussy ball slap, one of the saddest and most feeble moments in all of sport, was a mistake?

 

Susan/Circle:
Yeah, Slappy says it was a smart play that he'd do all ovah again. But this time, oh this time, he's gonna hurt someone with his weight and velocity and his supah killah dropping the shoulder down move.

 

Mike:
Oooh. Not the dropping the shoulder down move! Scary. Scary.

 

Susan/Circle:
You know how those mujahedeen fucks "captured" that U.S. soldier that later turned out to be a GI Joe doll or some shit? Next thing you know A-Rod's going to release video showing him standing triumphantly  ovah a Jason Varitek bobblehead doll.

 

Mike:
Yeah and he'll get Steinbrenner on the phone, "Look, Daddy, I did it! I kicked Varitek's ass. Can you see it, Daddy? It's him. Do you love me now, Daddy? It's my dropping the shoulder move, Daddy! You told me I could do it, Daddy, and I did!"

 

Comments

h.b., you warm the dark days of winter. A-Fraud was truly born to be in pinstripes, and has lowered the Bronx Bumholes to a new level of patheticness.

Patheticity?

Pathetification. Man, it is almost worth reading A-Fraud's incessant facial diarrhea so that we can mock him mercilessly AND find out that Steinbrenner chewed his ass so bad that his blue lips were a'quivering.

A-Rod's "dropping the shoulder down move" is something he does while he gives Jeter the reach around! What a waste of space!!

Is there anything worse (or in this case, more funny) than someone who actually believes their own hype so totally hook line and sinker?

About as funny as someone desparately trying to put a positive spin on the Talking To he got from his boss.

So, basically, the Best Player In Baseball just admitted he cheated and was trying to get away with something and next time he is going to try harder to cheat.

Yep, he's dumbing down the pinstripes at the most rapid of paces.


"So, basically, the Best Player In Baseball just admitted he cheated and was
trying to get away with something and next time he is going to try harder
to cheat."

That sums it up perfectly.

Can we start a dead pool here at Soxaholic HB to pick the day that Jeter finally snaps and beats A-Fraud senseless in front of the hometown crowd?

Just typing that gives me goosebumps.

You know, Minky doesn't look very manly in that picutre, either...

I gotta give him credit, he sure is dogged in his quest to make himself to most loathed baseball player ever.

Alex Rodriguez: $21,726,881

Jason Varitek: $6,900,000

Hanging the Photoshop picture of Slappy with the purse at my workplace where every MFY fan has to see it EVERY SINGLE DAY: Priceless

Hanging the picture of Tek bitchslapping A-fraud right in his blue lips right next to it: Icing on the cake

Having Steinbrenner poison his own clubhouse: Proof that there is a God

As Carleton Fisk once said, "Wearing the pinstripes used to mean something ..."

I've been living out here in Chicago for a while, and Fisk (as you all well know) played for the White Sox when he got pissed off at the Red Sox. One fine day, when Fisk was about 38 and my then 3-year old kid could outrun him, a Yankee batter swung at a 3rd strike and missed. Fisk dropped it. The batter just started jogging to first base, although he had speed. Fisk got up to throw him out, saw the runner dogging it, and proceeded to chase the guy down the 1st base line with the ball and made him run it out or get tagged out by an old man. Then he absolutely ripped the guy, and the Yankees in general, a new one in a post-game rant, delivering the line above among others. Steinbrenner reputedly roasted the guy himself as well. Jim Millar wrote a "Tank McNamara" cartoon showing Fisk kicking the guy's ass down the line instead of tagging him.

"And teammates say Tom Gordon was so unnerved by the series' pressure, he was throwing up in the bullpen before failing to hold a two-run lead in Game 5."

Big deal. Glenn Hall (Hall of Fame goalie) used to puke before every game. Then he'd go and get a shutout.

"(Umpire) Jim Joyce told me, 'if you'd knocked the crap out of (Arroyo) it would've been legal because he was in your way.'"

True, actually. But then maybe Arroyo holds onto the ball and he's out. And maybe someone kicks his ass when they get the chance, instead of just laughing at him.

re pregame puking: Bill Russell of the Celtics would vomit before every game.

In this latest book, Red Auerbach tells the story of one game where he realized during warm ups that Russell hadn't puked. Red immediately told all the players to return to the locker room. Everyone was confused, etc. When they asked Red why he said told them it was because Russell hadn't gotten sick before the game and the game can't go on until he does.

Tom Gordon puking in the bullpen before his appearances in the ALCS? Priceless.

The Jim Joyce comment pissed me off quite a bit, IMO. Wasn't he the same assclown who called the Bellhorn HR a ground rule double? Sounds like SOMEBODY had their Yankees shirt on under their uniform.

Brilliant! Just brilliant, anywho. Though, for poetic justice, I'd like to see Bronson Arroyo slap A-Rod back during a game....if only

Highlight from Patriots media day yesterday: Terrell Davis making the NFL Network sideline reporter ask Keith Traylor about his pregame ritual (TD & Traylor played together in Denver). Traylor said he USED to throw up before every game, but he's given it up. MF better not be jinxing our boys with his newly settled stomach.

I would have gotten away with it too...If it were'nt for those meddeling Umpires and that dog

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