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Frequent Micturition (You'll get used to it.)

The Red Sox are beat down by the Blue Jays and fall out of first place. The mood among some is very bitter …

Bill:
So much for first fucking place. Hope you enjoyed it.

 

Doug:
Course not. I love being in motherfucking second place.

 

Bill:
Yeah, nothing like the comfort of looking up and seeing those Pinstriped buttocks ahead of you.

 

Doug:
No shit. I've grown so used to seeing Derek Jeter's round, shapely male ass in front of me, that I've grown rather fond of it.

 

Bill:
Good fucking news: Starting Monday you can legally marry that ass. [Laughs] No more being the Yankees' bridesmaid. Now you can be the bride!

 

Doug:
Right on! Me and Derek Jeter shall swing by the Anal Ranch, pick up the Lord (you know how much He adores all things Yankees!), and we shall have a Butt-Fuck Week End. And the Lord shall ask, "How do you like being on the bottom?" And I will respond, "Lord, I was motherfucking born into it."

 

Bill:
Last night marked the 9th time in the last 11 games the Red Sox gave up at least a run in the first inning.

 

Doug:
It's so easy to get to first in the first on Sox pitching they are becoming the sluts of the AL. Need a booty call? Dial up a starter.

 

Bill:
And the pimp Francona says, "Teams have been scoring on us early a lot. Then if you make a mistake, it becomes more glaring." Jeez, Terry, you think?

 

Doug:
The chrome dome is a motherfucking managerial genius. I fucking love the way he handles the bullpen.

 

Bill:
So much for thinking I could get off Prozac this year. Instead, I'm going to have to increase the dosage. Bring on that frequent micturition. [Laughs]

 

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