Forget the lasso the moon thing, just close the game

Doug:
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, say hello to the team with the most wins in the American League, your Boston Red Sox.

 

Al:
15 games ovah .500

 

Doug:
Now if we could only had a closah.

 

Mike:
Seriously, every time Bailey pitches an angel has his wings hacked off, Buffaloed, and eaten by gargoyles in Hell.

 

Al:
Do they have sports bars in Hell.

 

Mike:
Yeah, but they're not much different from the ones on earth.

 

Al:
Ah, bad TV angle, piss warm beer, tramped-stamped ho waitress, mediocre food, and I guy at the adjacent hightop conducting what he believes is the most serious phone meeting in the history of Capitalism at the top of his voice?

 

Mike:
I'm pretty sure Hell is that cellphone guy next to you 24/7 non stop.

 

Al:
Most annoying line from loud talking business cell phone guy...

"I'll be traveling on international business but if you can't get a hold of me I'll be checking my email while I'm traveling internationally."

 

Doug:
Just imagine, somewhere in an undisclosed location, the NSA has supercomputer codenamed Douchebag where all those guys' calls are stored.

 

Al:
The terrorists have so won.

 

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