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Let's move to Boise?

The Red Sox return to Fenway for a 6 game home stand …

Susan/Circle:
If the Red Sox don't kick some mofo ass in their own crib, I'll dye my hair another color and start dressing like a dyke.

 

Mike:
Me too! I'll get a crew cut. [Laughs]

 

Susan/Circle:
And while we play the AL Central leading Twinkies, guess who the team who cannot be named is playing?

 

Mike:
Oh, for fuck's sake don't tell me it's that triple A team from the Crab City again?

 

Susan/Circle:
None other. The teabaggers are oh-for-the-season against the carpet bombers. Oh, but good ol' Yankee in disguise Mazzilli still believes in them.

 

Mike:
Evidently the Orioles front office haven't thrown in the towel either as they just traded Pedro's cousin for Grimsley.

 

Susan/Circle:
Whoo hoo. I'm sure A-Fraud is shaking in his spikes. [Laughs]

 

Mike:
Honest question: As a chick, do you think A-Rod is hot?

 

Susan/Circle:
Let's put it this way. I wouldn't suck his lousy dick if I was suffocating and there was oxygen in his balls.

 

Author's Notes:
The majority of today's speeches are bit taken from John Waters' cult classic film "Pink Flamingos" which was filmed in Baltimore and is perhaps the most disgusting movie ever made (though pretty funny just the same). John Waters, of course, lives and works in Baltimore.

Comments

just a thought, but don't the O's have our number quite hardily??? I can't find the head-to-head stats, but I'm fairly certain they're WAAAY ahead for the season.

Oh, mos def. When the O's play us they morph into the '27 Yankees or something. They only absolutely lay over and die when they play the Yankees.

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