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The clock ticking on warm as a cobra

Finally, baseball resumes tonight with the Red Sox meeting up with the Angels in Cali, meanwhile …

Mike:
So Mullet Man's agent alludes that Boston may be low on the skinny red neck's list because he wants to play for a so-called contender. What the fuck is up with that?

 

Doug:
Randy Johnson is a fucking pussy, that's all. He's 41 and he's tired. Wants the easy life at the Steinbrenner Home for the Aged.

 

Mike:
No, shit. Fuck the Big Wrinkled Unit. I think of him and I think of old men in four dollar rooms looking for socks in dresser drawers while standing in brown underwear all the time the clock ticking on warm as a cobra.

 

Doug:
Yeah, waiting on the anvil while smoking, pissing, reading Genet or the funny papers … [Laughs] Meanwhile, it's on to the Left Coast to start the second half.

 

Mike:
Isn't Anaheim where that hotter than hot Gwen Stefani and her band of never doubtful backups hail from?

 

Doug:
Yeah, yeah, but I lost my celebrity fan stalker wanking worship for that bitch … I'm just not a mole man if you know what I'm sayin' … Skinny O.C. girl's got some sort of malignancy or something.

 

Mike:
What the fuck are you talking about? The chick is flawless.

 

Doug:
Ah, the all seeing eye of HDTV. Wait 'til you turn on to that shit, dude. I lost Cameron acne scarred Diaz to the pore gazing hitech idiot box. [Laughs]

 

Mike:
Fuck, technology always has it's price, eh? But speaking of acne scarring, you going to check out that new Bukowski documentary?

 

Doug:
Bukowski? Nevah fucking heard of him. Who'd he play for?

 

Mike:
[To himself] The way to end a strip like this is to become suddenly quiet …

 

Author's Notes
Both the "looking for socks" speech by Mike and the counter with "waiting on the anvil" come from lines in the Bukowski poem "lack of almost everything." Mike's final silent speech is inspired by the final verse in Buk's "love & fame & death"

Comments

Bukowski,Stefani,and Randy Johnson all in one strip!!!My day is already off to a good start.

What is worse than high pitched Asserotti on with the world's most arrogant fucktard, Dale "Peppy LePew" Arnold? I'd like to hit him square in the nut sack with a 4 battery police flaslight just to hear his voice change. This moron is STILL sticking up for Jimy Williams. I bet he's got Nomar's baby batter all over his ass cheeks.

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