The glass is half Manny

Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
Bucholz on the 15-Day, Hansen and Delcarman can't get anyone out, Oki is not OK

 

Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
One horrendous pitching performance after anothah leading to losses in 6 of the last 8 …

 

Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
And not just losses but losses where they give up
10 runs
7 runs
9 runs
7 runs
5 runs
6 runs

 

Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
What the hell is up with this team?

 

Two guys walking, short guy speaks:

 

Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
Dude, WTF? I'm pouring my heart out ovah heah and you've got is "…"

 

Two guys walking, no words exchanged:

 

Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
I mean I just don't like what I'm seeing.

 

Two guys walking, short guy speaks:
Then stop looking and staht living.

 

Two guys walking, tall guy speaks:
!

 

May 15, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Back in 2nd

Tara:
I didn't think I ever live to see the day.

 

Susan/Circle:
What that an African-American is poised to become the next President of the United States?

 

Tara:
No, that the Red Sox would fall out of first place because of a loss and a Tampa Bay win over the Yankees.

 

Susan/Circle:
Seriously what's next — Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

 

Tara:
Well, Josh Beckett's definitely had fire and brimstone coming down from the skies look about him after his 11 hits and 5 runs in 5 2/3 innings performance last night.

 

Susan/Circle:
Yeah, while Julian Tavarez's angry batshitedness was amusing, Beckett's seething is on a whole other level.

 

Tara:
They say his teammates don't even want to make eye contact with him when he's in one of his rages. Hell, I don't even want to make eye contact with him on the TV.

 

Susan/Circle:
Let's face it, if Josh Beckett couldn't throw a 98mph major league fastball, we'd more than likely be seeing him on an episode of Cops.

 

Tara:
Absolutely. He'd be another shirtless redneck streaked in blood and professing his innocence.

 

Susan/Circle:
What is up with the shirtless rednecks anyway? Is there like some redneck handbook that instructs one to remove shirt before transgressing into criminality?

 

Tara:
Yeah, I think that's in there along with instructions regarding the optimal placement of broken down cars in your front yard and deep frying Twinkies.

 

May 14, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (28)

What Would Julian Do?

Bill:
Christ, I watched every game against the Twins yet somehow I'm shocked with the realization this morning that we only took 1 of 4 in the series.

 

Mike:
Yeah, all those late rallies only to come up short in the very end …

 

Bill:
And this team looks so good, looks like they should be taking 3 of 4 of every series and be 6 games or more ahead of the pack by now … yet here we are not only just a ½ game in front, and a ½ game in front of Tampa Bay no less.

 

Mike:
Patience, guy, patience.

 


Bill:
I won't miss the white knuckling every time Tavarez took the mound wondering if the "good" version or the "holy fuck shield your eyes" version would show up …

 

Bill:
But I will miss that giddy anticipation at the possibility that at any given moment Tavarez would go totally batshit on us.

 

Mike:
So if he ends up in Colorado, does he go batshit there evah? I mean how does Julian's arbitrary and explosive violence fit in with drinking the Coors' Jesus Juice?

 

Bill:
Well, it's not like the Bible is devoid of arbitrary violence, just ask Isaac.

 

Mike:
True. But still, it wouldn't be the same seeing Tavarez karate kick some deserving Philistine ass while in one of those aburd purple vests the Rockies wear.

 

May 13, 2008 | Permalink | Comments (14)