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The Three Amigos

When Shea Hillenbrand was traded from the Red Sox, he made a lot of disparaging remarks on his way out. Sox fans have not forgotten …

Bill:
Good news: Schilling says he'll be ready to face Randy Johnson on Opening Day.

 

Rider on Green Line:
I'm psyched but not at all surprised. He of the sutures and bloody sock doesn't go gently into that good night known as the DL.

 

Bill:
So when Schilling says that Randy Johnson is quote "special," does he mean, you know, special special? You know short bus special.

 

Rider on Green Line:
[Laughs] Speaking of the IQ-challenged, did you see that Toronto picked up Shea Hillenbrand?

 

Bill:
Is that really his wife in the photo DirtDogs has up? Oh my fucking God is she evah special.

 

Rider on Green Line:
And what is up with the chimps?

 

Bill:
Hey, don't fuck with the chimps. Gotta have somebody with brains in that household.

 

Rider on Green Line:
True. And I'm just so glad they are going with chimp children and haven't yet polluted the gene pool or anything.

 

Bill:
Abso-fucking-lutely. Somebody bettah make sure The Hillies see the United Nation's new condom campaign with the "Three Amigos"

 

Rider on Green Line:
They really named the talking condoms Shaft, Stretch and Dick? That's totally flippin' hilarious. Yeah, I'm sure that will work in convincing third world men from highly patriarchal cultures into going to the glove for love.

 

Bill:
All I know is that as a white guy I'm highly fucking offended that the United Nations of all places made the black condom the tallest. My fucking self esteem is irrerperably damaged now. [Laughs]

 

Rider on Green Line:
What race gets stuck with that stubby blue one? Poor effin' bahstids?

 

Comments

Haaaa!! Oh, shit! That's some good stuff, H.B.. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say the blue guy is Hispanic, or, Asian. Please tell me that was not Shea's wife. Maybe his comments stem from sexual frustration?

good stuff HB. From Shea Hellenbrand to cartoon condoms, actually it might not be the leap it appears. So if the Monkey gets out of hand does it have to be spanked? Are those quotes his own words, if they are he's fluent in gibberish. I would suggest that OBP is a good thing for 1,2 and 3 in the inning or you might as well send in the picher to bat cleanup and not waste the salary on a DH.
And the blue codom Finnish.

No way. HB, that's not really his wife, is it? Christ, she's a fucking mess.

if that is shea's wife... well, that would certainly answer any questions as to why he's fondling a chimp.

Hey, TypePad has been totally screwy for the past 24 hours. Just noticed it had duplicated today's post.

I deleted the extra one, but that mean the comments associated with it got deleted. I did a copy of those and I'm pasting them below.

+++++++

good stuff HB. From Shea Hillenbrand to cartoon condoms, actually it might not be the leap it appears, gene pool etc. So if the Monkey gets out of hand does it have to be spanked?
Are those quotes his own words, if they are he's fluent in gibberish. I would suggest that OBP is a good thing for 1,2 and 3 in the inning or you might as well send in the picher to bat cleanup and not waste the salary on a DH.
And the blue codom Finnish.

Posted by: Robert (00:05) at January 13, 2005 09:20 AM

"Short Bus Special"..that's great H.B. Here in Cow Hampshire, we call it "The Window Licker Bus"

Let's remember, very few ballplayers will be bringing the potoato salad to the Mensa Club picnic. From Roger's being 'misinterpretated' to Randy Johnson's training 'regiment'. Most of these guys would be carrying leaf blowers if they couldn't play ball. The erudite and well-spoken Bill Lee types are few and far between.

Triple A Shea? Is it any coincidence that 'chimp' and 'chump' are but a vowel apart? Whether that's his wife or not, for fuck's sake lady, hit a friggin' stairmaster.

The tiny condom must be Czech. With the exception of Zdeno Chara, the Czech's sticks are their dicks, the way they play hockey. Pussies.

Posted by: GaryGeiger at January 13, 2005 10:04 AM

Isn't there some universal law of manhood that we never dump on another's guys wife? Girlfriends you can rag on all day long - but once he says I do she gains lifetime protection as long as they are married.

or something like that.

When Shea Hillenbrand called Theo Epstein a "faggot" he immediately lost all the usual benefits with regard to being dumped on. Even his chimp is fair game for insult at this point. At least that's the way Bill and Doug (who was speaking from the T) see it.

Great stuff today h.b. After seeing Shea's chimp and wife? picture I could not get Dieter from Sprockets (Mike Myers) voice out of my head: "Do you want to pet my monkey? Pet him. Love him. You know you want to!" Shea, dude, you have trouble getting your son..I mean chimp across the border into O! Canada! Might even have trouble getting the Mrs. across.


All I gotta say is... If Hillie
can call Theo Epstein a "faggot"
it makes you wonder what kind of
whacky shit he did to the nerds
at his high school...

If I were Theo, Hillie would be
playing for you Kuala Lampur Mudhens
right now ;)

Sorry folks, but that's definitely NOT Triple Shea's wife. He may be dumb as a brick and an asshole, but his wife is a little blonde cutie...I remember they posted pics of her on SoSH a couple years ago.

I agree with HB about the force field coming off when he did that WAAF interview. When he said (referring to Theo) "trade me now, faggot", I will not only never forget how he got away with that, as a fan I will NEVER forgive him. First of all, WAAF is the worst station EVER. I would rather lick the sweat off of Eddie Andelman's ball bag than listen to those thieving fucks for 3 minutes at that station. They have never heard a Stern bit they didn't love. So there goes ANY credibility whatsoever. I'd be willing to bet that the only way Shea Cooper, I mean Scott Hillenbrand could find that woman's pussy would be to flip through her skin folds until he smells shit, then go back one.

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