The Red Sox take another from the (always) struggling Tampa Bay club…
Bill:
I know it's only the D-Rays, but Christ, Schilling looked good!
Doug:
7 innings, one run? Schucks, man, My balls were hanging low from all that Schilly heat. Ain't nothing schitty in the schire. Beware Schiva!
Bill:
[Laughs] Let me schare something with you … OK, 40 games in, playing .600 ball, first place … and all this without two huge offensive weapons. Gotta tell ya, I'm real enthused with these results.
Doug:
Too bad the Spankees didn't lose. Whenever I look at the results and see L next to NYY, it's the same wonderful feeling of the cold toilet seat on my ass when I'm about to take a 2 flush, shipyard dump.
Bill:
Speaking of Spankees, did you see Catalano's all up in arms over CrackerJackGate?
Doug:
When isn't that Yankee ho all cranked up? I thought that new pool would chill her motherfucking Long Island ass out?
Doug:
Besides, I hate Cracker Jacks.
Bill:
You hate Cracker Jacks? Who the fuck hates Cracker Jacks?
Doug:
It's the mofo free prizes, dude. At first I was lured in slowly. Each new toy appeared to be a new step toward establishing me in an eternal state of play. The insufficiency of each discarded toy was always hidden by the promise of the next toy. But Magic Motion Fun Cards? What the fuck is that all about? A is for Airplane. F is for Fuck you toy frauds and I damn all your flickers, tilters and wiggle pictures to hell! [Laughs]
Bill:
You didn't have too many friends as a kid did you? [Laughs]
Doug:
I've said it before and I'll say it again: My resplendence has no bitch. [Laughs]
