« Chiquitita | Main | Saying good bye to a fantastic year »

Egotism, nature's compensation for mediocrity

Rumors of a Yankees leviathan begin to surface …

Marty:
Hey, Callaghan, I was just checking to see if everything is Jared Wright in your little soon to be second place again city.

 

Bill:
Hey, Marty, get a hold of your diminutive self and press the down button on your elevator shoes. You still have to play the 162 don't forget.

 

Marty:
Face it Billy Boy, we've got Wright and we'll eventually have Johnson and Beltre. Mights as well start printing the playoff tickets right now.

 

Bill:
Don't forget, Marty, you still have to face the best of the best in the playoffs. Fact is your Spankees and Slappies haven't had what it takes to win it all for a couple of seasons now.

 

Marty:
Say this slowly as your cry yourself to sleep in August, Callaghan: Jeter, Beltran, Rogriguez, Sheffield, Matsui, Williams, Martinez, Posada, and Womack. Not that's a lineup.

 

Bill:
I don't see much evidence of championship leadership there. Just a bunch of mercenaries, errand boys sent by grocery clerks.

 

Marty:
Ah, yes, "leadership." That's why your genius Theo Epstein overpaid for the very worst catcher in the American League with respect to throwing out runners.

 

Bill:
Yes, indeed, Marty. Varitek's primary job isn't to throw out runners but to intimidate your sissy boys. How's that working out for you, Marts?

 

Marty:
You wish, Billy. A-Rod in his second season is going to be awesome.

 

Bill:
I'm so scared Marty. A-Fraud is all wrapped up in himself, but he makes a pretty small package.

 

Comments

If Theo can do this, per Baseball Prospectus:

Added VORP Status
David Wells 40.3 2 yr/$8MM ($10MM incentives)
Matt Clement 36.9 3 yr/$25MM
Wade Miller 21.8 1 yr/$1.5MM ($3MM incentives)

Lost VORP Status
Pedro Martinez 51.2 Mets; 4 yr/$53MM
Derek Lowe -11.5 Rejected arbitration

Then I have absolute confidence in them resigning Tek. And with the Mets getting Beltran (fingers crossed), the Skankees lineup doesn't scare me as much. The Slappy FanBoy will be saying Damon, Renteria, Ramirez, Ortiz, Millar, Varitek, Nixon, Bellhorn, Mueller in his sleep.

The Big Unit is a whore. If he had decided to play for the BoSox he'd be a knight in shining armor, but by begging, scraping, and pleading to go to the MF Spankees, he has sold himself like an oh-so-expensive crack whore in the newly cleaned up Times Square. Give me the idiots any day of the week. The NY Wankees' whorish lineup will be going down (pun intended) in 05. Mahk my words.

For all the "Blue-Blood" to "Blue-Lip" Skankees and their fans...
No heart - No guts
No guts - No glory
You can pay them to play but when they haven't got the fight in 'em...well second is something you can be proud of.
Oh yeah, how's that 25 "ill-ion" tax bill taste goin' down?

Jared Wright? BFD.
The man has always impressed me as something of a meathead. One good year warrants 3 yrs. @$21 mil?
Expect a meltdown somewhere in year one.
Me, I can hardly wait.

H.B., do you write Marty's character or is this transcribed from actual conversations you have with a Yankees' fan? I was just thinking, saying things like Varitek being the worst catcher in the league at anything, is something I'd have a hard time doing, even for the sake of comedy. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Bless your immortal soul.

Some of the Marty stuff I make up, but the majority I take (either directly or paraphrase) from things I find on Yankees fan blogs or message boards or from a people I know who are Yanks fans and say stuff like that to me in person.

The bit about V-Tek comes directly from a Yankees blog. (Take the link on that one to read more.)

Great title...sums it up perfectly, the mf yankees just throw money and hype at you until they get the result they want, it's hard to see the baseball through all that...it would be amazing if they would just play the game on the field.

I can't wait for the season to start...

I look forward to the most overpaid rotisserie team in history falling flat on its face!

Unless I'm much mistaken, the link (and quote) for the VTek comment is from a Red Sox blog.

the apocalypse now line never sounded so true, so ringingly true!!!!

"Unless I'm much mistaken, the link (and quote) for the VTek comment is from a Red Sox blog."

Yep. But via a Yankees blog. My bad for not making that more clear. Thanks for pointing it out.

We've already established per an earlier appearance by Marty that he reads the Red Sox blogs as well, so he'll use anything negative he can (even if he has to twist the original meaning) in order to diss Bill.

Went to see my Dad and Mom at Christmas. When I go there Mom was in bed (8 PM is past her bedtime now), but Dad was up. 80 years old, he can barely get out of his chair, and he's got an oxygen tank on his hip to help fight the emphysema, but he had his "A-Rod slaps balls" T-shirt on with a big smile!

RonF, that story made my day. That makes what I am about to write so much harder.

(Poor Taste Alert) Here's your typical Spankees fan. Look closely and you can see that he is indeed wearing a MFY cap.

Looks like he spelled Fag correctly to me.

All's well that ends well and thanks for the info that led to getting things solved. I would have hated Dad living to see the Red Sox win but not make it to getting to wear the T-shirt!

I can't tell how this guy spelled "fag" on his forehead, but it looks spelled correctly on his hat.

Hey, I have to wonder about the MFY's implicated in BALCO. Are we going to get to a point where some of these guys might get suspended?

The comments to this entry are closed.

The Soxaholix eBook Spinoff

The captivating and long awaited Soxaholix eBook spinoff is finally available!

There's No Crying in Pocket Pool

cover

Purchase at Amazon.

T-shirt

Logo t-shirts now available, several colors, even pink.

'Soxaholix logo t-shirt