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The Wrong 'em Boyo

The Soxaholix dig out from one of the better snow storms to hit the area in years …

Doug:
Christ, that was one fuck load of snow. Shovel you bitches, shovel!

 


Doug:
I was just a snot nosed toddler so don't remember it, but I've seen the pics. That was the motha of all snow storms.

 

Bill:
We lost powah for 20 hours. If my old man didn't have the wood stove goin', I swear we would have frozen to death right then and there.

 

Doug:
Speaking of losing powah, did you see that Slappy McBluelips is still flailing about, calling Schilling out and shit?

 

Bill:
I tell ya, this celebrity pokah thing with Schilling would be a lot more interesting if it included A-Fraud

 

Doug:
They were probably afraid Slappy would pull a Billy Boy to Schilling's Stagga Lee. [Sings the Clash lyrics] "But if you must lie and deceit And trample people under your feet. It is the wrong 'em boyo!"

 

Bill:
Absolutely. But, hey, how come Schilling can gamble and play cahds and shit. I thought that was a no-no with the Born Again crowd?

 

Doug:
Fercrissakes, everything is negotiable when it's for charity and shit.

 

Bill:
Hey, I bet Jesus would be one fuck of a pokah playa.

 

Doug:
Yeah, you'd be all "Man, I think Jesus is bluffing. He's got nothing. But then again..." And Jesus'd be all sitting there peaceful and shit, unreadable, freaking your ass out.

 

Bill:
Yeah, big time, and if you started to beat him, he'd be all putting the guilt mojo on you, all checking out your big ass pile of chips and saying, "Let him who has found the world and become rich deny the world." And you'd be thinking about his sandals and feeling all sorry for the poor.

 

Doug:
Yeah, and then when Jesus has finally beat your ass and he's scooping all his chips into his robe, for charity, of course, he'd be all cocky saying "Get some long haired chicks over here to wash and anoint my feet. And Jesus wants some wine, too. Don't make Jesus have to ask twice, fool. I'll smite your sorry ass. You want an ass smiten? Huh, do ya boy-ee?"

 

Comments

One of my first lucid memories as a wee child is the blizzid of '78. My mother opened the front door and snow has drifted completed over the entire opening. We were literally snowed in.

And as far as Schilldizzle playing poker: it isn't gambling, it's a skill. At least, that's what I told myself when I lost 300 bones at Foxwoods last year. I got outskilled.

Now you've done it--a Clash reference in the midst of a cleverly delivered pro-Red Sox blog site. I'm a fan forever.

Slappy should be hiding out in shame. Can you imagine the explosion of abuse when he comes out of that Fenway dugout?

"Fuck load" of snow, alright...

Talk about your 7 degrees of separation, I used the cash I earned from shoveling neighborhood driveways (some of them 3 times) during the blizzard of '78 to buy the new Clash album and a wicked cool punk t-shirt.

I especially like Curt's response when asked about A-hole not liking him. In the fine tradition of the ultimate sports put-down, a la Belachek, with that dead-pan look, "I sorry, did you say something?" Comeback, Bluelips? Didn't think so.

I knew this one would be good as soon as I saw the title. Though wouldn't a reference to "the Card Cheat" be more apropos?

Oh, great question regarding "The Card Cheat." You guys sure do know your Clash!

I went with "Wrong Em Boyo" instead because it dealt with named people and, as legend has it, is based on a true story. Also I liked the notion of comparing Schilling with "Stagger" Lee, since when he had his bloody sock, he had to stagger a bit.

Blizzard of 78 brings back some serious memories.....Sledding down the hill at Underwood on Concord Ave in Belmont, walking along the fifteen foot drifts lining the streets like some Nepalese Sherpa...getting paid to shovel driveways, MISSING SCHOOL FOR TWO WHOLE WEEKS!!....good stuff.....

I don't miss that shit at all now that I'm all grown up, you can keep your winter wonderland....

