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Chiquitita

When there's no baseball news and no blizzards, what's a Soxaholix to do? Well, pick on A-Rod of course …

Bill:
You know I'm as guilty of trying to find the bright side of a player's decline as the next fan …

 

Mike:
Fuck yeah you are. If there's one truism about Red Sox fans it's our ongoing optimism. [Laughs]

 

Bill:
Absolutely. In our world the glass is always half full. Of course, it's half full of fucking poison but that's beside the point. What I'm getting at is how Yankees fans are going out of their way to put a positive spin on A-Rod.

 


Bill:
I giggle with the irony to all these "if other teams could be so lucky to have a playa in so-called decline" whitewashes. The phrase you get what you pay for works both ways. Just because you can afford to pay best playa in the league salaries to guy who is no longer the best playa in the league, doesn't always mean that's a good thing.

 

Mike:
My favorite can't see the forest for the trees problem with the A-Fraud postseason Spankees fan spin is the ol' if it wasn't for his manufacturing that winning run in the rubbah game of the ALDS, the Spankees wouldn't have made it to the next round.

 

Bill:
Oh, no shit. Don't they know we Red Sox fans piss our pants with joy over the shadenfreade in that? No manufactured run against the Twins means no chance to witness the ultimate Slappy McBluelips humiliation.

 

Mike:
Yeah, the manufactured run was like Napolean escaping exile on Elba only to meet his Waterloo shortly thereaftah.

 

Bill:
Beautiful. Whenevah Slappy comes to bat at Fenway in '05, they should play Abba's Waterloo ovah the PA.

 

Mike:
Great idea. And after he grounds out they could play Chiquitita as he walks his sorry ass back to the dugout. [Sings] "Chiquitita, you and I know. How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving."

 

Bill:
Abba nevah gets fucking old.

 

Comments

Fuckin' Slappy. I am so happy he slapped that friggin' ball. It only cemented the image of him as an overpaid lightweight who can't handle his business. My favorite memory of the 2004 season is Tek smacking him in his pretty little overpaid face, practically calling him a bitch on national TV.

I totally agree da kine. Am I the only one who thinks that picture of Tek rearranging Slappy's face(the one on the front of Faithful)the best picture of 2004? I think they should have made Tek captain that day but thats just me. Anyone else agree?

My favorite line in the new Stephen King/Stewart O'Nan book is about the ARod/Tek altercation. Something (paraphrasing) along the lines of, "only ARod would pick a fight with a guy wearing a mask and pads. Didn't he ever play hockey?" Dimwit.

"Money Money Money" by Abba would also be a nice compliment to the pantheon of ARod/Abba songs:

'To win a fortune in a game, my life will never be the same...

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world'

Of course, "Waterloo" also begs for some Les Miserables analogies too...

so I suppose that Tek should be Arthur Wellesley, the Duke of Wellington. Although Frnacona has the nose for the role. What makes me smile is that the legend has it that Napoleon lost the battle of Waterloo because his piles were playing up and he was off his game as a result. I wonder if that was what was bothering slappy.

Sad thing is, ABBA isn't Slappy's favorite band.

It's Cher or the Village People.

But Tek in my opinion is better than Admiral Nelson because he sent Slappy packing.

I think Randy Newman's "It's Money that Matters" fits A-Fraud,
"Got a great big pool in my back yard. Got another great big pool beside it."

There's something creepy about this A-Rod guy. Remember Steve Garvey, All-American clean cut boy who, as it turned out, like his wife to do the dominatrix thing, complete with riding crop? I'll be Mrs. Rodriguez gets into her Red Sox uniform, #33 of course, and whips his sorry arse with a cather's mitt chanting "No Alex, fuck YOU"

Manufacturing a run in the ALDS and then getting "buzz-sawed" by The Sawx, was analogous to Wile E. Coyote escaping one of his own booby-traps and then getting mauled by another.
tsk..tsk...tsk..."Super-Genius"

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