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Bend It Like Beckham

A rainout on Monday, the devil will find work for idle hands to do …

Bill:
So who was the hottie you were chatting up at the beer works last night?

 

Doug:
Ah, Ruthie from Houghton Mifflin …

 

Bill:
Looked like you were working it wicked haahhd [laughs]

 

Doug:
Still am. There is the question of who I really am, the tiger or the trainer. Am I this caged pulse, this spacing strength and silence, or do I stand around it, calming it endlessly, talking, singing, making whatever noise I can to bring it closer to sleep? Clearly I am the trainer …

 

Bill:
And there are moments when you put me to sleep. [Laughs] You've got her cell number, right?

 

Doug:
But of course.

 

Bill:
Then you ought to Bend It Like Beckham!

 

Doug:
Yes. Text messaging! Wicked pissa of an idea.

 

Bill:
Beckham's got talent with the words. This was my fave: "I want you to put my ***** in your ***** so it ****** all ***** hot and ***** over a gay priest" [Laughs]

 

Doug:
[Laughing] Yeah, the "gay priest" is the pièce de résistance!

 

Author's Notes:
Doug's lion trainer speech is from Letters to Wendy's 08/02/97/

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