Nice Jesus/Poker slant there HB, well done...

h.b. I've been waiting for someone to throw this out:

So why, while I'm watching the Pats lay the smack down, am I subjected to this Nike Pro Apparel ad featuring a bunch of sports "bad asses" wearing spandex and funky masks? The best of all is Mariano "Exit Sandman" Rivera (he of the blown saves). Are we supposed to really "fear him" anymore?

Did no one else see this?

It gets better: go to the Nike site and get to "The Scorpion" (ooohhh shivers!). And it actually says:

"Mariano brings opponents to their knees with the venomous sting of his nasty cutter. His lethal delivery strikes opponents like a scorpion, taking down the biggest and baddest men in the game with efficiency."

He's wearing a mask that looks an awful lot like the one "Buffalo Bill" wore in Silence of the Lambs."

Oh, for CRISSAKES!!!

h.b., the fifteen minutes I spent bullshitting with Joe Strummer at a concert in 2000 was the greatest moment of my life until October 27th, 2004 (fittingly, about 40 minutes before my birthday - I can say the Sox gave me the greatest birthday present of all). But yeah, I guess the lyrics don't fit the whole A-fraud/Schilling tilt. Man, is that guy TRYING to make himself the biggest little bitch in baseball or what? Ball-slapper.

Ah, that is SO COOL about bullshitting with Strummer. I still can't believe he's gone.

Whitey, saw it too. What a load of crap. All I could think of was adding Ortiz or Manny to that commerical as some kind of large scorpion-eating predator and watch Rivera scurry under some rock for cover. Big Papi or Manny in one of those skin-tight pieces of Nike apparel might actually sell more of them, you know, a sort of beer-belly friendly commerical.

BTW, how many more teams do the Pats have to bitch-slap on national TV before just one of these ex-NFL, dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks, commentators gives Tom, Tedi and the boys the proper respect? All I heard all week long was, "Oooo! The Steelers are such a smash-mouth team. They'll be really tough!" Yeah, right, I more worried about being rolled by social security recipients for my Sox cap then the alledgedly "smash-mouth" Steelers. Same goes for the Eagles.

Ill Son of Dewey, you had a chat with Joe. You are blessed...

My wife got me a framed Joe Strummer Tribute print for my birthday and a framed World Series Sox "dogpile on the mound" picture for XMas--what a woman: she knows what I like.

The whole Slipknot/Nike ad concept is quite bizarre and I too was amused by the Mo Rivera piece. Possible Disclaimer:"FEAR THE SCORPION, UNLESS YOU ARE OF CRIMSON SOX!" Or something...

EA Sports Matchup with Jaws, Merril Hoge DID NOT acknowledge that running on the Pats was near impossible for most of the season. At 9:30AM (Matchup's timeslot), I was incredulous and, like many others, by 10PM vindicated.

2004 ALCS GAMES 4-7 Theme--I'm Not Down-London Calling
...like skyscrapers rising up, floor by floor, I'm not giving up...

Thanks.

Upon further review, Nike must be in a fiscal crunch or something. Their pantheon of "bad asses" reads like a cavalcade of also rans:
Torii Hunter of the Twinkies--'nuff said
Urlacher - the WWE wannabe who's sure to play for someone other than the Bears soon.
Ladainian Tomlinson - he of the we-let-the-AFC East-runners-up-come-to-our-house-and-thump-us Chargers
Pujols-he sure was scary in the Series!
The aforementioned Mr. Rivera
and, this is the best:
A silver-helmeted rookie QB from Pittsburgh.

Thank God that when they were filming this all of our guys were still playing in their respective quests for championships.

In '78 I played hookey from work at the Deaconess Hospital and crashed on the couch. I woke up later that afternoon and looked out the window... my '71 Challenger was up to the roofline buried by snowfall. My Dad left his car in the middle of 128, and we were stuck at the house for days. Geez, now I remember why I don't move back to Boston.

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