« A veritable quandary, homeboy. | Main | Freak Accidents b/w You Are My Sunshine »

The Vengabus is Coming!

The losing streak ends at 5 as the Red Sox beat the Indians 9-5 …

First I have to thank the Lord Jesus Christ. It is only through Him that we are able to Ortizzle.


It is only through Him that I am able to move my eyeballs from left to right, right to left and to crane my neck the way I do. Imagine not being able to move your eyeballs or crane your neck!


How does it feel to jump back on the Red Sox bandwagon?


It feels like unwavering morning wood while riding the junior high school bus. On the one hand, you are tingly with the unexpected enormity of your Levi corduroy pop tent. On the other hand, you are abashed and a little ashamed of the timing not to mention your singular desire to more than anything hold a set of your nubile bus mates mammeries in your handeries. It matters not whose.


Hey, they don't call it the Vengabus for nothing. [Laughs] Did you hear the Spankees sent Contreras to Single A?


Our Lord works in mysterious ways, like letting his only Son, Johnny Jesus Damon bat a leper like .245. Johnny, why hath the Father forsaken you?


And tonight, the golden calf demands our worship. [Laughs]


Author's Notes
Ortiz (AKA Ortizzle) hit two homers last night. The J.C. thanks was inspired by an Aug 1, 1996 entry in Letters to Wendy's.


i can't believe you just referenced the venga boys. i just can't.

We have memories of debaucheries in Ibiza.

Next up will be Ketchup Song.

Aserejé ja de jé de jebe tu de jebere seibiunouva
majavi an de bugui an de buididipí.

Shake that boo-tay!

The comments to this entry are closed.

The Soxaholix eBook Spinoff

The captivating and long awaited Soxaholix eBook spinoff is finally available!

There's No Crying in Pocket Pool


Purchase at Amazon.


Logo t-shirts now available, several colors, even pink.

'Soxaholix logo t-shirt